The familiar sound of the drawer sliding open calmed me as I once again pulled out the worn envelope and held it in my hands. I ran my hands over the cryptic message written on the outside, remembering the years I had with him and how suddenly it all had changed. We were supposed to have forever. I would have gladly spent every day of my life with him, never regretting a single second. But he was gone and all that remained was me and Maddie....and an unopened letter. Taking one last look, I placed the letter back in the drawer, hoping one day I’d be ready for whatever lay sealed in that envelope. But it was not today.
“So, let me get this straight? It’s been three weeks since your super-hot and heavy date?” Leah practically shouted in my ear, trying to be heard over the crowds of people in the popular downtown bar we had chosen for the evening. Downtown was a madhouse on the weekends and I usually tried to avoid it, but Leah loved the crowds and the excitement. She said sitting back watching people make fools of themselves all night was the best free entertainment in the entire city. I personally would rather be home in my fuzzy slippers reading. But whatever. At least I looked hot.
I nodded, taking a sip of my drink. White Russian, yum.
“And you still haven’t had sex?” she asked, swirling her cranberry and vodka around with a straw.
I shook my head in confirmation.
“Wow, that guy must have balls of steel!” she laughed.
“Oh my God, you’re horrible. He said on our first date I wasn’t a casual fling for him and he wanted this to work. I’m letting him work through that, however long it may take.”
And good God, I was starting to think I might spontaneously combust if he waited any longer. For a guy known as a walking man whore, he had the patience of a saint when it came to me. Or so it seemed. For the last three weeks, he’d been the perfect gentleman. I would have thought he was losing interest if I hadn’t caught the heat in his eyes when he thought I wasn’t looking.
We had barely spent a minute alone in the last three weeks and I think it was part of his master plan. Having Maddie around meant he couldn’t jump me, so he kept her around like a sobriety sponsor. When Maddie wasn’t around we went someplace public. It was exasperating. The other day he came over to give Maddie a guitar lesson. It was the first time I’d heard him play. He was amazing, and also failed to mention he could sing. After fifteen minutes I was barely able to sit still, I was so turned on by his long, talented fingers strumming that guitar. I abruptly asked Maddie to take a few minutes and go play in her room and then I pounced, straddling him on the couch and kissing him with fierce passion. I thought I finally was making headway when his hands went under my shirt and cupped my br**sts, but then he shot off the couch, panting, muttering something about a plan.
“See, you should have just taken my advice when you called home that night of your date. You would be sitting here a much, much happier woman,” Leah scolded.
I rolled my eyes recalling the conversation I had with Leah that night in the Bed and Breakfast. It took a full five minutes to convince her that there really was a downed tree in the road that was preventing us from getting home. She thought I was making some lame excuse for not coming home in order to stay the night with Logan. Finally, after she believed I was telling the truth, it took another five minutes for her to stop trying to convince me to sneak into his bedroom late that night, completely nude, telling him I was cold, and needed help getting warm. I had no idea where Leah thought this shit up. She must sit around, daydreaming p**n ographic scenes all day.
“No, I definitely shouldn’t have. I think it’s sweet. And I fully support him,” I said defensively.
“Uh huh, and how many times have you masturbated in the last two weeks?” she asked.
“Leah! I can’t believe you would ask such a question!” I snapped, feigning innocence.
She just looked at me, waiting for my answer.
“Fine. Every day, happy?”
“Not as happy as you, apparently.” We both laughed and raised our glasses, toasting to the countless times we’d spent together laughing and sharing our lives.
Our waitress continued to bring us rounds as we emptied our glasses. I think we were about three drinks in, and my head was starting to feel fuzzy, when she saw him.
“Oh my God. I think I just saw Declan James walk in. What the f**k would he be doing here, in Richmond?” she shrieked in excitement, hitting me on the arm to get my attention.
Oh shit.
Not good. So not good. She was gonna be pissed when she saw who he was with.
“And, what the hell? He just walked in with your boyfriend! Something you forgot to tell me, Clare?”
Crap.
~Logan~
So far, so good. We made it through dinner and no one seemed to notice Declan. Or me. Not that I was usually recognized outside of bars and clubs. It did help that he had a baseball cap pulled tightly around his head and dark glasses. The bar we just walked into, after dropping Colin off at home, was one he picked and I wasn’t too confident in his choice. It was packed, bodies pressed together, filling every square inch. But it’s what the guy wanted and I was letting him run the show.
Even though he hadn’t reached true fame yet, Declan was on his way. He played a supporting role in a movie last year that had created a lot of Oscar buzz, and now he was suddenly on the radar of every major director in Hollywood. But Declan was choosy. He refused to do a movie based on how much money or fame he could gain, and instead chose roles based on the script, producers and director. I don’t know much about Hollywood, but I don’t think there were many actors left like Declan, which made him a nightmare for agents and a godsend for the screen.
I had known Declan since we were kids. His father and mine were friends, which meant Declan and I spent a lot of time together when we were still too young to be shipped off to boarding school. We were not the best of friends until later on in life. Even as toddlers, our Nannies would find us wrestling over toys. I was stuck up and snobby, constantly worrying over what my father might think. Declan was the opposite; constantly getting into trouble and causing fights every chance he had. By the time we reached high school; he had been kicked out of every boarding school his Dad could find, until he finally resorted to private tutors. He had always been a bit of a wild horse, not easily tamed. Acting has calmed him down a bit, but I still wondered if he would ever be fully domesticated. It was one of the reasons I didn’t want to be around him. He reminded me of my past. A past I wanted to forget. A past I was desperately trying not to remind Clare of, and I wanted him gone before he had the chance to show her.