“What?” Laura practically screamed. What the hell did he think she was about to say?
“Are you pregnant?” Dylan asked.
A huge stream of air poured out of her lungs, the relief evident in the way her shoulders relaxed, her body poured the worry out through her sigh. “God, no. No!”
Dylan’s face relaxed with relief.
Mike’s collapsed with disappointment.
“Oh!” she said, looking at Mike. “That’s not the reaction I expected.” When had this turned into a conversation about having another baby? She thought she was going to spend the next half-hour convincing them to come to Jeddy’s and talk with Darla’s boyfriends.
He shrugged but said nothing. Dylan turned and gave him an arched eyebrow.
“You want another one? Already? Thirteen months of interrupted sleep, colic, teething, and no time alone with Laura isn’t enough for you? You masochist.”
Laura felt the hair on her arms and neck begin to prickle. The nasty undertone in Dylan’s voice made Mike’s hackles go right up, and she hated when both of them argued. It was rare—most of their sarcastic comments were tossed back and forth in jest—but this one had so many layers to it that Laura felt a dangerous sense of calm pour over her, one of those moments when everything you know can turn on a dime.
“And what about the pure joy of watching our daughter come into the world, of cutting the umbilical cord and watching her settle on Laura’s chest, of smelling her little baby head and being the only one who knows how to rock her the exact right way to get her to sleep? And the sleepy milk burps that always came with a happy smile afterward? Watching her grin at you, her eyes lighting up when you held her? What about snuggling with her on the couch and knowing that you’d helped to make an entire human being, a new life that will go out into the world and make it a better place if you raise her right?” Mike’s words flowed over Laura like a waterfall. He’d never—ever—spoken for so long or with such emotion.
Dylan’s jaw hung quite low.
Mike went on. “When she crawled, we all cheered. When she took her first bites of solid food, we were there. When she started saying ‘Mama,’ we were jealous.”
“You were?” Laura interrupted.
Both men looked a bit embarrassed. “We’d read in the baby books that ‘Dada’ was more commonly the first word, so…” Mike explained.
“I half expected her first word to be ‘Jeddy’s’ or ‘Madge,’ because we took her there so much,” Dylan added.
Laura squashed a laugh because Mike’s eyes were blazing. He wasn’t done yet.
“And now Jillian is babbling and happy and wandering around on those fat little legs, arms in the air, so curious about the world and open and eager. She’s the best teacher and the most wonderful embodiment of pure love I have ever seen in my entire life.” Mike’s voice was choked with emotion, eyes glistening, and Laura stood, went to him, and gave him a hug.
“So yeah,” he ended with a ragged sound, “I would love another one.” Mike pulled away from the hug and, with soulful eyes, regarded Laura tenderly. “Not until you’re ready, of course. But if you did tell me you’re pregnant, I would be thrilled.”
“Shit!” Dylan shouted. “We’re late!” All three of them turned to look at the clock, and Laura made a squealing sound of alarm. He was right. There was no need to clean the cabin—Mike’s resort crew would handle that—but they did need to tidy and bring their own belongings out of there. The cabin was used, occasionally, by resort guests (sex items were carefully removed), so they had to do a quick check of everything and get out.
Five minutes later, Laura marveled at how quickly they had all acted, and as the Jeep rumbled down the rutted dirt road back to their home, she let Mike’s words rattle around in her head. It wasn’t that she didn’t want another baby—she was an only child and had always wanted siblings, and was determined to give Jillian at least one. Right now, though, she didn’t feel ready. Maybe in a year? There really wasn’t a timeline.
Mike didn’t demand an answer, and Dylan was in the back seat alone right now, staring out the window, his jaw locked so hard it might as well have been a safe at Gringot’s.
He clearly wasn’t ready for more. She knew he adored Jillian—loved her to pieces, in fact—but she also understood what he had said. Being bone-weary and at the constant ready to attend to a child’s needs in its first year was an experience she would rather not relive right away. And pregnancy! The joy of swelling with new life, the feel of a growing baby inside her—that was all amazing.
The ballooned legs, the polyhydramnios she’d experienced, and all the aches and pains, along with morning sickness, made her want to be pregnant again about as much as she wanted to listen to Josie talk about data plans for the office.
“There’s no rush, is there?” she said softly, not quite realizing the words were out of her mouth until they were. The sound of the Jeep’s tires on the rocky road may have covered her voice, because maybe Mike didn’t hear her.
But he did.
A slow smile split his lips, cheeks shining with a warmth she loved so much. He patted her knee. “No. Never a rush. I’m not really ready, either. But if you were pregnant right now, my reaction wouldn’t be negative.”
“I just don’t think—”
He squeezed her knee gently. “Just tell me you want Jillian to have a sibling.”
“Of course I do! You know I’ve always wanted at least two. I don’t want her to be an only child.”
He nodded. “I know. We’ve talked about it. I just…needed to hear it again.” His eyes flicked over to her and then returned to the unstable road, but in that split second of eye contact she saw all she needed.
Love. So much love a pair of eyes couldn’t hold it all.
And maybe one child couldn’t hold it all, either, though that thought seemed so silly to Laura. Of course one child could be enough. It had been enough for her mother. For plenty of people.
But not Mike, it seemed.
A cold thought of such alarming clarity hit her between the eyes. It felt like a tiny little pinprick of pain so startling it traveled down to her heart.
Another baby.
Was Mike afraid Jillian wasn’t his, and that was why he wanted more? Was this about jealousy or competition, or…something unnamed?