My strong, stoic angel breaking. It was too much. I couldn't stand it.
What had happened? I was afraid to ask.
I was afraid of what I would do when I found out what had brought her to this state.
"Shh, it will be okay," I soothed. "We will survive it, Bianca. Whatever it is, we'll survive it together."
Someone started pounding at the door to her room.
"Bianca, open the door," James shouted, his voice filled with desperation.
I stopped breathing, my vision going red, head filling with a great, vile, black rage.
"We need to talk," he continued. "Don't lock me out. Open the door. Now."
I held her to me, trying to get a handle on myself, on my temper.
He just kept pounding at the door.
We tried to wait him out.
It became too much for her, and suddenly and violently, she ripped out of my arms, flinging herself onto the floor on the far side of the bed.
She folded her legs up to her chest, leaned her head forward, visibly trembling, and began to rock herself.
I nearly lost my mind.
I was at the door flinging it open to glare at James between one breath and the next.
"Don't do that," I bit out. "She doesn't want to see you. Just look at her!"
James tried to move past me, to her, and I met him head on, shoving my shoulder against his hard enough to bruise us both.
"What have you done?" I panted, trying to shove him out the door.
The bastard was strong, though, and I had to settle for pinning him up against the wall.
He stopped pushing at me, as though he'd given up, and I involuntarily let up on him.
He jerked, trying to get out of my hold.
I contained him again, barely.
He made no move to hurt me, instead trying frantically to get to her.
But that wasn't happening. No way.
I'd been avoiding looking at his eyes, and when I finally met them, they were imploring.
"Just let me see her," he pleaded through his teeth. "I just want to make it better. I'm not here to hurt her, Stephan."
That set me off. "You've already done that! Look at her! What did you do?"
No wait. I didn't need to know, shouldn't know, before he left. I'd really lose it then. "You need to leave!"
"I see her," he said, sounding as tortured as I felt. "Bianca," he called out to her. "Just hear me out. That woman was just a friend."
I felt ill, and so enraged I couldn't contain it. I reared back, then forward, driving my fist into his stomach. I'd have kept going, but now I wanted answers, and a few more hits like that would render him unable to give them. "What woman?" I growled, panting into his face.
"Please, just let me go to her. I can't see her hurting like that. It's killing me."
"So leave. You made her like that, and you need to leave. If she wants to talk to you, she has your number."
"Bianca," he tried again, voice breaking.
I slammed him hard into the wall, putting my elbow to his throat. I knew this left my stomach and sides unprotected, but he didn't take the opening. In fact, he made no move at all to hurt me back, only struggling to get around me.
Over my dead body.
"Just say you'll hear me out, Bianca," he told her. "If not now, then later. But promise me you won't just shut me out completely. Promise me, and I'll leave. If that's what you want."
"I give you my word," she said, her broken voice like daggers on my heart, "Just like you did, when you said we were exclusive."
"Fucker!" I roared, landing another vicious blow to his stomach.
The f**ker kept trying. "We were," he gasped. "We are. I never lied to you. I tell you the truth about everything, even when it hurts, because I want you to trust me."
"You said you didn't date," she shot back, a new knot entering her voice, finally some anger to accompany the pain. "That was a lie, since I met your date for tonight."
I cursed, slamming him into the wall. "You bastard," I panted in his face. "You swore to me that you wouldn't hurt her, but I haven't seen her this hurt since the last time her dad got his hands on her."
James went still, then limp, the fight gone out of him. I didn't care. I kept pushing.
The bastard. I'd been so happy to see her finally falling for a guy that I'd pushed her towards it. Towards this.
I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him to bleed. I knew I was just one degree away from losing it completely.
"Bianca, please, you can't just leave me. Just agree to talk to me again, when you feel up to it. I'll let you pick the time and place, but I can't just let you go without a fight."
"Fine, if you'll answer one question for me first." Her voice was stronger now, though the tonelessness of it was worrisome in its own right.
"Anything," he agreed without hesitating.
"First, agree not to come near me, so Stephan can let you go."
"If that's what you want."
I didn't want to let him go. In fact, I wanted to put my hands around his neck and start squeezing, but that desire let me know just how necessary it was for me to get away from him.
Abruptly, I let him go, and began to pace, one wary eye still on him, in case he tried to go near her.
With every step away from him, I realized how far I'd gone. I felt sick. I hated violence, but I couldn't seem to escape it; I was a violent man.
"You can come to my house Monday afternoon, at five. We can speak then." Her voice was firm and steady now. And the more she calmed, the more I regretted losing my temper.
"Sooner, please," James had the nerve to press his advantage. "Waiting until Monday will be pure torture."
She shook her head. "No. Monday. Now answer my question."
He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets, looking as helpless as I felt.
"Have you f**ked Jules?"
"Yes," he answered.
My hands clenched into fists, and I nearly charged him again.
"But it's been a long time," he added.
"When?" Bianca prodded.
"A year, at least. I'm not sure exactly how long."
"Was it just the one time?" Her tone was pointed now.
He shut his eyes. "No. But it never meant anything, I swear."