She’d charmed the staff and had settled into her new position as if she’d been born to it. And in a way, he supposed, she had. She was a Jarrod, after all. Which was the major problem for him.
If she weren’t a member of the Jarrod family, he wouldn’t be doing his best to ignore her.
Stopping by her office, he knocked, then walked inside to find her hunched over her keyboard, gaze fixed on the screen. Even here, he thought, when she was unaware that anyone was watching her, she looked…alluring. Her hair was tucked behind her ears and long, twisted shards of gold hung from her lobes. She was chewing at her bottom lip as her fingers flew over the keys and didn’t look away even when she reached out blindly for a cup of coffee on her desk.
She’d given herself up to this job. This place. She’d jumped in with both feet and, true to her word, was definitely making a place for herself.
He wished that place was with him. But damned if he could see a way to make that happen.
As if she sensed his presence, Erica looked up then. Backlit from the window behind her, her amber eyes were shadowed, but he could still see the trepidation on her features as she looked at him. “Hi. Was there something you needed?”
“Loaded question,” he muttered, then said more loudly, “Actually, yeah. There is. I wanted to know if you approved the design for the gala’s setup on the main lawn.”
“Yes, I did. I sent the papers over to Trevor this morning.”
“Fine. I’ll check with him again. He couldn’t find them earlier, but that’s not saying anything. He probably misfiled them.”
She smiled slightly. “That does sound like Trevor.”
“You like him,” Christian said.
“It’s impossible not to,” Erica told him as her smile slowly slipped away. “He’s got this flair for living that I really admire. He is who he is and makes no excuses for it. He simply lives and enjoys every minute of it.”
Christian stiffened a little at the inherent comparison between himself and the easygoing Trevor Jarrod. “Trying to tell me something?”
She glanced up at him and shook her head, her soft hair swinging in a gentle arc that made Christian want to reach out and bury his fingers in the softness. “No, Christian, I’m not. I think we’ve already said everything there was to say.”
“Impossible,” he told her, walking toward her desk. “We couldn’t have, because there’s still too much unsaid between us.”
“And it should probably stay that way,” she said.
“Maybe,” he agreed, reminding himself that it was he who’d put up the wall between them. He had been the one to take the first step back from what they might have found. And though it infuriated him to acknowledge even privately that she might have had a point when she accused him of being unwilling to face up to a dead man’s wishes…she hadn’t been far wrong.
If Don Jarrod were still alive, it would be different. He could go to the man, tell him how he felt about Erica. Make the old bastard see that she was right in saying that the fraternization clause was medieval. But with Don gone, the board of directors was in charge, and with the codicil in Don’s will insisting that the clause remain in effect, they wouldn’t be making changes anytime soon.
And how the hell could he go to the Jarrod siblings and insist that they change it? He couldn’t be sure that they wouldn’t side with their father.
Christian felt as if his hands were tied and his heart was being ripped in two. What he wanted was vying desperately with what he’d spent his life working for.
“Let’s not do this again, Christian,” she said quietly as she stood and came around her desk. “At the very least, we can stop torturing each other.”
He tucked his hands into his slacks pockets to keep from grabbing her. God, he missed the feel of her pressed against him. The taste of her. The scent of her. He was making himself crazy with wanting her.
Then she reached up and smoothed his hair back from his forehead and the soft slide of her fingertips against his skin sent flames rushing through him. He inhaled sharply, deeply, and she instantly let her hand drop to her side again.
“Sorry,” she said with a shrug she no doubt meant to look nonchalant. “As angry as I am at you, it seems I still have to remind myself not to touch you.”
“I know the feeling all too well,” he admitted, calling on every ounce of his will to keep from holding her and damn the rest of the world. Screw his job. Screw the Jarrod family. Screw Don Jarrod in particular for creating this hell for the two of them.
“I guess we’ll just have to work on it, won’t we?”
“Right.” He nodded, but it cost him. “I’ll just go check with Trevor about those papers.”
“I’ll go with you,” she said. Tugging her white, long-sleeved shirt down at the hem, she smoothed her denim skirt.
Her legs looked long and tanned and her feet were tucked into dark blue heels that made her legs look even longer. Hell, she didn’t even have to try to make him crazy.
Erica walked past him into the hall and he fell into step beside her. Blake and Gavin were standing near the elevator, locked in a conversation that was suddenly halted when they drew near.
“Hey, guys,” Christian said. “What’s going on?”
Blake shot Erica a wary look and said, “Nothing. Just talking. What’re you two up to?”
Erica said, “Just checking on some paperwork with Trevor.”
“Right. Well.” The elevator door opened and Blake stepped in. “We’ll see you later.”
As the doors whisked closed again, they both heard Gavin say, “For God’s sake, Blake, lighten up with Erica, will you? She’s not the enemy.”
