The evening air while riding the motorcycle was a lot cooler than I had thought it would have been. I shivered and buried my face into Kane’s back to warm my nose and cheeks up. He must have felt me shiver, because he took one hand from the handlebars and placed it on my arms that were clinging to his chest.
While the warmth felt pretty amazing, my eyes grew wide when I finally realized if he was holding one of my hands—then that meant he was driving the motorcycle with only one hand!
“KANE!” I screeched. “You’re going to kill us! Put your hand back up there!”
I could feel the rumble in his chest from him laughing at me.
“I’m serious!” I tried to pull my hand out from under his.
“Kels, believe me. I’ve got this.” He turned his head to look at me behind him.
That didn’t help the unease I felt. If he insisted on driving us with one hand, then by God he would at least keep both eyes on the road.
“Kane, seriously I’m kind of freaking out a little back here. It is my first time being on a motorcycle and all, so if at all possible, could you please at least keep BOTH eyes facing forward?”
Again I felt the reverberation in his chest.
“Stop laughing! I’m glad you find my moments of sheer terror humorous.”
“Chill. We will be there in a minute anyway.”
“And where exactly is there?”
“It’s a surprise, I told you.”
“I don’t really do surprises though,” I retorted.
“I had a feeling you were the type who didn’t,” he responded. “But I’m also the type of person who loves to give surprises, so you will learn to love them … or deal. Either one.”
Great.
We cruised through a neighborhood—which I would have assumed to be one of the richest in town due to the sizes of the huge houses that lined the streets. Kane’s motorcycle roared down the quiet street before coming to a stop in the parking lot of a small park. He pulled the bike into a spot and turned the key. The rumbling beneath me automatically stopped and I sat there for minute trying to let the vibrations in my backside subside before I made any attempt to stand. It was then I noticed I was still clinging to Kane’s chest.
Clearing my throat, I unclenched my fists from his shirt and tried to smooth the wild mess that I knew my hair had to have been. I really should have pulled it back before agreeing to this ride. I had no clue what I looked like at the moment, but what was coming to mind with the small light we were getting from the lamp posts in the park, was that my wild tangles sticking out like snakes were coming off a bit Medusa-esque.
When I finally tamed what I could of my hair, I slid from the bike and waited for Kane to do that same. But he didn’t immediately follow suit. He sat there for a minute just staring off into the tree line.
“I’ve never brought anyone here before,” he almost whispered, and I stood there in silence not really knowing what to say. He finally turned his head to look at me. “I used to come here with my dad from the time I was six. We would always tell my mom we were going to do ‘man stuff’. Then we would usually end up here talking about things like fishing and cars. It always made me feel more grown up, more like a man to be out here just talking with my dad.” He softly laughed before continuing, “As time went on, our talks got to be more serious. We would talk about my future plans and how when I was finally interested in girls, I should respect them and treat them right.”
He dropped his gaze to his feet and pushed a small rock around with the toe of his boot. “I let him down on that last part. I didn’t follow through with how I was supposed to treat women for so long; but I was so caught up in my own self-pity I didn’t care about anyone else but myself. Those girls,” he paused and looked at me. “I’m sure you have heard the stories about me.”
He wasn’t really asking a question, but I nodded anyway. I hated to let him know that I had been clued into the gossip that was Kane Riley; but if he was willing to come clean about his past, then I would be truthful to him. One hundred percent truthful.
“That’s what I figured. I deserve it really. But I promise you, Kelsey, I’m not that way anymore. A few years back when I still belonged to the frat, I hit my lowest point. I was constantly drinking, and if I wasn’t drinking, I was trying my hand at a few drugs. I was sleeping with all these random girls, not even bothering to find out the names before or after the fact. I loathed myself and knew that if I couldn’t even love me, then there was no way I could love anyone else. So I shut myself off from everyone.
When I was fourteen. My parents had decided to go away for a weekend for their anniversary. I had a football game that weekend and I had it in my head that my dad had to be there like all the other dads. So I gave them this huge guilt trip about going away until they decided to leave their trip early and come home. I had stayed that weekend with my grandparents and half way through the game—when I was completely pissed because they still hadn’t made it—I saw a police officer walk over to my Paw. Then I watched as my grandmother’s knees buckled and my paw caught her before she hit the ground. I just stopped playing and stood there and watched what was happening. In that moment I knew my parents were gone… and I knew it was all my fault.”
I wanted to reach out and touch him. The pain in his voice as he completely came clean about everything hurt me to my core. I knew what it felt like to know the loss of a parent and to believe that it was partially your fault they were not here anymore. I also knew that no matter what anyone said, that guilt would stay with you. So I didn’t even try to console him with words. I gathered myself and walked over to him and gently cupped his face in my hands. I placed the lightest kiss on his mouth and when I pulled back, I looked deeply into his eyes.
“Thank you. For being honest with me.” I then took a deep shaky breath. “And because of your honesty, I guess now it’s my turn.”
It had been so long since I had talked about that night. I tried so hard to keep those memories buried deep within me. They usually only slipped out in my sleep. But I knew I needed to do this. I needed to let Kane know about what had happened to me, and what I had done. He had laid it all on the line for me, and I would do the same.
“Before you start, there is something I want to show you.” He finally stood from his bike and took my hand.
He started leading us into the tree line, but this time I didn’t pull away when the darkness engulfed us. I trusted that if Kane had me, everything would be okay. When we made it through the thickest portion of the trees, a small path became visible in the moonlight. Still holding my hand, he slowly pulled me down the path. The wildlife called all around us.