Boy did that get to me. Feeling worthless was my own personal hot button.
"I'm sorry," I mouthed, having no reassurances for him. I couldn't even reassure myself. I could never be what he wanted.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
TO PROTECT HER
PRESENT
STEPHAN
James came to see me on his own one afternoon. He looked at me solemnly for the longest time before he spoke, "Thank you."
I started shaking my head. "You don't have to thank me. She's my family."
"She's my family too, now. And you saved her. Thank you."
I nodded solemnly, studying him.
"You were the one that stopped him. The shot that killed him. Did you know that?"
"Yeah," I said, wondering if I was supposed to feel something other than relief that the monster was finally dead. "I remember."
He shifted uncomfortably in the chair beside my bed. "Let me know if you need any sort of counseling for that. I don't know from personal experience, but I understand that it can take a toll on you, no matter how justified."
"I'll be fine." I took a deep breath. "This wasn't the first time I've killed for her. To protect her. It happened once before."
His eyes went wide, his body still. I'd managed to shock him.
I grimaced. "The first time we met, the man that was attacking her. I caved his skull in. I felt it. That took some time to cope with. I didn't know him, didn't know what drove him. What if he was just crazy? What if the right meds would have fixed him? Looking back at it now, I'm adjusted to it, but it was hard at the time, because I was a kid."
I'm not sure why I felt the need to tell him, but it had always been easy to pour my heart out to him. Too easy to talk to him, even when it had felt like a conflict of loyalties.
"You did nothing wrong."
I just nodded. "What I'm trying to say is, back then, I could have used some perspective, some counseling, to deal with what I'd done, but not this time. This time, I only wish I'd done it the first time I had the chance."
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THE MONSTER
PAST
STEPHAN
Bianca and I had been doing quite well for a while. Longer than usual in the system without any problems. In foster care, both going to the same public school. We'd managed to stay together, which was the important part. We had a roof over our heads and food.
We were staying with a couple that owned a small restaurant, and we both worked there after school. They weren't supposed to make us work, we were too young, but they were keeping us together, so we didn't mind. I bussed tables, did dishes, and Bianca served food.
Neither of us had a problem with the arrangement, usually. Both of us had had to endure so much worse, in the past.
I was a little annoyed with the situation today, though. I'd had to stay after school for a project and wanted Bianca to stay with me.
We didn't like to be apart. Not ever.
But our foster caregivers had needed her to work right after school, so she'd left without me.
It made me antsy, for more reasons than I could name, one of which being that it just felt wrong.
I got out of there as fast as I could manage, hurrying to the restaurant. I went my normal route, using an alley, and cutting directly to the back entrance.
I heard before I saw.
All the times I'd ever fought, all the reasons I'd done it for, I'd never experienced the blind, all-consuming rage I did when I realized what was going on. Not even close.
And it was a fact I had a horrible temper.
I heard some grunts of noise up ahead, folded around a corner, out of sight.
They sounded off. I didn't like them right away. They came from him, I'd piece together later.
If it'd come from her, I would have known instantly, and acted accordingly.
Another noise I didn't like followed quickly, the sound of something punching flesh, a hard hit on a soft target.
I winced. Someone was fighting, and I wondered if I'd have to become involved. It would really just depend on the situation, I mused.
A growl came next, and then a curse from a low, hard, accented voice.
I quickened my step. Something I'd heard had jarred the edge of a memory, enough so that I was starting to react before I processed. To panic before I knew.
And then I heard it, just before I turned the corner. Heard her. Her cry. Her cry of pain.
I broke into a run, making my way around the bend with a few quick strides.
And saw them. Bianca on the ground, her hair trailing into her face as she curled into a ball to protect herself from the next vicious kick. A brute of a blond man standing over her. A monster. The monster. I'd heard enough of a description and saw enough of a resemblance to know it right away.
Her father, come to hurt her.
He never landed that kick
I roared like a maniac and charged.
I hit him in the midsection and took him down. Hard. We fell away from Bianca, clearing her of harm, which had been the point.
I reared back to punch, but his fist met my face first.
He wasn't going to take this lying down, and he was a huge motherfucker.
I wasn't daunted. Hatred fueled me, and hate was impervious to intimidation.
He'd put hands on her. I couldn't stand the thought. All I knew for sure was I'd make him pay. I'd make him hurt. I'd make him regret it.
I tucked my head down and started punching, fast vicious jabs to his gut that were designed to do the most damage. I'd tenderize his insides until he pissed blood for a month.
A meaty fist caught the side of my head, but I just kept hitting and hitting, curses spewing from me. He was huge, and strong, but not fast. I was all of those things and feeling no pain at the moment, to boot.
I'd demolish him, or die trying, I swore then and there.
His next hit caught me in the temple, and I saw stars, but it didn't slow me down. Instead, it set me off.
I took a cheap shot, punching him in the groin.
He yelped like a wounded animal.
I did it again, and again, then went for his face. I held myself up on one arm and did as much damage to it as I could before he managed to stumble away, staggering up to his feet.
I rose to join him. I spat a mouthful of blood on the ground, shrugged my shoulders to loosen them up, and smiled at the bastard.
He shot me an assessing look that held more than an ounce of approval in it. The man respected a good fighter. It was likely the only thing he respected, the piece of shit.