“I know he can. I’m just pissed you had to find out with your face. And don’t tell me—swear jar. I know.” She frowned. “I’ll put a whole damned twenty in there if you tell me what he said.”
“It’s between us,” he repeated. “If I’m going to be a part of your life, you have to trust me. If you don’t trust me enough to handle the situation, then maybe I shouldn’t be here.”
Fury ignited in her gaze, bright and snapping. “Oh? And how did your marriage work out, again?”
He tensed. “That has nothing to do with this and you know it.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
“My marriage ended because she cheated on me with anything that moved and flaunted it in my face. Liked it, even.” He slammed his glass down on the table, angry at the impotence he’d felt creeping up on him without warning. “I think she got off on it. On seeing me suffer.”
She reached for his hand, her eyes soft. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressed you. It’s just hard for me to let go in these situations. You’re asking me to trust you, but you won’t trust me enough to talk about this stuff openly. He’s my son and I’m used to disciplining him on my own.”
He paused. If she let him, he could be here for her. If she stopped pushing him so damn hard, he would be able to steady his course. He sighed and captured her hand, lifting it to his lips to press a kiss to the center of her palm. “We’re down to less than a week to try and see if we have something worth fighting for, Bree. After that time is up, we’ll have to evaluate things. See where we stand. But I’m here now. If you stop pushing me away for the rest of my time here, I’ll try to stop being a closed book.”
“O-oh. Then…I mean, if you definitely want to be here, I’ll try to…”
There she went, getting shy and flustered again. He lingered on the curve of her lashes as they swept to her cheeks; he wanted to kiss her, tumble her back to the couch and finish what they’d started days ago, but he needed to prove to her—and himself—that he wasn’t only thinking with the head between his legs.
He cupped her cheek and smiled. Trailing his hand over her shoulder, he traced a line over the swell of her br**sts. “I’ll try, too. And while I’m trying, I’ll be doing my best to keep my hands to myself. Have I told you how sexy you look tonight?”
“No, but thank you. It’s hard for me, too. But I don’t want to rush and—”
He dropped a kiss on her lips, keeping it soft. Even the tame kiss sent shards of need piercing through him. He pulled back reluctantly. “I know.”
Her cheeks flushed a fetching pink, and her mouth twitched into a half smile. She pulled her hand from his and touched the outer edge of his eye gingerly. “I’m sorry you had to be a casualty of this particular war. Zach and I have been dueling for days.”
“Let me have a talk with him and let him know it’s not okay. We’ll never work this out if we don’t communicate. Don’t think about it anymore, all right?”
He draped his arm across her shoulders and tugged her close. She tensed. Her gaze fell on the empty glass, and she shrugged loose. “Would you like more?”
“No, I’m fine. Thanks.” He sighed and let his arm drop to his side.
She was hardly even paying attention to him. Her gaze focused somewhere else—somewhere he didn’t belong. He followed her line of sight. A picture of her husband rested over the fireplace. The man stared back at him like he always did: condescending and filled with disapproval. It was only a picture, but to Thomas that weight was always there.
He looked away from the picture and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. On the end table next to him was a picture he hadn’t seen before. A teenaged couple dressed for prom. He picked it up and studied it. The boy looked like Michael, which meant the adorable, curvy girl was…
Brianna snatched the portrait from his hand and clutched it tight to her chest, her face nearly purple. “Don’t look at that.”
He pried it from her fingers. “Why not?”
“Because I look horrible. Michael loved this picture, so I had to keep it out. After he died, it felt…wrong to put it away.”
Like hell. Even back then, she’d been lovely. He held the picture under her nose. “Look again. Not horrible. Gorgeous.”
She stared at him. “Are we looking at the same picture? Are we even on the same planet?”
“Yes.” He set the picture down carefully, putting it exactly where it had been.
She stared at him, her eyes brimming. “I won’t lie—he’s still in my head and in my heart. I’ll always miss him and always love him.”
God, could she twist the knife any deeper? Damn it all to hell. He’d been a fool pining for a woman who still loved a dead man. “I get it. I do. It’s fine. You don’t need to say anything else.”
“But I do.” Her voice was heavy. “I still feel for him, yes. I always will. But now you’re here and it’s all jumbling up in my head until I forget what I feel. What I should feel.”
Thomas reached out to clasp her hands. “There is no should. There’s only what you do feel. It’s all right to move on. I can’t speak for Michael but I know I’d want you to be happy.”
“I know. I know he would want me to be happy.” She closed her eyes tightly and clutched his fingers hard enough to hurt. “It’s just confusing. I never expected or hoped to find anyone else.”
She was being so honest and open, and he should do the same. But talking about his past mistakes didn’t come easily to him. He’d spent his whole adult life bottling those things up deep inside of him, leashed and locked behind steel doors. But maybe he should have been dealing with his f**ked-up past instead of ignoring it. Maybe it was time to grow up and stop hiding his pain from everyone.
With Brianna, at least, it seemed as if he could actually do that. She made him want to change. To be better. She deserved better.
He swallowed past his aching throat. “I know the feeling. I got it wrong the first time and figured there was no point in bothering again when the first time was a mistake. I…” He shook his head. “But it wasn’t. It was a lesson. I chose the wrong person to give my heart to. I don’t think I’ll make that mistake twice.”
Her death grip slowly eased. “But I went too fast. Isn’t that a mistake? I should have waited to introduce you to the kids. Taken it slower. I don’t want to rush you.”