His eyes have widened slightly at my tiny fuming body and foul mouth.
‘You’re a joke!’ I shout in his face, resisting the urge to lash his cheek with my palm. But I do smack him in the chest again. This time my wrists are seized and I’m swung around, my back crashing to his body and my arms secured tightly. His mouth is at my ear, breathing hot, angry bursts of air. I hate the desire ripping through my anger. I hate it.
‘The joke isn’t on me, Olivia Taylor.’ He pushes his lips to my cheek and then bites down, leaving me whimpering in desperation. ‘The joke is on you. You’re the one fighting a battle you cannot win, sweet girl.’
‘I’m stronger than you give me credit for,’ I breathe, clenching my eyes shut, knowing my words carry no strength whatsoever.
‘I’m banking on it.’ His teeth clamp down on my earlobe, sending my backside shooting back and colliding with his groin. I cry out. He growls. ‘I need you to be strong for me.’ I’m spun around and grabbed behind the thighs, then yanked up to straddle his lean h*ps with one easy pull. He thrusts me up against his office door, one of his hands keeping me secured by the back of my thigh, the other slamming into the wood by my head. I don’t even flinch. Nothing will power through the lust attacking every fibre of my being.
His blue eyes search mine for a few moments, taking in every detail of my face, before he crashes our mouths together on a yell. I accept his violent kiss. My hands are a knotted jumble in his mess of waves, my body arching into him as he pushes me up the door on continuous moans and muffled words. While the contact is in one sense soothing me, in another it’s frightening me, bringing back too many bad memories of our hotel encounter. I start to wriggle beneath him, pulling at his suit jacket, but he mistakes my actions for equal impatience and fights free of his jacket, not breaking our fused lips.
‘Miller.’ I turn my face, yet he manages to find my lips again within a nanosecond. Things are getting out of hand and panic’s beginning to flood me. ‘Miller!’
‘You taste so f**king good.’
‘Miller, please!’
‘Fuck!’ he barks, finding the strength he needs to release me, letting me slide down the door before he steps away and wipes his brow with his cuff. He looks dazed. We’re both panting and sweating.
‘This isn’t happening.’ I run and snatch my bag from the floor, then hurry to the door, thinking I need to calm down before I find Gregory.
‘Olivia!’
I swing around, finding him wrestling his jacket on. ‘No!’ I scream. ‘This is it, Miller!’ He didn’t just worship me. If I let this go further, there will be no worshipping. There will be only f**king. He’s been fighting his instincts all this time, and now he’s exhausted, desperate. I take my membership card for Ice from my bag and throw it at him, and then watch as he follows its journey to the floor at his feet. ‘I said you’d never get to taste me again, and I meant it!’
‘I just tasted you, and I want more. I want more hours. A lot f**king more.’
‘You’re ruining my life!’
‘You merely existed before.’ His words are arrogant but his tone soft. ‘I brought you back to life, Livy.’
‘Yes, for another man to taste.’ I get no thrill from the look of horror on his face – none at all. There will be no other man. I’m returning full force to solitary confinement because what I’m feeling right now is total devastation. Empty. Lifeless. No man can fix me, not even Miller.
‘Take that back now.’ He points a warning finger at me. ‘Take it back!’
I remain silent, watching his body heave before me.
‘I know I’m a f**k-up, Olivia!’ His breathing slows, his arm lowering to his side as he takes a moment to compose himself, pulling gently at his shirt, as if he can smooth his temper the same way he smooths his clothes. ‘I’m on my way to hell.’
My bottom lip starts to quiver as I watch his crystal-clear eyes freeze over, a coldness settling around his office that slows my heart.
He steps forward. ‘There’s only one person who can drag me back.’
I choke on a sob but he’s expressionless now. I’m getting nothing, except those chilly eyes. I don’t like it. Is he asking me for help? The OCD, the freakish manners and uptight attitude. The women, the debasement, the nasty f**king and belts and rules . . .
No, I can’t see past it all.
‘I’m not strong enough to help you,’ I murmur. William’s words are spinning in my head, making me dizzy. Miller really is ruined. ‘You’re too damaged.’
I run.
My legs work fast, carrying me away from my distress and a man who I don’t think can be helped at all. By anyone. I navigate the corridors well, my terror fuelling my determination to escape, until I break free of the underground labyrinth of Miller’s club. I’m torn when the exit comes into sight, my head snapping back and forth between that and the openness of the club where Gregory is waiting for me.
I need to find him. I tear through the crowds, bumping and pushing into bewildered revellers, who curse or shout when I send drinks flying and knock bodies back.
I spot Gregory. ‘Where have you been?’ he asks as I come to an abrupt halt in front of him, his confused eyes taking in my pale, sweaty face. Handing me a glass cautiously, his concern soon morphs into anger and the drink is withdrawn, his eyes diverting over my shoulders.
‘I need to leave,’ I wheeze, grabbing his hand. ‘Please, I need to go.’