I knew that was what he wanted to do. It’s what any decent human being would do. But an apology didn’t matter. Not really.
What would happen if he apologized? Nothing.
What would change if he apologized? Nothing.
What would I do if he apologized to me?
Still nothing. He’d still be Mr. No-Strings-Attached and I’d still be the big, dumb virgin that fell in love with the guy. I hurt just seeing him. It wasn’t our argument that made me so upset. That could have easily been talked out. We could have explained everything away and walked out as buddies.
But I didn’t want to be buddies with him. And that was the part that was punching a hole in my heart. I was desperately in love with the guy.
So I got a hotel room in LA. It wasn’t cheap, and it wasn’t a nice room, but it was Ty-free, and that was the only qualification I had at the moment.
Melody sent six frantic text messages to my phone the next day, seeking reassurance that I’d show up for the finale, and that I’d bring my costume and skates with me. I texted her back, saying I would.
Truth be told, I didn’t make the final decision on whether or not I’d show until the last minute. I figured—what would be the worst that could happen if I didn’t show up? They’d threaten to ruin my career? Already handled by me, thanks. Take back their thirty-grand paycheck? At this point, I was ready to give it back if I didn’t have to skate with Ty and have him embrace me and think for even a second that it was the real thing and he really wanted me in his arms.
If I didn’t show up, they’d just cancel our portion of the number and find a way around it. Or Ty would skate alone.
It was the thought of Ty skating alone, looking foolish, that made me climb in a cab and head back to the studio for the final beating on my ego. After all, I loved Ty. I didn’t want to f**k up this last thing for him. Didn’t want to make him look stupid.
I could suck it up and be a big girl for a few hours. I’d smile for the cameras, do my routine with Ty, and then get on the next flight home and drown my sorrows in celery and organic hummus.
I felt a sense of dread as the taxi pulled into the studio. I had my dress tucked under one arm, the skates in the other, and I headed in to meet my doom. I was immediately trapped by the costume people, who were freaking out that I might have wrinkled my dress overnight or stained it. They swept it out of my hands, and then the makeup artist ran forward. “There you are!”
Just as soon as she did, Ty turned a corner. When he spotted me, he stopped in place. “Zara.”
“Can’t talk, Ty,” I said, letting the makeup artist run me off like a chicken. “Gotta get hair and makeup done!”
I barely heard his muttered curse as the door to the makeup room slammed shut behind us, and I was deposited in my chair.
An hour later, my face was made up to the nines, my lips a perfect red bow, my long black hair had been curled into a bouncy, reasonable facsimile of Baby’s hair from the movie, and I was in my costume and skates, waiting to go out onto the ice and trying desperately not to get panicky. My stomach was tied in knots. There was no sign of Ty. Either he was in hair and makeup himself…or he’d had the same thought I had and bailed out.
The show went to a commercial break and a production assistant grabbed me by the elbow. “You’re coming onto the ice over at the right-hand entrance,” she said. “Follow me.”
“We are?” Guess I should have gone to practice. “Okay then.”
Bewildered, I did as she asked, and I sucked in a breath when I saw Ty standing there in his black shirt and tight black pants, skates on and ready to go behind the curtain.
The assistant held her hand out. “One minute before the number starts, and then you guys are the third pair up.”
I knew that. But I nodded and handed her my blade guards. Then I stepped into place next to Ty.
He held his hand out to me as if nothing was wrong, and I took it automatically. Then, his grip tightened on mine. “Good. Now I have you, and we’re going to talk.”
I sighed. “Do we have to? We’re about to go on.”
“I think there was a misunderstanding between us,” he said slowly. His gaze searched mine. “Why did you leave without saying good bye that morning? I thought I did something wrong. That maybe I’d hurt you somehow. Do you know how f**ked up that made me? Especially when you wouldn’t come back?”
I would not feel guilty. Would not. “Sorry,” I muttered. “Let’s blame that on the virginity.” Man, being a virgin had turned out to be a huge pain in the ass. At least I was done with it.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I wasn’t nice to you when you came back. I…just don’t understand.”
I thought for a minute. “Okay.”
That had clearly not been the answer Ty was expecting. As the music swelled and the first couple took the ice to start their routine, he moved closer to me so we could continue talking. “What do you mean, okay?”
“I mean, okay. Thanks for apologizing.”
“You going to tell me what made you avoid me?”
“I’m not sure that I will. I mean, it doesn’t change anything.”
“What do you mean, it doesn’t change anything?” He exploded. “What are you talking about?”
Someone shushed us from nearby.
“Look, can’t we talk about this later?” I held my fist out. “Let’s just do your lucky handshake so we can go out on the ice.”
“No, we can’t talk about this later. We can talk about it now.”
