He sighed heavily once more. "No, that's not it at all. Parker is just…you know and I'd feel better knowing that you were there too."
"Ramsey, as much as I'd love to be around you and Parker at the same time," Lexi told him sarcastically. "I cannot…no, I will not go to that wedding. Can you not understand? This is Jack we're talking about marrying your sister. I just cannot fathom a reason good enough to go."
"To visit me?" he asked hopefully.
"If I wanted to visit you Ramsey, I would just fly to Atlanta. I wouldn't have to go to that miserable wedding to see you," she muttered angrily. "So please, do not ask me again."
Lexi could hear the defeat in the next breath he took. He was weighing his options of whether or not to push her on the subject. It wouldn't be smart on his part. She wasn't wavering on this one like she had when Jack had called her. A lot had happened in a year and she wasn't the same person she had been back then. She had tried to say no to Jack, rather unsuccessfully, but she couldn't keep repeating history. She was too good at that to begin with.
"Alright Lexi. I won't ask again. Sorry for bothering you. Will I see you again?" he asked sounding even more disheartened than when she had first told him that she wasn't going to be in attendance.
She didn't know how to answer him either. She strode across the bedroom to stand in front of the large mirror standing on top of a hard oak desk. Her mind was telling her that she should tell him no, but she couldn't help that her heart was telling her otherwise.
She hadn't seen him in nearly three weeks since she had left him all alone in Atlanta. A wave of déjà vu passed over her in the aftermath of her reminiscence. Now she had left two men behind in Atlanta. Both who she cared deeply for but in very different ways.
Jack, it was difficult to even think about him, was a necessary loss. They were self-destructive when in each other's company. Their emotions were too strong, too heated. Their senses dulled and imaginations set free. They left a path of pain for whoever ventured near, and Jack and Lexi weren't immune to the catastrophes they created. There was a reason the sin of lust was whirled around for eternity in Dante's Inferno. No matter where they went, they couldn't help but ceaselessly be in a whirlwind always crossing that fine line between love and lust.
But did Ramsey have to be a necessary loss as well?
Admittedly, she met Ramsey around the same time she had met Jack. She simply had no direct connection to that meeting, as she had with Jack. With the passing of time, their paths had crossed again at the club in New York. It had to be more than coincidence that they had met up again in Atlanta.
Lexi wasn't a mystical person and she didn't typically adhere to fortune telling or fate. But with Ramsey, she wasn't sure if there was any other way to describe it. They had too many chances meetings. And though things hadn't worked out for them when she had been in Atlanta, she didn't necessarily want that to be the end. Even though she shouldn't, she missed him.
It was too bad he had used up his second…and third chance. They were far from perfect, but she couldn't keep letting herself fall into another path with the potential to be nearly as destructive.
"I…I don't know Ramsey," she mumbled finally giving him the best answer she could muster.
"Well, that's better than no," he said always the optimist.
She chuckled to herself. "Yeah I guess so."
"Please let me see you. I promise I won't bring up the wedding again. I just…I miss you. I'm so sorry about everything. I'd understand if you were mad at me and didn't want to see me, but I really, really miss you. I've never met anyone like you Lexi, and I don't want to waste anymore time letting you slip through my fingers," he announced.
"I can't make that kind of commitment," she told him sullenly reverting back into her standard argument. She wasn't good with commitment. She had cheated on everyone she had ever cared about. Somehow, she had even managed to become a pretty good liar, a fact she wasn't exactly proud of.
"I wish I was there to kiss you," he whispered huskily into the phone.
"Ramsey," she said warningly, but her voice had lowered impishly with the comment.
"Tell me you'll see me again," he commanded, but the words were gentle.
"I…" she trailed off. "Are you planning on being in New York?" She assumed he didn't have plans to be up here, not that money was an issue. But if he didn't already have plans, then she could stall just a little bit longer. It hadn't even been a month since they had been apart, and though she missed him, it wasn't long enough for her to try to forget him either. If he crashed back into her life so soon, she wasn't sure she'd have the will to walk out again.
"Actually, I am," he told her cheerfully knowing, somehow, that he had her in a corner.
"Oh," she blurted out in surprise. She hadn't exactly been expecting that. Maybe he was bluffing. "What are you doing up here?"
"I have...business to attend to," he muttered vaguely.
Lexi's eyes darkened. She did not want to have anything to do with his business matters. Who knew what he had planned if he was up here for business? He could be doing literally anything, and she didn't want to be involved. "Well count me out," she told him fiercely.
"Something for good ole daddy, Lexi," he mumbled obviously perturbed about the whole situation.
"Oh," she said again. That changed things. His father, the owner of Bridges Enterprise, a multi-million dollar conglomerate, frequently had Ramsey attend to business matters when he was traveling. Ramsey, who hated working for his father for so many reasons Lexi had stopped counting, usually did them more for Bekah than anyone else. They had a strange bond as brother and sister. A bond Lexi didn't much like since Bekah was the scum of the universe.
