He winked. “Do you really want the answer to that question?”
“Uh, no, let’s keep the mystery alive.”
Realising Cooper was right, and it was actually lunch time, I smirked to myself. Time flies when you were having fun. I pulled the milk from the fridge and flicked on the kettle.
“What are you smirking about?”
I arranged my face in a blank expression and turned around to grab some mugs before moving back to the fridge. “What are you talking about? Where’s Jake?” I deflected.
“He’s still asleep,” Cooper replied.
I peeked furtively from the opened fridge door and saw Jared sitting out on the back deck chair, phone glued to his ear. I knew everyone caught the kiss last night, but as long as everyone remained ignorant, there was no need for them to know how quickly things had progressed. I made a mental note to tell Henry to keep his mouth shut.
Cooper, not buying my blank expression, was watching my actions intently, taking in my flushed expression and shifty behaviour. He followed my line of sight.
I flinched as he leaped off the seat, pointed at me, and squealed like a girl.
“Oh my God, you guys did it!”
“Jesus! Did you put your girl pants on today?” I hissed. “Keep it down.”
Frog did a full swivel on the couch so his arms were resting over the back in order to watch our exchange. He wagged his eyebrows at me. “Wow, Evie, finally. Does Macklewaine know?”
I grabbed the bacon and eggs out of the fridge in a panic, slammed them on the bench, and whirled to point my finger warningly at the pair of them. “If you so much as breathe –”
“Does Mac know what?” I heard shouted from the front door, interrupting my important warning.
Mac was home. Impeccable timing as usual.
“Keep your mouths shut,” I hissed.
I shifted to the walk-in pantry to get the bread and sauce out when I heard Cooper wasting no time informing Mac of recent events.
“Jared and Evie did it.”
Jesus, this was like high school.
I heard a loud squeal, and I felt a shove from behind. I turned around to see Mac crowding me into the pantry as she shut the door behind her.
Everything went dark.
“Mac! What the fuck?”
I scrambled for the light switch, and it stayed on long enough for me to catch the euphoric gleam in her evil eyes before the bulb blew.
“Shit,” she muttered. “Why the f**k does the pantry light always blow?”
“Maybe because it knows you’re up to evil deeds.”
“Evil deeds?” she returned.
“Yes, locking me in the pantry is hardly the stuff of―”
“Whatever. Apparently, shit has gone down while I’ve been shopping and I want details.”
“Shopping?” I squeaked, aiming for deflection. “You went shopping without—”
“Shut. Up.”
“Talk, shut up, talk, shut up.” My stomach growled painfully. “I don’t suppose this can wait until after lunch?” I asked hopefully.
Mac tinkled an evil laugh in answer. I was fading from hunger. I reached for a shelf and hung on tight before I fainted at her feet. In the interest of food, I gave up and laid it out really fast. There wasn’t much to say anyway except we did it, and now I was off to the doctors for the pill at some stage this afternoon. I still needed to make that appointment. How long did it take to get pregnant anyway? I didn’t mean for the last part to slip out. I could really relate to that Snickers commercial right now: You’re not you when you’re hungry.
“Oh my lord.” Mac breathed. “I’m going to be an aunty!” she finished on a yell.
“Jesus, Macface, don’t get carried away. We had unprotected sex once, okay, twice.”
I winced, knowing I had opened up a whole new avenue of shopping heaven. Frilly baby pink dresses with bows and ruffles, pinafores, booties, hanging fairy mobiles. If it wasn’t so dark, I'd see all that and more flashing across Mac’s face.
“Oh, Sandwich.”
Somehow finding me in the darkness, she yanked me towards her and squeezed me in a hug. “I’m so excited and happy for you. It’s going to be perfect. Trust yourself just this one time, and I promise you it will all be worth it.”
Tears pricked my eyes at her sudden kindness. I wasn’t used to it. “We’ll see,” I muttered. “Now let me out of here so I can eat something.”
Mac opened the pantry door and shoved me out, bread and sauce in my arms. Everyone was sitting around in the lounge room talking, and by everyone I meant Henry, Frog, Cooper, and Jake who had conveniently woken up and come over. Travis and Coby were there to collect Jared and go do whatever it was that they did. Dining room chairs had been pulled over to complete the huddle.
I took a moment to hope they were discussing the Jimmy Farrell knife wielding incident rather than updating on the morning's events.
Conversations ceased and all eyes swivelled to me as I burst out of the dark pantry, wincing as the sudden light burned my eyes.
“So,” Mac shouted cheerfully from behind me as she boogied over to the kitchen counter and started pulling bacon rashers out of the packet. “Who’s up for a bacon and egg sandwich?”
Jared ignored Mac’s question, instead asking me if I’d managed to make the doctors appointment yet.
“The doctors?” Coby interjected.
“Not yet. I’ll do it in a minute and let you know what time we need to go,” I said as I got a pan out of the cupboard.
