His green eyes were wide with worry. She knew she should feel guilty, and maybe a small part of her did. Ramsey was starting to grow on her and he seemed so genuinely concerned. But this was the last thing she needed after what she had just done.
"Uh, yeah…" she trailed off not meeting his gaze. "Sorry."
"It's fine. I'm glad you're alright," he said scooping her up into a hug. She bit back a cry as his hands brushed against her red, swollen back.
"I have to get out of here," she muttered abrasively. "Can you call me a cab?"
"Where are you going?" he asked hesitantly trying to meet her eyes.
"Back to the hotel."
"Alright. You have a key right?" he asked just to make sure. He snapped his fingers at the concierge to begin to make arrangements.
"Oh shit," she cried. "Chyna lost the other one and I gave her mine. I have to go find her." She turned to make an embarrassing reappearance into the club.
"She's already left," he muttered stopping her from leaving. "I think she is going to his place."
"Fuck!" Lexi could not believe her awful luck. She couldn't stay here any longer, but there was no way she could go back to the hotel. "I guess I can see if they'll make me a new one," she muttered hopefully.
"Just come back with me," Ramsey said tilting her chin up to him. She did not want him to be in her personal space right now. He was too intuitive and would surely notice her bumps and bruises. She didn't want him to ask questions. If she woke up in the morning with scrapes, bruises, and hickeys all over her, he was going to know something was up, because he certainly wasn't going to be given the opportunity to touch her in that way.
"I can't," she muttered.
"You can stay in the guest bedroom…if you want," he added for his own benefit.
"Do I have any other choice?" she grumbled wondering why the universe hated her so much.
He shook his head. "Tell them to pull the limo around," he commanded the woman as he escorted Lexi out of the building.
* * *
My awesome reviewers are: Cupid's Psyche (I hope I answered all your questions ;) ), sammi-2688 (I adored you calling Jack pathological, because as you can see that's a good word for him), 1PitBullGurl, total romance., CaliBound, Sure as the Dawn, and Jet . Black . dbs!
K.A. Linde
Black Box
Your new beginning was a perfect ending
But I keep feeling we've already been here before
It's time you let me know let me know just let go
Tell me with so many out there why I always turn to you
Your goodbyes tear me down every time
And it's so easy to see
That the blame is on me
-Kelly Clarkson "All I Ever Wanted"
* * *
Chapter 22: December One and a Half Years Earlier
The next morning was the gloomiest of any Lexi had witnessed since moving to New York. Snow had fallen the night before after Lexi had made it safely back to her apartment. In typical city fashion, the streets had been cleared of the white flurries by daybreak. Brown slush took its place on the sidewalks and gutters creating a hazardous environment for any who traversed the city. Dreary, charcoal clouds covered the sky casting a depressing aura across the metropolitan area. A heavy fog mixed with the ever increasing quantities of pollution hung thick in the morning air.
Under these conditions, most normal people would have avoided leaving their apartment at all costs on a Saturday morning. Lexi was not one of those people. She thought she had switched off the alarm set for finals, but it still managed to go off at eight in the morning. Her sleep had been restless and no matter how hard she tried to go back to sleep, sleep would not come to her. Instead, she made the mistake of pulling on a t-shirt, black track suit, and running sneakers to take a brisk jog around the park before the city really livened up.
The wind viciously whipped her hair around her face cutting across her delicate skin and stinging her eyes. Water streamed from her eyes as she sprinted the last leg of her run before exiting Washington Square Park. She doubled over clutching her hands to her ribs as her breath came out in spurts. The wintry air filled her lungs causing her to wheeze in pain at the assault. Her heart was still working overdrive thumping away in her chest from the physical exertion. She attempted to wiggle her toes which felt near frozen in her soggy socks and snow-coated tennis shoes. The movement was painful as life came back into her lower extremities.
She straightened brushing her hair out of her face. The gloves she wore barely kept the cold from reaching her fingers. Now that she had stopped jogging, the sweat she had built up was settling onto her skin making her entire body shiver. The wind picked up in velocity pushing and pulling her the rest of the way to her apartment building. She stumbled into the high-arched enclosure letting the wind break past her. A low whistle could be heard as it rushed through the streets. Lexi was just happy that she was out of that. She didn't know what she had been thinking going on a run with the weather in such precarious conditions.
Well that wasn't true. She knew the real reason for her early morning jog. The message from Jack kept replaying in her head, and despite herself, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Sure she knew that she should be reasonable. He probably just went through another interview where he was rejected and left wallowing in his own pity. It had happened pretty frequently that she knew he shouldn't get worked up about it. But he had gotten worked up about it. She could tell from the tone of his voice that he was upset.
All she wanted to do was be there for him.
