Her senses sang to life begging for more of this, of everything. “I really should keep my head clear to listen for Nina.”
And to be sure she didn’t get soused and claim her marital rights.
“One glass then?”
She couldn’t resist everything. “Chardonnay, then, please.”
He filled her wineglass halfway, then poured the merlot into his. He held her eyes with his while she tasted. Damn. There was a difference in the good stuff. How much of this would it take to ruin her for cheap wine for the rest of her life?
He set his glass back on the table. “I’m sorry about the mix-up with Lucy at the courthouse.”
Phoebe tucked her tongue against her cheek while she considered what to say. She was upset, but probably not for the reason he thought. And she couldn’t change anything. Better to take the high road. “You have nothing to apologize for. It’s not like you were seeing some other woman while we were engaged for all of twenty-four hours.”
She tried a smile, hoping the conversation would veer away from the woman.
“You’re being very reasonable.” He watched her through narrowed eyes.
“Did you expect me to throw a jealous fit? I seem to recall you already warned me against falling in love with you.” She leaned forward on her elbows. “I’m a very good listener.”
He threw his head back and laughed, that sexy sound of pure Kyle winding around her with the wind. “Just so you know, the wedding ring on your finger put an end to my friendship with Lucy.”
“I noticed how fast she ran out of the elevator.”
“I meant that as long as you’re wearing my ring, I won’t be seeing anyone else.”
Now, that surprised her…If she could even believe him. “Bianca warned me you were a charmer.”
His face hardened for the first time since she’d met him. “You think I’m BS-ing you? I may have a lot of flaws, but I do not lie.”
“You really expect me to believe you’re going to be celibate for the entire marriage? For a whole year?” She wondered how long he really expected that to last? Did he have plans to walk away that she didn’t know about?
“Aren’t you? What makes you think I have less self-control than you do?”
She opened her mouth—and closed it again. She didn’t have an answer to that. And truth be told, as much as she cautioned herself against being gullible, she believed him on this one. Phoebe nudged aside her soup and stabbed the steak.
He swirled his merlot in his glass, watching her. “Celibacy doesn’t make for much of a wedding night.”
“I don’t know about that.” Although just the mention filled her mind with what the night could have held. Had he chosen his words with that intent? “Nina is safe for now. That means the world to me.”
He finished off his merlot. “What about when Bianca shows up again?”
The bite of steak palled in her mouth. She swallowed thickly. “I only want the best thing for Nina. That would be to have her parents’ love and want to take care of her.”
“Even if that means giving her up?”
Her fork clattered against her plate. “Are you threatening to take her away?”
His one-sided smile returned with a dry twist. “Hardly. You’re a terrific mother. But me? Ask anyone and they’ll tell you I’m a crappy candidate for fatherhood.”
Curiosity nipped.
“You say you’re always honest, so tell me. What do you have against children?”
“Why would you say that?” he asked evasively. “Marianna and Sebastian have never voiced any complaints about me with kids.”
“You pick Nina up, you carry her, even play with her, but you’re always holding something of yourself back. I know it’s early yet, but it seems like you distance yourself from her.”
Kyle attacked the rest of his steak. “That’s just your imagination.”
She reached across the table and touched his wrist, stilling his hand. “I’ve heard too much about acting from Bianca over the years not to have picked up something. You’re good, but you can’t fool me.”
He stared at her fingers for two crashes of the waves before setting aside his fork. “Little Edward isn’t my brother’s first child. They had a baby girl before Edward, but lost her before her first birthday.”
She gasped. “How awful.” Her heart ached for the lovely woman who’d been so kind to her. “I can’t imagine how devastated I would be if something happened to Nina.”
“Sophie didn’t die.” But his face still creased with pain. “They’d tried for years to get pregnant, then decided to adopt. Four months after Sophie was placed with them, the birth mother changed her mind. They went through hell.”
She’d assumed the extra portraits of children that didn’t look like Landises were the grandchildren of Ginger’s second husband. Now she realized one of the little-girl images must have been that adopted daughter. So that’s why Marianna had noticed she loved Nina as much as any biological mother could. “I’m so sorry for what they went through.”
“The birth mother sends them periodic updates and Sophie looks happy.”
As she studied his pained expression, she realized it wasn’t totally about hurting for his brother. He’d loved the little girl, too, and grieved when she was taken away. She stayed silent so he could just talk.
“My brother and his wife may be happy now, but after all they went through…” He shook his head slowly. “They even divorced at one point. My brother is a steady sort, good marriage material. Me? Not so much, even on a good day.”