“What time we need to go?” Coby echoed.
“What is going on?” Henry shouted over the top of everyone.
Mac laughed delightedly. “Evie’s having a baby!”
Mac, it seemed, had a death wish.
I gave her a look that promised payback was a bitch while everyone in the room froze. Except for Jared, who was looking at me with what appeared to be a tender expression.
“Mac!” I hissed. “What are you doing?”
I started stalking towards her with the pan, intent on carrying out my threat, and she shrieked and ran in to the lounge room to hide behind Frog. I looked to Jared for help, but he just sat there, arms folded, looking amused.
Jake looked doubtfully at my stomach. “You’re having a baby? You don’t look pregnant.”
All eyes then swivelled to stare at my stomach.
“Who’s the father?” Henry demanded to know, obviously starting to wonder how long I’d been sleeping with Jared and what had been going on with Tate and I. Really, what sort of skank did everyone think I was?
This was getting out of hand. I shoved the pan back on the bench, lamenting the fact that the end of time would arrive before I got to eat something. God, I’d take a piece of Jared’s birdseed bread at this rate.
“No one is the father,” I ground out through clenched teeth, hands fisted by my side. “I’m not pregnant. Mac has clearly lost the plot.”
“Evie,” Coby warned. “Maybe we need to have a chat?”
“It’s a bit late for the birds and bees man,” Cooper threw in.
Frog and Jake laughed. I started pulling out slices from the bread packet and laying them out in a frenzy. Not waiting any longer, I started shovelling a piece of bread in my mouth.
“If you’re not pregnant, then why are you going to the doctors?” Coby asked, sounding doubtful of my pregnancy denial as he watched me shovel bread in my face like the world was ending (which it must have been considering I was actually getting something to eat). “Are you sick?” He gave me the once over, apparently concluding with confusion that I looked healthy as a horse.
“I’ll tell you later,” I said.
“No,” Jake ordered. “If you’re not well, I want to know too, so you can just tell all of us.”
“Yeah,” echoed Henry and Frog.
Jared, obviously having had enough, finally entered the conversation. “She’s going on the pill.”
“Oh my God!” I wailed around a mouthful of bread. “Did you have to tell everyone that?” I folded my arms and glared at him as I chewed.
So not only does everyone now know we did it; they all knew we planned on doing it regularly. Well, Jared was shit out of luck now because I decided my girl parts were going into hibernation. He shrugged at me, not grasping the situation.
“Christ, Jared,” Coby interjected. “Maybe it’s you and me that should be having that talk.” Coby looked pissed off.
Jared looked at Coby and nodded. “Later.”
Everyone turned to eyeball my stomach warily as it growled loud enough to be heard in the next state.
Determined to take the focus off me and deflect it elsewhere, I gave Mac a malicious smile.
“So, Mac,” I asked. “What’s the deal with you and Marcus?”
She glared at me. Everyone turned from staring at my stomach to look at Mac, apparently rather interested to hear what she had to say.
“I don’t know. He asked me out,” she admitted.
“Seriously?” I squealed. “He’s hot, Mac.”
Jared glared at me for that comment. Jesus, I wasn't blind.
“Would you sleep with him?”
“I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.” She grinned.
I laughed as I saw her look of panic when she realised what I’d made her say. My work done, I put the pan on the stove and started heating it for the eggs.
“You’re not sleeping with him, Mac, or anyone else,” Jared ordered.
“Sleeping with who?” Travis butted in on the conversation as he came back from bathroom.
I turned to face Jared, narrowing my eyes. “So what?” My tone was still a little pissy after Pillgate. “It’s okay for me to sleep with you, but Mac can’t sleep with anyone?”
Travis' eyes bugged out at this particular comment.
“That’s right,” Jared nodded.
Coby started going red in the face, and I winced as I imagined the type of words he'd be having with Jared later.
“Jesus, I’m not a nun. I have slept with guys before,” Mac unwisely added.
I saw Jake shake his head and Travis winced. “Well make like a nun, Mac,” Travis demanded. “Don’t wanna hear about you f**king anyone.”
Mac threw her hands up in the air. “Fine, I’ll just be sure not to tell either of you when I do,” she barked at the both of them before stalking over to the kitchen to mash the bread around that I’d laid out and buttered.
“Thanks a bunch, asshead,” she hissed.
I waved the butter knife in her direction. “At least I stood up for you there. You just threw me to the wolves.”
She sounded a little hurt. “I had a reason, Sandwich. You and Jared need to get your shit together. I was just trying to speed up the process.”
“Jesus, Mac. It’s been like an episode of Days of Our Lives here this morning, and now Jared and I seem to be on the fast track to God knows where. I’ve not only slept with him, but now I’m having a pregnancy scare, and we’re off to the doctors for the pill!”
How much faster did she need things to progress?