"So what do you say?" he asked hopefully.
"Uh, alright then," she agreed listening to the devil on her shoulder, "you can visit, but Ramsey…"
"Yes?" he asked practically giddy with excitement.
"Don't you dare bring up that wedding," she warned him.
* * *
K.A. Linde
Drugged
"Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight"
-Blink 182 "I Miss You"
* * *
Chapter 2: September Eleven Months Earlier
Pilates was one of the first things Lexi decided she was going to do to forget everything that had happened in Atlanta. She signed up for a semester long class with her excess student loan money. She was still in shape from her semi-regular jogs around the city, but it just wasn't enough. No matter what she did, law school managed to add a few extra pounds when she wasn't looking. Though she had always had a petite frame and was still rather small, she didn't like the excess weight any more than any other woman in America. Not to mention after two years of going cold turkey without her gymnastics training, her flexibility was shot. She could barely fall into a regular split, and to any prior gymnast, it was an embarrassment.
Lexi rolled over on her purple mat as the teacher instructed her into a plank position. Her core muscles hardened underneath her as she held the push-up like pose. She could feel her body begin to shake from the effort, but she held her head high and kept a smile on her face to loosen her features. Just when she thought she would collapse, the teacher instructed them to release. Lexi pushed over her toes, laying her legs flat against the mat, and arching her back. Every core muscle expanded and she let her head drop backwards for that added sensation.
Rolling back over her toes, Lexi shot her butt up into the air in a downwards dog position giving her calves and shoulders a thorough working. She alternated feet, pressing each heel into the ground, and holding the move.
The tiny Pilates instructor came up behind her and flattened out her back, adjusting the position just enough to get maximum potential out of the movement. "Very good," she complimented. She flung her waist length braid over her shoulder as she stood and moved to another student.
Lexi breathed into the position letting all the built up energy of the past month release from her body. School had started as expected and though her courses were rigorous, the anticipation of graduation looming over everything relaxed students and faculty alike. Relaxed was a relative term, of course, since she still had reading for obscure law courses in statutory interpretation and other such material that was supposed to prep her for the bar and the real world. She wasn't certain they were really prepping her for anything.
Just as the instructor began working them through the next series of movements a loud jingle began playing from one of the bags stuffed against the adjacent wall. Lexi's face colored as she realized that was her ring tone. Cell phones were strictly forbidden on any setting other than silent. Lexi hadn't even realized that her phone had been on until that second.
Jumping up from her seated position, Lexi scrambled to the other side of the room and switched it off. The teacher glanced at her disapprovingly and went back to her work. A few other faces still glared at her as she flipped open the phone and glanced down at the screen. Chyna's name appeared across the front and just as she was about to scurry back to her mat in hopes of regaining some of her earlier composure, a text filled the screen.
"911! Get ur ass over here."
Lexi groaned inwardly at the abrupt change of course her afternoon was taking. She stuffed her cell phone back into her purse and threw it into the pile with her other stuff. She wanted to kick herself for giving into Chyna's hysterical whims, but her friend was important to her. Girlfriends had come and gone in the past, but she couldn't imagine life without her friend who had seen her go through the most grueling part of her life. Their chance meeting outside of a club when Lexi had all but called her a snooty, rich bitch had sealed their fate. And if Chyna said there was an emergency, Lexi came running, because she knew Chyna had always been there for her when she needed her most.
With that in mind, Lexi rushed back to her mat and began rolling it up. She slipped the cover over the squishy material and slung it over her shoulder. "Kathy I have to run," she said approaching the woman and smiling apologetically.
"Come back and make it up later in the week," Kathy said her smile warm and understanding. The woman was a god send, honestly. Lexi knew Pilates and Yoga instructors were chill, but she had never met a woman quite as gracious and caring. Lexi sometimes wondered why she hadn't become a therapist since her natural aptitudes involved healing the mind and body.
After signing up for a make-up session with the receptionist, Lexi rushed out on the busy Manhattan street and pulled her phone back out. "What's the 911 chica?" she punched into system and hit send.
She pushed a loose wisp of hair behind her ear and continued down the street dodging pedestrians. Almost instantly she had a return message, "Tell u when u get here. Hurry!"
Lexi sighed and broke into a light jog. She wasn't certain if it was necessary for her to be rushing to Chyna's apartment, but she didn't want to take the chance. Chyna was prone to dramatic flairs, but it wasn't typically a 911 situation when she went off on her rampage. Running out of breathe and energy, Lexi briskly walked the next few blocks resting momentarily as she reached the door front to Chyna's apartment. Her lime green, messenger bag smacked one last time against her back as she reached forward to hold onto a pole for support.