I turned back to the lake, my breath frosting the air. The sun was starting to set, turning the fresh snow a golden red as it pulled the blanket of mountains up over its head. Below me on a second tier of the deck, a bonfire popped and crackled, the smoke rising gently into the darkening sky. I watched the dark tendrils fade into the oncoming twilight, feeling peaceful.
A murmur rose from the crowd as lights turned on over the ice. They had placed colored lights around the skating areas, making the ice and snow light up like a fairy land. The house behind me streamed out a warm, welcoming light towards the lake, beckoning cold skaters in from the cold.
I could see Audrey and Ray, hand in hand making slow circles on the lake. They projected a happiness I didn't know was possible. I wondered what had driven them apart so long ago; watching them fall in love for the second time was like getting to watch magic. I didn't know how it was happening, but I didn't want to take my eyes away from it for a second.
"Hot chocolate for the lady," Andrew's voice cutting through my thoughts. I turned and took the hot Styrofoam cup in my hands, breathing in its aroma. Chocolate, frost, and pine smoke all mixed in a delicious medley that would forever remind me of winter in the mountains.
The crowd was beginning to grow on the deck, and it pushed Andrew and me together. I could feel him against me, steady and strong as waves of people moved across the deck. This close to him, I could smell his cologne. He had always smelled good to me, the cologne the same he wore since high school. It was something his dad had picked out for him after catching him with the junk the other high school boys were wearing. He smelled like clear water with just a hint of musk, masculine and strong. Whenever I smelled it, I thought of him.
"The lady at the counter said there is supposed to be fireworks tonight," he said sipping on his cup. He pointed up to the clear sky where stars were starting to twinkle. "Good night for it."
"You think our lovebirds will even notice?" I said as I gestured towards the lake.
"I think they are already seeing fireworks," he grinned at me. I looked back out to the lake, but I could no longer find the happy couple. "Where'd they go?"
"They were there a minute ago. What time is it?" I glanced at my watch to see over an hour had gone by without me noticing it. Andrew had that effect on me. "The wine tasting has started. You want to go skate?"
"Let's eat first. I saw one of those foodie trucks on the other side of the building when I got the hot chocolate. It smelled delicious," he suggested. I nodded and we began working our way through the crowd towards the truck.
We stood in line for a couple of minutes, the smell of hamburgers and bacon filling our thoughts. When we finally got our food, we found a quiet spot off a snowbank and sat devouring the tasty meal. We sat in the snow joking and laughing until my feet felt numb. Andrew stood first, offering a hand to help me stand.
"Ready to skate? I remember you used to be pretty good," he said with a grin.
"If by good, you mean that I have a lot of skill at falling on my butt properly, then yeah, I'm pretty good," I said dusting the snow off my coat. He laughed and we headed back to the lake, stopping at the Lake House to pick up skates.
I was worse than I remembered. Within putting my skates on and taking two steps, I was down on my backside with tears in my eyes from the impact. Andrew smiled apologetically at me as he skated perfectly to my side, giving me his hand to get up. I stood up slowly, splaying my legs like a colt just learning to walk, refusing to let go of his hand. He pulled me in close to him, his body giving me balance.
"You can do this, just glide across the ice. One foot out, good, now push and move the other," he coached gently. His breath was warm on my cheek, and I had to force myself to concentrate on the ice rather than how wonderful he smelled, on how well his hands fit in mine, the way his voice sounded. I couldn't go down that road. I moved slowly, awkwardly across the ice, my legs sluggishly learning the motion. Even as I started moving across the ice more smoothly, I held his hand. In his hand was safety.
We skated the circle once, and I was feeling more confident in my ability to at least stay standing. I let go of his hand, ready to try it on my own, and pushed out ahead of him. I glanced over my shoulder, grinning at my independence, his returning smile making me blush.
I tried my best to skate gracefully, making it almost the full circle before stumbling on my skates. I felt the pit of my stomach rise up into my throat as my hands flailed at the air, my legs slipping out from under me. I never hit the ground. Andrew caught me before I fell, his arms wrapping around me and keeping me up when I was sure I was going to fall. He held me, my legs finding their way back underneath me but my knees turning to jelly. He smelled so good.
"Well, I'll let the hockey team know that you won't be ready this season, but maybe next year," he joked, holding me for a moment longer than necessary before letting me go. My heart fluttered in my chest, and I was glad it was dark enough he couldn't see the blush burning on my cheeks.
"I think I'm done for a little while. Besides, the fireworks are supposed to start soon," I said trying to regain my composure. I knew if I stayed out on the ice with him, I would fall on purpose just so he would catch me.
"Yeah, um. I'd like to do a couple laps. How about you go get us a spot? I'll come find you," he said quickly, not waiting for me to answer before taking off. I looked after him perplexed. I shook my head as I slowly stepped my way back to return my skates. I could see him zooming around the ice, going faster and faster, but always in control.
