Q stopped just outside the building, holding out his hand.
I stopped short, eyeing it warily, so conditioned to expect pain or pleasure from his touch.
He huffed, gritting his jaw. “You refuse to do something as simple as hold my hand?” Hurt shadowed his gaze, and he let his arm fall.
I rushed closer and took his palm, squeezing it hard. “I’d never refuse you anything. I’m just not used to something so…normal from you.” I gave him a shy smile, linking my fingers with his until we were locked together.
Holding Q’s hand was so completely different to anything I’d experienced. Brax used to hold me sweetly, our palms a little sweaty—a boy and a girl fumbling with growing up.
Q held me with possession, and the rough-softness of his skin set my teeth on edge and my pulse catapulting. He was pure man. A dominant male who expected explicit compliance, all the while searching for a thread of retaliation. A complete contradiction—a man with two desires.
He held my heart, rather than my hand.
Q tugged me closer until our hands were wedged between our torsos. “I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered.
I gulped, drowning in his citrus and sandalwood. Most of the time we fought with dagger and claw, and yet in that moment, the intensity simmered to flowers and petals.
For the first time ever, our connection was sweet.
“Don’t go dreamy eyed on me, Tess. I’m feeling sentimental. That’s all. Don’t get used to moments like this. You’ll be sorely disappointed.” He untangled his fingers from mine and stalked into the building, leaving me shocked and alone.
Had I done something, or had Q realized how tender the moment was and freaked? I guessed the second one was more likely.
I had a good mind to steal Franco’s gun and hold Q hostage so I could stand a chance of getting into his head. Every time I was close to breaking through, he ruined it.
Sighing, I entered the open and airy office and froze on the spot.
Ice.
Terror.
Utter, heinous foreboding.
My limbs locked in place, and my instincts blared on high alert. The message was simple:
Run.
Run far, far away, and don’t come back.
Run, Tess!
It was the same body-steeling compulsion that made me so afraid in Mexico. My body quaked as I locked my legs from turning around and throwing myself off the building.
Q didn’t matter. The sun or knowledge that nothing evil resided here didn’t matter. All I saw was darkness and blackness and the stench of death.
Run!
I cried out, clamping a hand over my mouth, crumbling into a ball.
“You’ve got nice tits. You can’t hide them forever. Get in the shower and wash your filth.” Leather Jacket’s voice roared into my head. My healed rib bellowed in memory of him kicking me.
“Accept that you are no longer a woman. You are merchandise. And merchandise must have a barcode for sale,” Jagged Scar muttered, just as the pain of the tattoo gun shredded my wrist.
No! Stop.
I’m safe. I’m safe. It’s not true.
“Shit, Tess. What the fuck?” Q plucked me from the ground, hoisting me off my feet. Cradling me, he carried me further into the building before sitting on a white canvas couch.
Let me go. I couldn’t be there. I couldn’t. Ice cubes lived in my blood, greyhounds raced in my legs, wanting nothing more than to sprint.
I tried to get my panicked breathing under control, but my mind was back in Mexico, back with countless other women whose fate might have ended by now. I wanted the a**holes who took me to die. I wanted to be the one who stole their lives, just like they stole others.
“Tess. Tess!” Q’s voice was far away and I latched onto it, gulping in oxygen, swimming hard against the panic.
Something fierce and hot struck my cheek; it helped chase my nightmares back into the depths.
Q rocked me, crushing me against his powerful chest. “That’s it, esclave. Come back to me. Don’t you dare f**king leave me.”
My ear pressed against his suit and the loud rush of his pounding heart brought me back to reality. I sucked in one last wavering breath and opened my eyes.
I tensed, waiting for the room to send me reeling back into a psychotic breakdown, but it stayed bright and airy and completely innocent.
Q froze, letting me go, watching me with piercing eyes. “Est ce que ça va ?”Are you all right?
When I didn’t answer, he launched into a string of angry French. “C'est quoi ce bordel, esclave? Est-ce que tu peux me dire pourquoi tu as eu cette absence? Est-ce que tu me caches quelque chose? Tu as besoin d'aide? Pourquoi tu ne me dis rien!” What the f**k happened, esclave? Care to tell me why you had a breakdown? Have you been hiding this from me? Do you need help? Why didn't you tell me!
I flinched against his anger, hanging my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.” Images of Suzette suffering her own attack flickered into my mind. “Maybe it’s an episode? You know, leftover feelings from my past?”
He scooted me off his lap and onto the couch. The moment he was free, he moved to sit on the coffee table, shoving away large folders and binders.
He kept his hands to himself, almost as if he couldn’t touch me without wanting to break me in half.
“Have you had them before?” His nostrils flared, his entire frame trembling with aggression.
I shook my head, telling the truth. I’d never suffered so violently before. Sure, I had nightmares of the kidnapping and rape, but Q was always there to save me. This was entirely new.
