Brennan shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Some. They’re not great, but I’ve been particularly inspired recently.”
“That’s good,” she said, finding she actually wanted to contribute to this conversation. “I like when I feel like that…most of the time.”
“Me, too,” he said, looking her straight in the eyes.
“Sometimes, it’s like ripping my heart out and writing with the blood.” She clutched her chest.
“Sometimes, it’s like that,” he agreed. “And other times, it’s like the sun only shines for you, every breath of oxygen was designed for you to breathe, and life has a new purpose.”
Devon swallowed and nodded. “Yeah,” she whispered. “Sometimes, it’s like that, too.”
“But I like either as long as someone feels the music.”
A pause followed in the conversation. Devon didn’t know exactly what to say. When her phone vibrated in her purse, it kept her from saying anything. She pulled it out and stared down at the message. Reid. He had only sent a message to her once since she had supposedly left for Paris. Her heart sped up. What if she got caught? How would she respond?
Taking a deep breath, she pulled up the text.
I know you won’t get this message for another month, but I’ve been missing you here. I wish I could get in contact with you because I have free time. Paris for a week sounds like a dream. Paris with you sounds even better. Call me as soon as you land, so I know you’re safe.
As Devon finished reading the message, her hands continued to shake even though she knew she hadn’t been caught. She closed her eyes and then opened them slowly. In a split-second decision, she deleted the text from her phone. She didn’t know what had come over her, but she couldn’t have his words staring at her, making her feel guilty, for another second.
Since she had left, she had received three or four emails a week from him. She hadn’t answered any of them. He was probably starting to wonder why she wouldn’t even answer emails, but she didn’t care. What could she say anyway?
“Anything interesting?” Brennan asked, leaning over to her side.
She closed her phone quickly and looked up at him. She hadn’t realized how close he was until that moment. Devon wet her lips as she gazed into the depths of his eyes. His pupils were especially dilated tonight. She didn’t know if it was from the lack of light in the room or if he had smoked pot before arriving. He didn’t smell like it. Actually, he smelled great. How had she never noticed that?
He cocked a lazy smile at her, like he could read her thoughts. Maybe he could. He just stared right back at her, exploring her face in ways that made her feel even guiltier for deleting Reid’s text message.
The more she was around Brennan, the more she noticed him, and that was a slippery slope. Had he always been this good-looking? Had she just not noticed before because she had been blinded by Reid and all the problems she was working through? Or was it more than just his appearance? After all, he hadn’t changed his looks. It was just him. It was something about him that she just got. It was something a person could only experience. Now that she was staring at him, she couldn’t fathom not noticing.
If she had thought coming to this show would at all dampen her rising desire for the man sitting in front of her, she was wrong. Dead wrong.
“No, nothing interesting,” she said, finally pulling her eyes away from him.
Devon was saved from further conversation when the lights began flickering to draw attention. A woman in a black dress walked onto the stage with more confidence than Devon could muster and took the microphone in her hand with a smile. She announced the start of the club’s open mic night, resulting in a boisterous round of applause. While she talked, she strutted back and forth across the small stage like she owned it. A few men let out catcalls. Devon hoped that didn’t continue and that it was only because the woman was clearly an MC of sorts.
Suddenly, the lights shut off, casting the entire bar into darkness. Devon looked around in confusion even though she couldn’t make out anything at all. She didn’t particularly like the dark, not after all her nightmares. She hesitantly began to rise, but then Brennan’s hand found hers in the dark, stilling her. Devon could feel Brennan staring at her even though she couldn’t see him, but this seemed to settle her rather than unnerve her.
Leaning into her, he whispered, “Just wait.”
A spotlight hit center stage a minute later, and the opening chords of a song strummed through the speakers. Then, the woman launched into her song, and the cheers followed. Brennan released her hand, and Devon tried not to fidget.
As the woman held the last high note, ending beautifully, the crowd grew even louder. Then, another person took her place on stage and began singing. Devon wondered how many acts were performing tonight and where Brennan was in the lineup. If this was going on indefinitely, she would need a drink.
“When did you say Hadley and Garrett are getting here?” he asked, checking his watch after the last singer.
“They didn’t say.”
It was getting late. They should have been here already.
“I have to go backstage soon. I hoped to catch them before I left, but I guess I can’t help it. Tell them I said hey, and I’ll see them after the show,” Brennan said, rising from his seat.
Devon fiddled with her phone and contemplated texting them to find out where they were. Hadley was a compulsively late person, but Garrett wasn’t, so they usually balanced each other out. A new person anxiously walked up onto the stage and began awkwardly strumming a guitar. Devon knew this one was going to be a nightmare.
She leaned over to Amy and Hannah. “How many of these people are generally terrible?”