“That went well,” Erica said wryly as they continued on to Trevor’s office.
“Blake will come around.” Christian took her arm and pulled her to a stop. “It’s a big change for everyone.”
She looked down at his hand on her arm until he released her. Then she shifted her gaze to his. “I don’t mind Blake’s feelings. At least he’s honest.”
Heading into Trevor’s office alone, Erica didn’t look back at him. So she didn’t see Christian’s dark scowl as he was left standing alone.
The main spa room at the Ridge was so opulent it was nearly decadent. Which made it perfect. A curve of aquamarine water followed the circumference of the room. Jets built into the walls of the pool produced frothy bubbles of pure relaxation and the only sounds were from the jets and the rhythmic splash of the overhead waterfalls spraying heated water down into the waiting pool.
Erica felt loose and limber and almost guilty for taking an entire day to do nothing but be pampered. Still, since it had been Melissa’s idea to have a quiet day of sisterly bonding, Erica thought she could let the guilt go just this once. Besides, after the long week she’d had, it felt good to just relax, away from the Manor, away from Christian.
“You’re seriously making us all look bad,” Melissa told her with a sigh. “I mean, really, you don’t have to be Jarrod Family Member of the Year right off the bat.”
Erica smiled and hid the hurt that seemed to be a constant companion. Yes, she was making great strides at her new job. Her brothers and sister were coming around—she’d even managed to talk to Blake without him glaring at her. And she’d had dozens of compliments on her plans for the splashy welcome she’d designed for the opening of the gala.
For the first time in her life, Erica felt as though she was being accepted for who and what she was. For what she could contribute. And it felt great.
Or would have, if there wasn’t a shadow clinging to her thoughts. Christian hardly spoke to her anymore. Not since that last kiss they’d shared in her office a week ago. She saw him at the Manor, of course. The offices were all too close together for them to completely avoid each other.
Though that might have been easier all the way around. How much harder was it to see him and not be able to touch him? Talk to him? But she refused to be the kind of woman who threw herself at a man when he had already made it clear that there couldn’t be anything between them.
“Okay, what’s wrong?”
“Hmm? What?” Erica jolted as she realized her thoughts had wandered off while Melissa was talking to her. “Nothing. I’m just thinking about work.”
“Uh-huh.” Melissa shook her head and reached out to pat Erica’s shoulder.
The two of them had indulged in a luxury spa treatment. They’d already been through the facials, the massages and now, they were stretched out side by side in the narrow curve of the pool, relaxing. Or they were supposed to be.
“I know that look,” Melissa said. “And it’s not a ‘work’ look. It’s a ‘man’ look. So spill.”
She automatically shook her head. She’d never been one to share secrets with her girlfriends and there was simply no way she wanted her new sister to know that she was lusting after a man who wasn’t interested. “I really don’t think—”
Melissa gave her a dramatic pout. “What’s the point of having a sister if you can’t bare your soul and get free advice—or sarcasm, as the situation demands.”
In spite of everything, Erica smiled. It did feel good to have a sister. Even two weeks ago, she never would have believed that she’d be able to use the words “my sister” in a sentence. Yet here they were, and astonishingly enough, the two of them had actually formed a bond that Erica hoped would only get stronger with time.
Sister wasn’t just a word anymore. It was real. And it was good.
“Okay,” she said, and glanced around to make sure they were still alone.
“Relax. The place is ours for the afternoon. I run the spa, remember?”
“Right.” Erica lifted one arm and slid it through the water, letting the jetted bubbles pulse against her skin. “Okay, say there was a man I’m having a problem with.”
“Yes, let’s say that.” Melissa leaned back and floated, allowing more of the jets to beat against her body. “Now let’s say some more.”
“Okay, this man, he’s interested, but he’s not willing to get involved.”
“What’s his problem?”
“It’s a long story,” Erica said, not wanting to give Christian’s name or his reasons for pulling back from her. She wasn’t sure if they knew about the fraternization clause.
“One you don’t want to share.”
“Not exactly.”
“Is he married?”
“No! of course not!” Erica frowned at the other woman. “If he was, I wouldn’t be making myself nuts over him.”
“Okay, so do you want this man?”
“Yes, damn it.”
Melissa laughed. “So go get him. Or at least try.”
“What about dignity?” Erica countered. “Pride? Am I supposed to chase him down like a dog with him protesting the whole time?”
Straightening up, Melissa shook her wet hair back from her face and gave Erica a pitying look. “Little sister, men are simple creatures. He wants you. That’s the point here. He’s trying to stay away for whatever reason, but he doesn’t want to. So make it a little more difficult for him to ignore you. For heaven’s sake, why would you make it easier on him?”