“Don’t be silly. What’s going on?”
He strode to the bed and flopped to his back, leaning against the pillows. “I just can’t get Jake out of my head. He’s so young, and he has to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, but he laughs and smiles like all’s well with the world.”
She sat on the bed and crawled over, cuddling against his hard body. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into him.
“You gave him something special to remember today. He met his hero, and you treated him like a normal kid. You were great with him,” she murmured.
“Kids are so resilient and accepting. So much more so than adults,” he said.
“That they are.” She paused then said, “Focus on Jake’s smile.” She was at a loss how else to help him out of his funk.
“How did you get so smart?” He toyed with her hair, combing through the strands and twirling it with his finger.
She let out a sigh. “A lot of practice trying not to focus on bad things, I guess,” she said, surprised she was answering so honestly.
“I want to know more about those bad things. More about you. The things you don’t talk about,” he said in a low, soothing voice.
She knew what he wanted. It was a story she rarely told. Someone had to earn her trust and her heart before she’d even consider admitting that neither of her parents had wanted her. Saying it out loud made her vulnerable, and Madison normally didn’t allow many people that close. She’d kept Alex at a distance the first time they were together, even as she’d known how hard she was falling in such a short time. Because she knew he wasn’t a forever kind of guy, and the truth went to the deepest hurt she nursed in her heart.
But she could no longer hold back from this man. She didn’t want to. He’d been asking for her trust, and if she was going to try, as he seemed to be doing, she had to let him in.
She sighed and said, “My mom left me and my dad. She said she was going to work one morning, and she never came back. When he realized something was wrong, he called her job, her friends, but no one had heard from her.” She shrugged. “We didn’t have any other family that I knew of, so it was just me and him.”
He began to stroke her hair, long, soothing touches this time, keeping them connected as she spoke.
“How old were you?”
“I was twelve, and it was horrible. My father worked really long hours in construction and came home really late. Looking back, I know he went out drinking before coming home. I would let myself into the house after school, make myself dinner with whatever I could find in the fridge or the pantry, do my homework and … cry myself to sleep.”
“Fuck,” Alex muttered.
She was glad he couldn’t see her face and appreciated the strength of his arms wrapped tightly around her. “One day he said we were going clothes shopping. I was really excited because, one, we never ever bought new things, and two, my clothes were getting tighter. I’d started developing and … you know.”
She pulled in a deep breath, the lump in her throat so big it actually hurt. “You’d think this would get easier.” She buried her face against his side.
“Take your time, Angel.” His voice was warm and soothing, but she felt the tension emanating from him.
It wasn’t an easy story to tell. It couldn’t be an easy one to hear. Riley had cried when Madison had told her, and Madison had only given the other woman the bare bones.
My father dumped me at the mall, never to be seen again. The cold, clinical version. And even then, Madison hadn’t wanted to face her friend after the revelation, but Riley had already inserted herself in Madison’s life and wasn’t going anywhere. She, more than anyone, had taught Madison what a true friend really was.
She lifted her head and drew a deep breath. “So we went to the mall. My father bought me a soda, and we wandered around the stores for a little while, and then he asked me if I needed to use the bathroom.” Her body shook despite Alex’s secure hold, the day coming back to her in vivid detail. “I went to the ladies’ room, came out…” She couldn’t say the words. To her mortification, a sob came out instead.
“That bastard,” Alex said, his voice tight, anger evident beneath the surface.
He embraced her with his entire being, holding her close, but fury vibrated in his big, muscled body. Anger for her. She knew it without him having to explain, and the thought that he cared for her enough to feel that kind of emotion undid her completely. The protective walls that had always kept her apart and distant crumbled around her, and she felt things. Things she never wanted to experience again.
“No more,” he said into her hair. “Don’t relive it for me.”
She normally didn’t relive it at all. Didn’t allow herself to remember the intense and all-encompassing pain and loss of that day and every one that followed. But now the dam had broken, and the memories flooded back, along with big, heaving sobs.
She’d walked out of the mall bathroom, looked around, and her dad had been nowhere to be found. She hadn’t panicked. Not at first. She’d checked all the stores they’d been in. The men’s stores. The food court. Finally she’d returned to the bathroom thinking maybe he’d gone back to find her. Some good Samaritan must have noticed the little girl sitting on the floor outside the restroom crying and called mall security. The rest was a blur, along with the ensuing years of her life spent in foster homes.
Alex didn’t know how long she sobbed. From the way she cried, he figured it had been forever since she’d let her emotions free, and she exhausted herself in the process. The heavy sobs quieted first. Long after she grew silent, Alex held Madison in his arms, his heart beating hard in his chest. He’d wanted her to trust him, not unleash this kind of grief. Nausea filled him, along with pain that reached to the depths of his soul.
He stroked her hair, aware of the smallest hiccup or sound she made. Soon her breathing evened out, and he hoped to God she’d fallen asleep. A dreamless, memory-free sleep. She deserved as much.
But he couldn’t stop his mind from spinning with the story she’d told, the things she’d said, and those she’d left out. Knowing about her past and hearing it from her lips were two very different things. More than anything, he wanted to hunt both her parents down and kill them with his bare hands. But he understood his rage wouldn’t do Madison any good, and he’d have to get himself under control before she awoke.