Jewell’s life seemed to become more and more complicated by the minute, and as the party wrapped up and it came time for Justin to return to his foster home, she felt even more unsure of what was coming next than she had even the day before.
Tears filled her eyes as she told Justin goodbye and watched him be driven away. And then she turned to find Blake right behind her. She couldn’t spar with him right now. — she was just too drained.
“I hope you enjoyed your visit with Justin,” he said.
Since she was on the verge of tears, she simply nodded and turned away so Blake couldn’t see the rush of emotions trying to make themselves known.
“He looked happier than I’ve seen him in a while. I can see how much you mean to him,” Blake said as he lifted a hand and moved a piece of hair from her face to behind her ear. The tender gesture just about threw her over the edge.
“We are all we have anymore — just the two of us,” she finally said, her voice quiet.
“That’s not true, Jewell. I’m standing right here.”
“You’re also not real, Blake,” she said, hugging her arms across her body. She felt cold, so cold inside, after all the upheavals of the day.
“I’m very real, Jewell,” he said, and then to prove that to her, he pulled her into his arms and kissed away any protests she might have.
She was locked tightly in his embrace while his lips caressed hers, and though she tried to keep her distance, tried not to let him in, the feel of his tongue on her lip, the feel of his body pressing against hers was more than she could bear.
She melted against him, and for a few brief moments, her worries evaporated, and she let go of the pain and anguish that seemed to be the principal components of her life now. When she was ready for him to carry her off into the nearest private space, he pulled back, placing his hands on her shoulders to steady her while she opened her eyes.
“I will see you tomorrow, Jewell.”
Before she could say anything, he turned and walked away. She was left standing there in shock, and then anger, and then a deep sadness. The man kept doing the same thing, leaving her hanging and walking away.
Jewell managed to make it home, but she didn’t make it far once she did. She collapsed on the nearest couch, where she finally cried herself to sleep.
Chapter Twenty
Jewell stumbled into her bathroom and glared at the image staring back at her from the mirror. “This is not who you are,” she lectured herself. You’ve been through worse in life, and you will not let anything get in the way of your progress. Why in the world are you allowing one person to affect your emotions in this ridiculous way? Well, you’re going to stop right this minute.”
After her face — sadly, she looked only marginally better now — she went off to the kitchen and began her caffeine-centric morning ritual. Why was it such a chore to wake up, no matter how much sleep a person got?
After she’d downed her second cup of nature’s perfect beverage, she heard a stomach-tightening knock. She could think of only two or three people who might be on the other side of her front door, and at the moment she wasn’t in the mood to see anyone.
When the knocking sounded again, this time with a fierce rat-a-ta-a-tat, she knew it would do her no good to pretend she wasn’t home. Peering through the peephole, she spotted Blake leaning closer and wearing a beaming smile. The jerk must have known she was looking out at him, and he was clearly enjoying the shock factor. At least he hadn’t followed his usual M.O. and just barged in.
But they were on a merry-go-round, and she wasn’t quite sure at this point when she was going to be thrown off. But if she wanted her final payment for services rendered, she couldn’t worry about how she was feeling, could she?
Of course not.
“Can we do this later, Blake? I’m not awake enough to go rounds with you right now,” she said through the door.
“Sorry, but no. I don’t feel like leaving, Jewell.”
“Then I guess you can stand out there looking foolish until I wake up.”
“I have all day. As a matter of fact, I have no plans for the next few days.”
“Don’t you get tired of being told your presence isn’t welcome?” she asked.
“Actually, it does get a bit wearing at times,” he said more quietly.
Jewell had to strain to hear him through the door. The honesty in his voice — so rare from a guy who generally seemed to speak in only two registers, arrogance and sarcasm — amazed and affected her.
“Well, if you would listen to me, then I wouldn’t feel the need to say such things,” she told him.
“I’m trying to listen to you, and I’m trying to talk to you. You’re the one who continues to turn all of our conversations into a fight.”
That surprised her enough into opening up the door. She gazed out at him, and when he didn’t try to rush forward and invade her space, she gained a measure of respect for him. She didn’t know what to say next and instead just found herself standing there and staring.
“May I come in, Jewell?” he asked.
“Fine. It’s your place,” she said grudgingly.
“Yes, it is, Jewell, but I’m trying to give you options.”
“Why?”
“Because I want this to be mutually beneficial for both of us.”
Another big surprise! “I need more coffee,” she told him, and then shut her door behind him and led him into the kitchen.
“I spoke with Tyler after the party,” Blake said, but he didn’t continue.
“And what did the two of you talk about?” she finally asked.
Blake paused and a rueful grimace on his lips. “He told me I need to quit acting like an ass.”
Jewell waited and when he again refused to elaborate, she let out an exasperated breath. “If you’re going to just give these short answers, we’ll be here all day.”
“That’s the plan,” he said with the friendliest smile she’d ever seen him wear.
“Does Blake Knight have a twin — a good one?” She didn’t know what to think of this man. He seemed almost…carefree. Yes, when she’d been around him recently, he’d been smiling more and more, but still, this person before her seemed like a completely new man.
“Can’t a person change?”
“It doesn’t happen very often.”
“I’m trying, Jewell. I’ve decided it’s better to listen when more than one person is telling me that the same old Blake isn’t giving ‘customer satisfaction,’” he replied, and he took her hand in his.