She wrapped her arms around herself as she strode past the security guard. He recognized her and waved not even checking for her identification card. She was lost in her thoughts as she took the stairs back to her apartment.
Lexi knew that she wasn't Jack's girlfriend. They weren't officially together or anything. They had made that perfectly clear in the beginning.
Yet, something was nagging in the back of her mind. When he had been threatening Clark, he had said just that. He had claimed they were together. She wasn't naïve enough to believe that they were automatically going to jump into something that they were unaccustomed to. She knew how they worked, and thus far, it had worked out surprisingly well. But it was a step in the right direction. If he could speak about them being a couple, even if it was just out of blind jealously, then she saw that as a positive.
Unfortunately, that positive aspect of yesterday didn't filter through to the voicemail he had left on her cell phone. Her gut instinct kept gnawing at her insides counteracting her happiness. She ignored them though and attempted to think of more pleasant things…like the shower she was about to take.
Her teeth were chattering as she slid into her dorm room. She clenched and unclenched her fingers hoping to accelerate the blood flow. Sliding her gloves off Lexi brought her hands to her mouth and blew on them as she rubbed them together.
"Where have you been?" Lexi heard someone call anxiously from a bedroom.
Startled from warming herself up, she glanced up and saw Rachelle silhouetted in the doorway. "I went for a run."
Rachelle peeked back through her window as if to confirm that it was in fact miserable outside. "In this weather?" she asked condescendingly.
"Uh…yeah. I needed to clear my head."
"Did it work?"
"Not really. I'm kind of frozen," she told her a chill running down her back at the mention of the cold.
"You Southerners," she scoffed, "this isn't cold."
"Feels pretty cold to me," Lexi said wrapping her arms around her body.
"Whatever. Why didn't you take your cell phone with you?" she asked disapprovingly.
Lexi cringed realizing that, in fact, she had forgotten her cell phone. She knew when she was out in the city, especially when she was alone, that she should have it with her, but she hated carrying it with her when she was running. She just felt weighed down by technology. And with the way she was feeling this morning, she wanted to have her phone with her even less. But Rachelle was looking at her expectantly. "Uh, yeah sorry. I guess I forgot it."
"Yeah I know. It has been ringing off the hook all morning...on loud," she grumbled crossing her arms over her chest.
Lexi gulped taking a sideways look towards her room as if her phone was going to start ringing again at any moment. "Sorry bout that."
"You should call Jack back. I finally had to answer and tell him I'd give you the message, but that you weren't home."
"You told him I wasn't home?" she squeaked.
"What was I supposed to do? You weren't in your room. Your phone was still on your desk. Your purse was missing. You had to be somewhere. I told him you were out. What's the big deal?" Rachelle asked.
Lexi groaned. "My purse is missing? Great, just great. What a fantastic morning."
"Just call him back," she said slamming her door angrily.
Lexi sighed and trudged into her room. All she wanted to was shower. She did not want to have to deal with this right now. Her stomach was churning and she wasn't even sure why. Something just felt off. She glanced around noticing that her purse was still exactly where she had left it safely tucked under her desk. Rachelle must have just missed it when she answered the phone. Lexi breathed out a sigh of relief that nothing had happened to her purse. At least that was one less thing she had to deal with. She unplugged her phone from where she had left it charging the night before. Eight missed calls showed up on the phone and she had four text messages, and that was before Rachelle had gotten to her phone to turn it off.
Even though all she wanted to do was take a shower and not think about anything, she reluctantly opened the phone and dialed Jack's number. As she waited, she peeled of her running jacket and hung it on a hook on the back of her door. Her t-shirt came off next followed by the black long-sleeve underarmour. Her track pants hung low on her h*ps and her black sports bra hugged tight against her chest.
"Lex," Jack breathed into the phone, "where have you been? I've been calling all morning."
"Yeah, Rachelle told me. Sorry about that."
"What were you doing? Who were you with?" he asked accusing her with every word.
"I was out for a run."
"In this weather?"
She wanted to curse. Why was it so hard to believe that she would go out for a run when it was nasty outside? She needed to clear her head it wasn't the end of the world. That didn't give everyone the right to accuse her of anything. "Yeah."
"Right."
"What? Do you not believe me?" she asked her earlier anxieties making her jumpy.
"Sure I believe you. If you say so."
"Then why don't you sound like you believe me?" Her voice couldn't hide the hint of annoyance at his tone. He was the one who had dipped out of the party and then left a sketchy voicemail telling her not to come over to be with him. She should be the one accusing him of not being around. Why was he being all accusatory?
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He had a rough night with the job interview. Since he probably didn't get the job, he was probably just irritated with that. There was no need for her to make it worse for him. "I'm sorry. It was just a rough night."