His line of logic wasn’t going where she’d expected. She struggled to follow. “You’re afraid of letting your family down?”
“I would do what I have to, but I saw from my sister-in-law, from my mother, too, how much more is needed to make a marriage and family work. I’m not cut out for that.”
She almost blurted out her disbelief at his assumption, told him that he was copping out, but held the words back at the last second. He said he didn’t lie to people, and maybe strictly that was true. But she suspected he was lying to himself. Men weren’t always great at admitting their fears, especially if one fear involved turning his heart over to a child. “You’re really content to live your life alone?”
“I have a big family around me, and a satisfying career. I have a good life.”
“You seem to be forgetting one thing.”
“I’m sure you’ll tell me.” At least his smile returned. He held her gaze over the candlelight, the flame flickering inside the hurricane globe and casting flecks in his beautiful blue eyes.
She touched his wrist again, lingering, feeling his pulse throb against her thumb. “You can’t escape the fact that you’re already a father.”
His eyes locked on hers. Intense. Inscrutable. Her fingers stroked along his wrist when she’d meant to let him go.
“And you’re a wife.”
He stood slightly, leaned across the small table and she knew what was coming but couldn’t find words to stop him from—
Kissing her.
His mouth fit over hers, more familiar this time, but the tingle showering along her nerves was still surprising in its intensity. She’d hoped her reaction at the courthouse had been an anomaly, some kind of mixed-up reaction to memories from her first marriage, but damn, she fit her mouth against his and wanted. More.
She parted her lips and he growled his approval until she could taste the rich bouquet of his merlot. His hands stayed on the table, her fingers around his wrist. He only touched her with his mouth, his tongue. The spicy soap scent of him stirred around her in the breeze, reminding her of the moment when she’d first met him and his voice stroked her senses as, temptingly, his mouth moved on hers.
She should pull away, prove she was strong and resolute the way she’d planned this afternoon. Phoebe lifted her hands to push against his shoulders.
But he pulled away first.
Her head swam and she couldn’t even blame it on the drink, because he had honored her request to stick with one glass. Her only consolation came from watching his chest rise and fall as rapidly as her own. She needed to get her head together. She refused to let him win her over easily as he must have done with women in the past, like Bianca and Lucy.
Phoebe drained half her water goblet while he reclaimed his seat. She had to think. Focus on what was important.
She had to keep her head clear and her wits about her at all times. She hoped this dinner would be over soon so she could start figuring out how to deal with her desire. “Um, when do you report back to your base?”
“I’ve already finished up all the paperwork.” He watched her, his chest still pumping. “It’ll be official next week.”
“So you’re on vacation.” And when would that vacation end? She wasn’t even sure where his base was. She was married to a stranger, a totally hot stranger who turned her inside out with his kisses. The mere thought rattled her, leaving her feeling disloyal to her ex. “Rest is a good idea after such a long deployment.”
“I’m not on vacation.” He straightened in his chair, his eyes narrowing. “I’ve turned in my papers now that I’ve fulfilled my commitment to the air force. We were going to announce it after the party. But then you showed up with Nina, and we’ve been distracted since then.”
A roar started in her ears, her pulse louder than the waves rushing in with inevitability. “What exactly does this mean?”
“As of today, I’m no longer in the military. I’m taking over a branch of the Landis Foundation.” He spread his hands wide. “As of now, I’m totally at your disposal.”
An hour later, Phoebe stood in Nina’s new nursery, toying with the decorative silk slippers tacked to the wall. Control slipped away as fast as the tears down her cheeks.
What had she gotten herself into?
Swiping the back of her wrist under her eyes, she looked into Nina’s crib at the sweet baby she loved so much. Phoebe adjusted the light blanket, smoothed back a dark curl…saw Kyle’s one-sided smile as the infant grinned in her sleep.
Life was marching relentlessly on without her first husband. Her emotions had spiraled so far out of control she didn’t know how she would ever retrieve them. Now Kyle and all the myriad temptations he presented would be with her twenty-four/seven as she settled into a family life she’d never had and that Kyle clearly didn’t want.
She touched along her kissed-tender lips and searched back over their few conversations prior. What had she misunderstood to make her believe he was still in the air force, due to zip off into the wild blue yonder sometime soon? Maybe she’d just heard and believed what she’d wanted to where Kyle was concerned, desperate for a way to secure Nina’s future. She hadn’t looked beyond that to understand all the ways she could be hurting both their hearts to put them through this sham of a marriage.
Now it was too late to go back. She could only steel herself, forge ahead.