“Oh no.”
She smiled a little. “Honestly, he seemed more worried about my reaction. But he said he knows Max, and if he’s promised he’ll be with only you, he will. Good thing, because if he hurts you he’ll be one appendage short, if you know what I mean.”
“That’s not the problem,” I said. “Which I realize is ironic because”—I pointed to my chest—“hello, cheated on for six years straight. What bothers me more is that I didn’t want to want someone. This was supposed to be for me. And what if he likes me because I’ve been clear about what I don’t want from him. I’ve given him a goal: make me want him. I don’t think he’d ever admit that, maybe he’d never even realize it, but I worry that he’s not used to someone setting limits with him. That might be the lure: the challenge.”
She shrugged and spread her hands in front of her. “I’m the first to tell you that there’s a first time for everyone, and everything. Have you told him how you feel?”
There was a crash from the outer office, followed by George’s frantic shout of “Incoming!”
Max burst through the door, George hot on his heels.
“Does he ever listen?” George asked me.
“Not usually,” Max answered, stopping short when he saw the paper already in my hands. “You’ve seen it.”
“Yep,” I said, tossing it to the desk.
He crossed the room, his expression grim. “Look, it’s not a very good picture, I doubt—”
“It’s fine,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear. “I—”
“Well, I wouldn’t say fine,” Chloe interrupted, rounding the desk. She crossed her arms and stood between us. “I’ll agree it’s not the best picture, but I knew it was you. Bennett, too.”
“As did I,” George volunteered, hand raised.
“Why are you even still here?” I asked, glaring. “Go to work.”
“Touchy,” George said, pushing away from the wall.
“Well, well.” At the sound, every head in the room turned in the direction of the door. “Glad everyone could make it,” Bennett said as he walked in, looking like he’d won the biggest, most ridiculous man-bet of all time. “Nice photo, Stella. A bar?”
I felt my eyes go wide. “What, the eighteenth-floor stairwell would be better?”
His head whipped to Chloe. “Seriously, Chlo? You told her that?”
“Of course I did.” She waved him off with an impatient hand, and beside her, Max laughed.
“You did that, Ben? Shagged your intern at work?”
“A few times,” Chloe said in a stage whisper.
Max rubbed his palms together, obviously delighted by this turn of events. “How very, very interesting,” he said, eyeing Bennett. “Funny you didn’t mention this when you were basically calling me a whore the other day.”
“Oh, that’s rich. Pot, meet kettle,” Chloe said, motioning between the two men.
“And I’m done here,” Bennett grumbled. “Max, stop by my office before you leave.” He gave Chloe a quick peck on the lips before walking out of my office.
Chloe turned to Max. “I want to know what it’s like to work with your mother when this kind of news hits the papers. Did she freak out?”
Max shrugged. “She pretends I don’t have an active libido. It’s better that way.”
“What are we even talking about?” I groaned. “Chloe, I love you but get out of my office. George!” I yelled.
He poked his head in within a few milliseconds of hearing his name.
“Stop listening in. Take Chloe down to the break room and buy her some chocolate.” I finally met Max’s eyes. “I need to talk to Max alone.”
Chloe and George disappeared down the hall and Max shut and locked my office door. “Are you livid?” he asked, wincing.
“What? No.” I sighed, dropping into my chair. “If I remember correctly, I jumped you. I believe you even warned me not to.”
“True,” he said, flashing his dimple in a smile as he lifted the photo up. “But I also come out of this looking quite good. I mean, the back of this head can only belong to a ridiculously fit woman.”
I tried to bite back my laugh and failed. He bent so that we were eye to eye. “We’re together a lot, Sara. It’s just a matter of time before we’re photographed.”
I nodded. “I know.”
He straightened, looking out my window with a dramatic sigh. “I suppose we’ll have to confine our snogs to bedrooms and limos now.”
He said this with a smirk, but something twisted in my belly, and not because I was averse to the idea of Max in a bed. It’s just that I wasn’t done having Max everywhere else.
I’d wanted to hold on to this New Sara a little longer.
“That doesn’t look like a happy face,” he noted.
“I like what we do.”
His face fell the slightest bit. “The wildness of location?”
I nodded. “Just feeling like I could do anything I wanted with you.”
He paused, seemed to be thinking something through. “That doesn’t have to change, Sara. Regardless of where I have my wicked way with you.”
I smiled. “I know.”
“But you realize if we continue that, and I’m not averse, it’s possible we’ll eventually be caught.”
He was right, and the reality of it was enough to make my hopes shut down a little.
“We’ll figure it out,” I said, but even I heard my lack of conviction.
“Sara, it’s possible to have fun even with more standard relationship rules.”
I nodded, and gave him as convincing a smile as I could manage. “I know.”
But the truth was, I didn’t know. I only knew that I didn’t want what I had with Max to resemble any bit of the life I had before.
Fourteen
At three in the morning, I woke up with such an absurd idea I was immediately positive I should go get a shot of whiskey so I could fall back asleep.
But I didn’t get up, and I didn’t have a shot, and I most certainly didn’t go back to sleep.
I was up half the night, my mind spinning over what to do with Sara’s paradoxical need to remain a secret yet still explore her wilder side with me. Admittedly, she’d been more relaxed than I expected about the photos in the Post, but we’d been lucky, and they hadn’t actually gotten her face or anything too telling. Anything more revealing could turn her skittish, if that hadn’t happened already. I could tell she had feelings for me beyond the adventure of public orgasms and our shared exhibitionist fetish, but that was a far cry from anything lasting, and miles away from what I felt about her.