Except I didn't want to go home. The law firm, the courthouse—they were more my home than my apartment. I was made for the legal world. I ached with betrayal and loss. Everything I wanted in life was crumbling apart and I didn't even have a basket to put the pieces in.
I wiped another set of tears from my cheeks and hugged my knees in tighter. This isn't the end of the world, it just feels like it. My Mom used to tell me that all the time when I was a kid. This too shall pass. I knew it was true, but for now, I just wished it didn't hurt so much.
***
“I didn't know anyone else knew about this spot.”
I looked up from my secret desk in the library in surprise. The late afternoon sun reflected warmth across Kathryn McDonald's stern features. She had a large ceramic mug and a legal pad in her hands.
“Ms. McDonald,” I stuttered, quickly gathering my things and closing my laptop. “Let me get out of your way.”
She waved a hand through the air to negate me. “No, no, don't get up. You were here first.” She smiled and pulled a chair over with her free hand. I sat back down, suddenly nervous. “Actually, I was looking for you.”
I had already been told by one partner that my dreams were gone. I wasn't looking forward to round two. I was probably going to be fired. Why else would Kathryn McDonald be looking for me?
“I'm sorry I wasn't at my desk.” I just needed a chance to explain myself. Maybe I could still manage to keep my job. I didn't have the current “Grooming the Future Generation” option anymore, but I wasn't ready to leave the firm either. “I just couldn't concentrate down there, so I brought my work up here, and-”
“It's a good place to work,” Ms. McDonald agreed, cutting off my nervous babble. She set her legal pad down on the edge of the desk and took a sip of tea. She frowned down at it and blew on the steam. It must have been too hot.
“Ms. McDonald, I'm sorry if I bothered you last night. I shouldn't have gone over the associates' heads like that, but I thought you should have the information and—”
“Lena,” Ms. McDonald said gently, cutting me off again. She placed on of her hands on mine. “You're not in trouble.”
“I'm not?” Relief flooded through me and I no longer thought I might have a heart attack.
“No.” Kathryn smiled and shook her head. “Quite the opposite, in fact. I'd like to offer you a job.”
I stared at her, utterly confused. “I already have a job... unless I was fired and didn't realize it.”
She laughed gently. It was a pleasant, normal sound I wasn't expecting. “I guess it's more of a promotion than a job,” she explained, sounding a little unsure of herself. In my head, Kathryn McDonald was a mythic lawyer of epic proportions. I had forgotten that she was human, but sitting here with her, I was slowly changing my opinion. “I'd like you to be my personal paralegal.”
“What?” I started to shake my head no. There was no way I was qualified to be a personal anything for a lawyer as good as Kathryn. “You have plenty of associates and more qualified—”
“Lena,” she cut me off again. The quirk of her mouth at least suggested she was finding my babbling amusing rather than irritating. “Most of the files I get from the associates have your initials on them. I've seen your work. You do as well, if not better, than several associates I know. You may not have the letters after your name, but you have experience and I'd rather have someone with experience and a brain helping me than fancy letters.”
I sat there, in the presence of my legal hero, completely shocked. My ability to speak completely vanished. She was offering me a dream job as well as giving me the best compliment I could ask for. I couldn't find the words. Kathryn sipped on her tea again, this time finding it the right temperature.
“Did you know I was a paralegal?” she asked, conversationally. I was fairly sure I had to be dreaming. I shook my head no and she continued. “I was. I became a paralegal because someone said I would be good at it. I became a lawyer because I knew I would be fantastic at it.”
I was still a little in shock as she sipped her tea again. She watched me, her green eyes taking in every detail and analyzing it. I hoped I didn't look like a disappointment.
“I tell you this because you remind me a lot of myself.” Kathryn set her cup down on the desk. “I've been searching for someone since my previous paralegal retired. She was good, but you're better. What I need is another me and you're the next best thing.”
“So you want me to be your personal paralegal?” I asked, sounding like a very confused parrot. I was still trying to get over the fact that she was just sitting her telling me her life story like a normal person. This was beyond what I thought could happen today.
“Yes. I want you to work solely on my cases. You report to me and only me. You will attend all court hearings with me and accompany me on meetings.” She picked her cup back up and took another sip. It smelled like some sort of green tea. “You will work closely with my secretary and the associates under me. It will be long hours, there will be travel, and I expect perfection.”
“All court hearings?” I whispered. Just seeing her once in court would be amazing, let alone getting to go to all of them.
“Yes.” She frowned over her tea cup, thinking that I was going to object. “Is that a problem?”
“No!” I managed to choke out. That was the opposite of a problem. It was a dream come true. “It's fantastic! I've got to be dreaming. This is too good to be real...”
Kathryn grinned, obviously enjoying this. “It gets better.”
“Better?”
“You get a raise. A good one. Better than good, really.” She sipped nonchalantly on her tea as she slid a piece of paper with an absurdly high number on it across the desk.
I couldn't find the words for the millionth time that day. Instead, my mouth just hung open in disbelief.
“There is one downside, though,” Kathryn informed me. She lowered her cup to her lap. “You would be ineligible for the Grooming the Future Mentor Observation with Elijah Smith. You can't observe his cases if you're busy with mine.”
“I'm all right with that! I'd be observing you instead,” I gasped. My heart was singing hymns. This had to be a dream.
“You'd be doing more than just observing. You'll be working. You want the job?” Kathryn asked. Her voice was controlled, but her eyes sparkled with the joy of offering someone their dreams.