Except I had a difficult time telling myself that I disliked Lucent. It was strange, of that I had no doubts, but I liked how he worried. Was that odd? Maybe. I just...
It was sweet in a way. Maybe sweet in a misguided way, but that's what Lucent was. Misguided. Odd. He was strange and irregular and handsome and sexy and hot. Demanding! It kind of fit his personality, now that I thought about it.
Would I mind if he stalked me now? No, probably not. Actually, I sort of liked the idea. Like some rich superhero protector almost. Yes, he broke into my car, but he used his heightened intellect to do so, and he did it for good reasons. He used his powers for good, not evil.
Except for when he tied me up or spanked me. He was allowed to be a little evil then. Just a little bit, just enough. That was fun.
Not even just fun. It was exciting! And...
I shall not bother you again. Goodbye, Miss Tanner.
I needed to call him and talk to him. Yes, he was... odd. I refused to call him a stalker or obsessed, because those were very negative words. Lucent had a singular focus, and that focus was me. That sounded sort of nice, right? I imagined if a journalist queried married women about their husbands, one of the prime responses would be that they wanted the men to pay attention to them and cherish them, and, well...
Lucent was that. He paid attention to me and cherished me, and maybe he did it in a slightly faulty way, but no one was perfect.
He did want perfect, though, didn't he? His contract. What was that about? Did he keep it and hide it away and plan on asking me some day? Except, no, he said he hadn't, and while I probably shouldn't have been so trustworthy considering he'd just told me he'd singularly focused(read: stalked, but that sounded so mean) on me for a lengthy period of time, I did. I trusted him and I believe him. The contract was still never meant for me.
But that didn't change the fact that he did want someone perfect. He said he found me enchanting. I'd exceeded expectations. Pleasing. He'd said so many nice things to me this weekend, and he'd continued saying nice things even after he knew I would freak out about his voicemail message.
He said he planned to leave me this morning, but changed his mind because he worried.
Well, Mr. Lucent Storme, I thought. You're completely wrong and an idiot. I'm going to call you.
I should have his number, right? In my phone's missed message list? I clicked fast to get to it and found it and...
It wasn't there. Why? Wait. Dammit! It was because my phone wasn't on when he called me. It didn't save numbers from people when that happened, and though this rarely happened, now was the worst time for it to happen. I glared at my phone, hoping to intimidate it into revealing Lucent's phone number, but it glowed softly at me, oblivious to my threatening gaze.
What a useless phone.
I had a computer, though. I had the internet. If Lucent stalked me, it was fair turnabout to stalk him, right? I thought so, yes. And even if it wasn't, who was going to chastise me for it? Lucent? He couldn't very well condemn me for doing the same things he did. Or, I didn't think he could. I supposed technically he could, but if he did he'd need to do so in person because I wouldn't listen to him otherwise. And if he did so in person, I'd distract him by squeezing my arms around his waist and kissing him every time he tried to speak. I'd wear good heels so I was tall enough to do so, too. He had no chance in this.
Tossing my phone onto my bed, I rushed to grab my laptop and power it up. My laptop was newer and not as terrible and useless as my phone. Also, it had all weekend to charge, and so it was fully powered up and working without issue.
It took awhile to turn on, though. I needed to wait. I never minded waiting much before, but right now I found myself becoming an extremely impatient person.
...
After an inordinate amount of time, I decided the internet was useless. Lucent Storme's personal contact information didn't exist. Or, if it existed, it didn't exist for me. I checked lots of phone number websites and search things. I didn't even know how any of these places worked, but it didn't seem to matter. They revealed nothing.
I looked on Facebook and he didn't even have a profile there. What kind of person didn't have a Facebook profile? Alright, so I maybe didn't exactly know everything about Facebook, nor did I really use it much, but I did have a profile. I had a picture up, and some information put in, and Vanessa and Margaret were my friends on there, plus my mom and my grandmother. My grandmother had a Facebook profile and Lucent didn't. How weird was that?
My stalking was in poor shape, apparently. I did not have expertise in this field. Lucent did, or so he said. He must, really. He knew where I kept my car keys. In reality, this was kind of scary, but currently I found it impressive. Granted, I kept them in a somewhat obvious spot, but still.
This wasn't good. I'd distracted myself with trying to figure out his phone number and this had postponed the sinking feeling of depression looming over me, but with all my current options exhausted, the painful sensations returned tenfold. With my laptop on my lap, the heat of it warming my thighs, I collapsed against my headboard with a pillow pushing into the small of my back.
My heart thump-thump-thumped, beating fast, pounding against my chest, telling me it felt ill. Yes, well, heart, I don't feel so great myself. I needed to shower, too. I should do that. I would. Soon. I...
I had a sudden epiphany. This was amazing. This was it. I went to Google and searched for Landseer Enterprises then clicked my way to their main website. They had a search field for internal searches and I typed in Lucent's name, then clicked search.