“Lucky handshake first,” I told him, wiggling my fist. “We can’t go out on the ice without it.”
He looked down at my fist and then at me. “You do realize I made that shit up, right?”
I gasped. “You what?”
“I made it up. You were freaking out.”
“Oh my god!” I felt sick to my stomach. He’d lied about his mojo? “I can’t believe you! No wonder we lost!”
“SHHHHHHH,” someone in production said.
“It doesn’t matter, Zara,” Ty told me. “It’s not about mojo or juju or luck or anything like that. You have to make your own luck.”
“No, you don’t,” I said worriedly, eyeing the ice. Maybe I’d have time for a quick kneel and kiss before we had to skate out…
Ty grabbed me by the arms. “Fine, you want to make some luck? Here’s a lucky kiss.” And his mouth planted on mine.
I was so startled that I couldn’t say a thing at first. But then his mouth licked at my own and my lips parted to let him into my mouth. I moaned as the kiss became quickly deep and passionate, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
He broke away from the kiss, though, and gazed down at me. “Now, why won’t you talk to me?”
The next song queued up and began to play. “Get ready to go onto the ice in thirty seconds,” production told us. “You need to be in place.”
“I’m not going until Zara talks to me and tells me why she’s avoiding me,” Ty said calmly.
“I’m not avoiding,” I said anxiously, eyeing the curtain. “We should go out on the ice.”
“Not yet,” Ty said. “I want to hear what the deal is. You cried yesterday. I made you cry. I want to know what I did.”
I gave him a furious look. “Do we really have to go over this right now?”
He put his hands on the sides of my face and kissed me passionately again, silencing my protests. When I was dazed again, he released me. “Tell me what’s going on, Zara.”
“Tell you?” I murmured, staring at his mouth with fascination. It looked dark in the shadows.
“Go out on the ice,” the production assistant hissed again. “Right now!”
“Zara.” Ty crossed his arms over his chest.
Oh god, this was making me twitchy. “It’s not you, all right? It’s me. I got all goofy over you, and I didn’t want it to mess things up. I’ve been falling for you ever since I met you. It’s not your fault I’m a lovesick virgin, okay? You said you wanted no strings attached, so I was giving it to you. I left because leaving without saying goodbye meant no strings attached, at all. That was what was fair.”
His jaw dropped a little.
“And as for coming back?” I rushed ahead, my words tripping all over themselves. I gave a nervous laugh. “Come back and spend two more weeks in your arms? Falling in love even more? It’d destroy me, Ty. I felt like if I were around you too much, I’d just fall even harder. So I went home to try to forget you. Give you your space. But I’m doing a shitty job of it.”
Before Ty could reply, production came forward.
“Go,” the production assistant said and shoved us out the curtain. “Get in place now!” The other song—from Moulin Rouge—was winding down, and I grasped Ty’s hand as we skated forward onto the dark half of the ice rink. The others were on the far end of the ice, and their routine would end away from ours. The spotlights would cut to us when our music came on.
We moved out into position, Ty standing behind me and me in front of him. I bit my lip as we stood, waiting, facing forward in the darkness.
I felt him lean in, his lips brushing my ear. “Maybe I changed my mind.”
“What?” My n**ples hardened in response to his body so close to mine, and I prayed that my arousal wasn’t visible through my costume.
“I said…maybe I changed my mind. I liked what we had…and I missed it when you were gone. Maybe we could give this another try. And attach a few strings.”
My heart thudded in response. Soared.
Ty…wanted me? Wanted more with me?
Really?
The music changed. The entire ice went dark. It was time for us.
Oh shit, they had the worst timing ever.
The spotlight shone on me and Ty, and to my surprise, a ripple of laughter fluttered through the audience. Odd. The music keyed up, and I lifted my arm, caressing Ty’s neck, and he began to drag his fingers down my arm, just like in the movie. It sent ripples of pleasure moving through me. Then his hand grasped mine, and he twirled me outward onto the ice.
And I saw why the audience had laughed. My red lipstick was smeared on Ty’s mouth.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I’m back on track for now. Probation. That’s pretty good, though I admit that I almost wouldn’t have minded if I’d gotten booted. Maybe I’d check out Ohio, see what it has to offer. Open a sports bar or something. Zara’s in Ohio, so it can’t be all bad, right? — Ty Randall, to his manager
Our routine seemed to last forever, but we did everything perfectly, even the lift. The audience cheered wildly when the stage went dark, and then Ty and I skated off. We were done with Ice Dancing with the Stars. For good.
As soon as we got to the curtained area, I grabbed the hem of my skirt and began to dab at Ty’s mouth. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. My lipstick was all over you.”
He chuckled. “Well, I guess that’s one way to keep my man-card. Make out with the chicks backstage.”