I hated the feeling of being so afraid. I cursed Brax for taking me into the café and for not being strong enough to save me. I wanted to tear each bastard who hurt me into little tiny pieces. I wanted their hearts on a stick. I wanted to live without the awful memories.
But if you didn’t suffer, you would never have been sold to Q.
My eyes widened. After everything—dealing with beatings, degradation, and being tagged like a dog—life rewarded me with my deepest desires. Did fate extract a horrible toll, all in the name of granting my ultimate wish?
“Suzette lets my temper affect her. What was the reason for yours?” Q exploded upright, pacing away, jamming hands deep into his pockets. “It’s me, isn’t it? Being alone with me up here. You’re afraid. There’s no staff. No Franco to stop me if I go too far.” He looked at me with tortured, haunted eyes. “Tell me the truth!”
Heat and temper travelled up my spine, eradicating the last remaining chill. I stood up, pointing a finger at him. “Don’t make this about you. How many times do I need to say it? I’m not afraid of you!”
He threw his hands up. “Maybe you should be f**king scared of me. I’m the worst you’ll ever be with. No one else will come near you as I won’t allow it.” He thumped his chest, breathing hard, straining his immaculate graphite suit. “I’d kill for you, Tess. I have killed for you. Don’t undermine me by fearing others. Fear me. Let me rule you!”
He rushed forward, capturing my nape. “My life guards your life. Tu es à moi.” You’re mine.
His passion, his rage, chased the rest of my panic away. But no matter how touched and honoured I was about his vow to protect me, he couldn’t stop the residual instinct that something wasn’t right.
My heart kicked into high gear as I noticed the wide corridor behind Q’s shoulder, leading off into the unknown.
I swallowed, trying to ignore it. An innocent hallway, nothing more, but my eyes latched onto the entrance, and the slow creep of spiders began anew.
Q followed my eyes. He frowned, then realization shone on his face. “You’re afraid of somewhere new.”
Rushing, he added, “Have you been anywhere else, other than your home in Melbourne and places you’d visited before?”
My brow furrowed, thinking of his question. Finally, I shook my head. “No. You’re right. This is the first place that’s completely new to me.”
He slouched before rubbing the back of my neck and letting me go. “I know what triggered it. You’re terrified of a new location because in the last one you were beaten and kidnapped.” His voice sharpened with anger and his muscles bunched, but he gave me an encouraging smile. “I’ve seen it happen with countless slaves that arrived. They all despise newness—newness is full of horror because you can’t mentally prepare for what you don’t know.”
I blinked. I didn’t think I’d ever grow to be completely comfortable around Q. He saw too much, knew too much about what happened in the sex slave industry.
The property business wasn’t where Q’s heart lay. It was consumed by broken birds. Healing wings, granting purpose to otherwise dead women. He was the glue to so many fractured families finding happiness again.
I couldn’t stop staring at him in a mixture of awe and uncertainty.
He frowned, placing his hands on my shoulders, branding me, his thumbs stroking gently. “You’re safe here, Tess. I won’t let anything hurt you. You have my ultimate word on that.” He lowered his head, eyes unreadable and fierce. “You need to rest.”
I shook my head, horrified at letting him down on the first day. “No, I’m fine. Give me a moment and I’ll be ready to become your doting employee.” I smiled, but it was watery.
Even though I forced myself to be rational, to acknowledge that this was a safe place and Q would fend off the devil for me, I couldn’t stop the froth of fear curdling in my stomach.
Get a f**king grip, Tess.
Q’s body tensed, his jaw flexed. I swore he had some overactive sense that knew when I lied and was truly afraid. He had the nose of a predator, and in that moment I was weak and strung-out prey.
“Maybe you’re right. I’m so sorry, Q.” The thought of going anywhere else and meeting a bunch of new people gave me the hives.
He dropped his hands, nodding. “No need to apologize.”
Slowly, some of the tension uncoiled from my limbs, leaving me shaky. Would I always suffer repercussions of what happened? I thought I was stronger than that. All along I thought I wasn’t broken, but maybe they fractured me just enough to stop me from healing completely.
I felt like a coward. I let my instincts override rational thinking, making me fear an illusion.
Q took a deep breath, ridding himself of the angst visible in his shoulders. He smiled softly as his pale eyes warmed. “I have a meeting I’m late for. I want you to stay here and relax. Watch a movie, feed the birds, go for a bath. Do whatever you want.”
He captured my hand, tugging me closer. “The moment I’m done, I’ll come back, and we’ll go for a nice dinner, or order up, I don’t care. Tomorrow is soon enough to share you.”
I smiled, looping my arms around his powerful back, letting him make me forget that I made a fool of myself. “You don’t want to share me?” I murmured against his chest. A rush of gratitude filled me once again for being sold to such a strange, but moral man.
My fate could’ve been so, so much worse. I was eternally lucky.
He chuckled; the sound resonated in my ear, making my world right again. “No. I wished I never said you’d work for me. I’d rather keep you chained and subservient to me at home.”