After returning my skates and getting my boots back on, I found a spot on the deck big enough for two against the railing. It was only a couple of minutes before Andrew found me, his cheeks red from the cold. He leaned against the railing, his breath frosting the night sky as we waited for the fireworks to start. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, regretting my choice of jacket. Now that the sun had set, and I wasn't moving, I was getting cold.
Andrew's brows pushed together for a moment as he watched me, then with a shake of his head, he moved behind me and wrapped his arms around me. The heat was instantaneous and not just from his arms. His cologne filled my nostrils, his body strong and warm behind me. I knew I should break away, to just deal with the cold rather than let myself feel these feelings stirring within me, but I couldn't. I wanted to be close to him, I wanted to feel him touch me.
The lights in the Lake House dimmed and slowly turned off, the dark enveloping us. I looked up to the sky, feeling his breath on my neck. The stars twinkled in the clear sky, constellations and planets dancing their eternal dance. A splash of light lit the sky, followed by another and another. Colors exploded against the stars, streaming fire from the sky. The crowed oohed and ahhed as the night sky filled with color.
I barely noticed the colors streaming from the sky, my attention on Andrew. His arms held me tight, his warmth seeping into me and making my body ache for something I knew I could never have. I let myself believe for a moment, one beautiful moment, that this could work. That we could be more than friends. That I could kiss him, touch him, have him. That I could surrender myself to him and not be afraid of the consequences.
The sky was aflame with color for a glorious instant, then only streams of sparkling smoke and twinkling stars remained. The booms still echoed through the night, a rolling thunder following the man made lightning. I turned my head slowly, feeling Andrew's breath along my cheek. His lips were so close to mine, I could almost feel them. I wanted to taste those lips, red and open just centimeters from mine. He leaned in closer.
His lips were soft against mine. I wanted to merge into him, to never leave this moment. He tasted sweet, like cocoa and sunshine. My heart thudded with happy excitement and I pressed in closer.
The lights in the Lake house turned on, flooding the deck with artificial light. The moment was broken, and Andrew dropped his hands quickly to his sides, releasing me. In the harsh light, I couldn't believe I had kissed him. I pulled my hat down low on my head, feeling my cheeks burn. I couldn't look at him, and instead put my hands on the balcony, hoping he didn't see how badly they shook.
The crowd dispersed on the deck, leaving the two of us standing awkwardly looking out at the lake. I fidgeted with my scarf, trying to figure out what to say. Andrew's phone chimed, saving both of us from having to speak first.
"Mom says they are at the car. They'll meet us there at nine," he read from his phone. I nodded looking at my watch. If we walked slowly, we would reach the car just at nine. I stuck my hands in my pockets and suggested we head towards the car. Andrew agreed and we starting walking, the silence uncomfortable between us. The snow squeaked under my boots as we searched for the car, the lights of the Lake House far away.
"Holly, I..." Andrew started, but as I turned to look at him he stopped with a confused look on his face. "That's just gross."
I spun to see what he was looking at, and at first all I saw was the car. With the windows fogged. And a hand print on the back windshield.
"I hope that's the only part of Titanic they are recreating," I said slowly. Andrew snorted and we inched slowly to the car, Andrew hanging back as we got close. I decided to be the bold one, and marched over to the car, knocking on the window.
I heard voices shushing and giggling as I waited. A moment later the window rolled down, and I could see Audrey and Ray in the backseat. Ray had lipstick smeared across his cheek and on his collar. Audrey's shirt was on backwards. I gave my best disapproving look, and walked around to the passenger side door. Andrew and I slid into the car, turning the defroster on high to clear the windows. Audrey and Ray kept whispering in the backseat, Ray's arm wrapped protectively around her.
"How was the wine tasting?" I asked trying to break the silence.
"Wonderful. We found this wine that we used to drink in high school," Audrey started immediately.
"It was just as awful now as it was then!" Ray interrupted, sending them both into a giggle fit. I decided to give up and just turned on the radio. They continued to tell us all about the wine tasting and the fireworks, laughing as Andrew drove up the winding road. I listened absentmindedly, glad they were filling the car with words that I didn't have to respond to, my mind lost in fireworks.
Chapter 6
Red engines lined the road, spraying precious water at the blaze. Black patches of burned grass hissed and steamed, still defiant against the hoses even as they sputtered. The flames still leaped and danced, their light highlighting the concern filling the fire chief’s face. It was already too late, the flames had too much of a head start. He knew the flames would win the battle tonight, but he called for more men to fight the war.
I fidgeted with my gloves, gathering up my courage to get out of my car and go inside the hardware store. My dad had asked me to pick him up some supplies and I didn't have a good reason not to go. I thought Andrew was sure to be working. It wasn't that I didn't want to see Andrew, it was that I was nervous to see him. I shouldn't be nervous, nothing happened.
Nothing happened. I repeated it to myself, hoping the repetition would convince me. Nothing happened. I closed my eyes, but I could still smell his cologne, feel his body push into mine, his arms holding me tight. His lips were so close.