They both looked at her like she was being rude.
“They all have the guts to go up there at least,” Amy said with a shrug, not meeting her eye.
“Yeah, it’s not easy to get up on stage like that,” Hannah agreed, crossing her arms.
Remind me to never try to make conversation with you again, Devon thought.
“I’m going to get a drink,” Devon said to no one in particular.
They weren’t listening anyway.
Careful to avoid the table that had harassed her earlier, she ambled over to the bar and saw there was a long line. Devon sighed, debating whether it was worth it. She decided to wait anyway since she didn’t have anything better to do.
She spent the time scanning the room more closely. Earlier, she had only been looking for her friends, but now, she could simply people watch. A group of girls in the corner were dressed in nothing short of hooker attire. She wondered if they were actual prostitutes or if they just dressed that way for attention. If it was the latter, it was working. A couple was pressed up against the wall in the corner. The woman’s leg was hitched around the guy’s waist, and that was pretty much all Devon could see of her. The couple would be leaving soon if they didn’t prefer the convenience of the restroom stalls. More than a few groups of guys had similar appearances to the meathead who had come on to her earlier. This place seemed to be a breeding ground for them. She would have to tread more carefully to evade their wandering hands on her return to the table.
She looked away from a large group of guys making less than playful banter with one of the hooker types. The girl must have been pretty headstrong because she looked like she was ready to take them on…or maybe she was taking them on in other ways. Devon didn’t want to think about it.
Just as she was finishing her assessment, her eyes landed on a couple near the entrance to the restroom. They appeared to be in the midst of a heated conversation. Devon took a step forward in line and narrowed her eyes. It was dark, but she could just make out the shape of those shoulders, the style of the guy’s hair, the thinness of the girl’s waist, and the flash of blonde hair in the light. It was Hadley and Garrett.
How long have they been here? Devon wondered.
Devon observed their body language because she was too far away to hear anything they were saying. Hadley looked out of sorts. Her hands were flying, and her mouth was moving nonstop. From the looks of it, she appeared to actually be yelling at Garrett, but that didn’t make any sense. Garrett was standing far enough away from Hadley to not look domineering. He seemed to be listening intently, but his posture showed that he was uncomfortable. It was a weird look on him. Devon had spent hours and hours with him, acting completely silly and also completely serious, and she had never seen him look uncomfortable.
She watched as Hadley pushed Garrett away before she turned her back to him. Garrett reached out and grabbed her wrist. He yanked her back toward him, crushing her against his chest, and then slammed his lips down on her mouth. Hadley struggled against him, beating at his arms and shoulders, before she caved and sank into his embrace. When Garrett finally released her, Hadley slapped him across the face and stormed into the restroom.
The girl behind Devon nudged her forward in line. It was her turn to order, but Devon just stood there and stared on in shock.
Chapter Fourteen - Moving Forward
WHAT THE FUCK had just happened?
Seriously. What the hell had just happened?
Devon ordered her drink, so the woman behind her would stop bothering her. Finally, with her drink in hand, Devon turned back to the place where Hadley and Garrett had just been. Neither of them was standing there, and she searched the area to see if she could spot them. They weren’t in plain sight. They must have moved on.
She couldn’t understand what had happened. Hadley and Garrett were in a realm of perfection that didn’t exist in other relationships. Devon was surprised Hadley didn’t have a ring on her finger already.
Devon knew it was ridiculous to think that. It was easy to see the perfection on the outside, but she lived with them. She knew what their schedules were like and how little time they actually spent together. She knew that Garrett’s dad didn’t like Hadley, and she knew that Garrett didn’t know about Hadley’s little coke problem.
Devon stopped in her tracks. Had Garrett found out about Hadley’s drug problem? She ran back through the scenario in her mind, recalling what she had seen. No. No, it didn’t make sense. He wouldn’t have kissed her like that. Would he? Maybe he had asked her to choose him over the drugs. Maybe the kiss had been an act of desperation on his part to convince her, to try to keep her. Gah! She didn’t know, and she really, really wanted to know.
She returned to her seat to wait for Brennan’s performance and stress about Hadley and Garrett. Amy and Hannah continued to act as if her appearance at their table was of little importance, and right now, Devon was happy for the reprieve. She had too many other things on her mind.
Coming to Chicago to escape her life in St. Louis wasn’t working out exactly as she had planned. Not that anything ever did. Not that she had really planned it out to begin with.
Hadley was supposed to help ground her. Garrett wasn’t supposed to take her place. Devon didn’t want to be more comfortable with him than Hadley. Brennan wasn’t supposed to be so appealing. She had too much to work out in her life without dealing with the intruding thought of Brennan’s lips against hers again. She couldn’t do that…not with everything else.