It’s all for me, because of me. He’s trying to protect me…as usual. Had she not been so wrapped up in her negative imaginations, she might have realized why he was being hesitant earlier.
He looked back at her, their gazes clashing together and holding. “Why the hell else would I object?” Simon asked, perplexed.
She reached out and stroked his cheek with her palm. “Oh, Simon,” she sighed, hating herself for never asking him exactly why he didn’t want a child when they’d discussed it before. She’d been too busy wondering if he was losing his passion for her, if she was less attractive to him now. Her damn post-pregnancy insecurities were getting to her. “I love you.”
His grip tightened convulsively around her waist. “I love you, too. That’s why I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”
Kara’s heart ached as she glanced at his agonized expression. With Simon, everything was black and white: if something would hurt her, he’d do whatever it took to avoid it. “The pain was quickly forgotten as soon as I held Ginny for the first time,” she told him softly.
Simon shook his head, the movements stubborn. “Not for me. Fuck. I still have nightmares about you screaming, of being terrified something bad was going to happen to you. That was the longest day I’ve ever had to live through, and I think that one damn day took years off my life.”
Kara bit her lip to keep from smiling. She’d told Simon many times that if he didn’t stop saying bad words, Ginny was one day going to add them to her limited vocabulary. She hadn’t seen him curse in front of Ginny since she’d told him that, but Simon would never be an angel. He’d been through too much, lived his early life so tough that he was lucky he’d survived, much less become a self-made billionaire along with Sam. The fact that he could still be so sensitive to her needs constantly amazed her. He’d never been able to stand to see her unhappy or in pain. She knew it, but it still astounded her. “You’re an amazing man, Simon Hudson.” Leaning forward, she kissed him softly and backed away again, aware that she was still sweaty and smelly. “I forgot all about the pain very quickly. And those colicky days, the teething and sleepless nights are all part of being a new parent. It’s over. Let it go.” She wanted him to stop tormenting himself. He’d been there with her every step of the way—except for the actual labor pains, and he’d been up whenever she was up with Ginny, even though he’d needed to work the next day.
“It can’t happen again. Not if we have a choice and it doesn’t matter to you if we have another child,” he said gruffly.
“It doesn’t matter. And it won’t happen again. I’m okay with not having another child.” Watching the agony in Simon’s expression had convinced her having just Ginny would be fine. In reality, she could end up pregnant again someday. Birth control was amazingly effective, but there was always a tiny, tiny chance that she could still get pregnant. However, she wasn’t about to remind Simon of that little fact. He’d never get rid of the condoms.
His muscles relaxed, and he shot her a relieved grin. “Thank Christ!”
Her heart lighter, she asked him teasingly. “Are you going to let me take a shower before Ginny wakes up? I smell.”
“It’s not like I haven’t had your sweaty body in my arms before, sweetheart. Except those times were a lot more satisfying,” he reminded her in a graveled voice.
“We were both sweaty.” Kara wanted to remind him that they hadn’t had hot, sweaty sex in a long time, but she didn’t. Did it matter if their sex life had mellowed out when they both loved each other? Having a child was wonderful, but exhausting. Wasn’t it natural for things to change?
“Don’t work out like that again. It’s dangerous,” Simon warned ominously.
“I know.”
“And Ginny isn’t here. Mom and Michael took her for the night.”
Kara gave Simon a shocked look. He rarely let their daughter out of his sight. “Surrounded by security?” Knowing Simon, he’d likely sent an entire army of his security detail to watch over Ginny while she was with his mother and her new husband. Ginny’s grandparents adored her, but Kara was surprised that Simon had relented to an overnight visit.
“There are so many agents with them that their cupboards will be bare tomorrow just from feeding them all,” Simon agreed without remorse.
Kara chuckled. “She won’t like it.” She moved off his lap, and he finally let her go. Helen Hudson was an independent woman who ran her own restaurant and had never allowed her sons to put their security anywhere near her. Even though she’d finally relented and married her live-in boyfriend, Michael, she was still the same kind, feisty woman Kara had always known. And Helen had no problem taking her sons down a peg or two when they deserved it, billionaires or not.
“She’ll have to get used to it if she wants to take her granddaughter overnight. I don’t compromise on security for you and Ginny,” he replied ruthlessly.
Don’t I know it!
She and Simon used to argue endlessly about the legions of security he’d put on her ass. Now, she didn’t bother. She usually had Ginny with her, and she wanted her daughter protected just as much as Simon did. “So we’re alone tonight?” she asked, heat beginning to bloom in her at the thought, realizing they hadn’t had any time together without Ginny since their daughter was born.
“We are,” Simon answered, his eyes smoldering, looking up at her as she stood. “I plan to take my wife out to dinner and spend some time alone with her.”
Kara shivered at the flash of fire in his gaze. “I’ll shower quickly. It will be nice to have a night alone.” Ginny was her heart, but she and Simon hadn’t spent a night with just the two of them together since their daughter had been born.
“Nice? It will be much better than nice, sweetheart,” he growled.
“I hope so,” she whispered to herself as she scurried off to the bathroom, happy that she and Simon had talked about one of the things standing between them right now. They spent so much time talking about Ginny, scurrying from one task to another, that they’d forgotten how to talk about themselves as a couple.
Somehow, I have to tell Simon how I feel about our love life.
Had she really been afraid of how he’d respond, or had she just been too busy being a mother?
I’d trust him with my life. I’ve always trusted him with my feelings, and he’s never let me down yet.