The website went through the process of revealing everything to me. I hoped everything included Lucent's contact information. Even an email address would be nice. I didn't need a personal one; a company email should work fine, too. Maybe a number? He wasn't working today, but if I found his extension, I could call tomorrow and get connected to him and...
Maybe that was going too far. It did seem sort of excessive? Except, no. Lucent had already been excessive, so anything I did barely counted. This is what I told myself, though I doubted the veracity of my rationalization. I doubted it, but I didn't even care, because that's what I was going to do. If Lucent had a problem with it, well... he could spank me. Or stuff. That's what Vanessa said randomly after sentences sometimes, right? I thought I'd enjoy Lucent's stuff.
The website finally loaded my search results and... nothing.
Or, it did have something, but not quite what I wanted. One result, one choice. I clicked it because it was the only thing to click, but it wasn't what I wanted to click.
The website brought me to a career choices page with an opening as a personal assistant for Lucent Storme. Expiration date for the opening was "ongoing" and the requirements included a bachelor's degree, 2+ years of personal assistant experience, computer expertise, spreadsheet, email, and word processor knowledge, and a few more details.
Mostly, I had none of these. I knew about spreadsheets and email and word processor programs, and I did have my bachelor's degree, but not in anything at all related to personally assisting the Director of Public Relations for Landseer Enterprises. I also had no experience in this field. This, I decided, didn't matter at all.
To inquire about this position, please bring your resume to Landseer Enterprises during our usual business hours and request an appointment with the ground floor secretary. No calls. No emails.
Yes, well... yes. Yes. That was it. Yes. This was the only choice I had currently, and I was going to do it. Tomorrow.
I didn't have a resume. How should I write a resume? Creatively, I assumed. I didn't even really want the job, so I assumed it didn't matter what kind of terrible resume I brought with me, but I also didn't want to bring something terrible, because Lucent might want to see it.
"Oh, Miss Tanner," he'd say. "Let me see your resume. I see here you are completely inadequate and you've decided to waste my time. Please leave."
He wouldn't do that, would he? I hoped not. He definitely wouldn't do it if I brought a legitimate and useful resume.
I spent the rest of my Sunday afternoon figuring out how to write a resume.
Maybe the internet wasn't entirely useless.
...
I arrived at the library on Monday afternoon for my scheduled shift at the library. I felt nervous. I didn't need to do this. If I just went into work like nothing was wrong, did my time, performed the tasks necessary of me, I could forget all about everything and...
No. I didn't want to forget everything. It hurt too much. I stepped inside the front door, remembering everything that had happened. Glancing to the side, I saw a high school-aged boy using the same computer that Lucent and I had watched our movie on. In the children's section were the beanbags, and then the book club room where he'd spanked me, and upstairs in the... the... I couldn't think about it anymore. It hurt.
Rob stood behind the main desk, working on some paperwork. He glanced up and saw me and smiled.
"Elise, thanks for coming in. Sorry about all of the problems we had over the weekend," he said. "You didn't have to stay, you know? I appreciate the effort, though. I'll figure out a way to pay you extra."
How did he know I stayed? I must have given him a funny look, because he added, "Someone left a message on the library answering machine. A Mr. Storme? I don't know exactly. He mentioned you two ended up stuck in here because of the snow and he'd pay the library back for the books."
"Oh," I said.
"We were going to throw them out anyways, and it kept you safe, so it's not a big deal, though."
I nodded. I nodded, and... "Did he leave a phone number?"
"No. He just said he'll send a check to cover the costs. I'll rip it up once I get it, I guess. Maybe mail it back to him. I don't know what to do exactly. There's no reason to take his money."
I nodded again. This wasn't working.
"Can I take the day off?" I asked suddenly.
Rob blinked at me. "Did something happen? I guess you must be stressed after the snow incident and all, yeah."
"No," I said. "No, that's not it. Just..."
He smiled at me, urging me to continue.
"Rob, I really do like working here, don't get me wrong, but I wanted to apply for another job, and I'd like to bring my resume there today and hopefully have an interview."
"Oh," he said, looking confused. "Oh, sure."
"I probably won't get the job, but I just want to see how it goes. In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't have a chance, as I don't meet any of the higher qualifications, but I really feel like I should do this."
"What qualifications?" he asked. "Did you bring your resume?"
"Yes."
"Mind if I take a look?"
I swallowed hard and nodded. Digging through my purse, I found my folded up resume and showed it to him. He took it, unfolded it, and scanned through it.
"This looks good," he said. "You don't have any references, though. I know you can just put that you can provide them upon request, but it's not a bad idea to list a few beforehand. You can use me as a reference. Lie a little if you want." He grinned. "I'll confirm whatever I'm asked, so don't worry. None of this should be a problem for you, anyways. I bet you're a shoe-in for the position."
"Rob..." I wanted to cry. Why was he being so nice? I'd just told him I wanted to apply for another job, and here he was helping me do it wholeheartedly. I felt traitorous, almost, especially because I really did like this job. I didn't want to leave, but... I needed to talk to Lucent so badly. Just talking, just to figure this out.