I searched for Will’s hair and he was easy to find. He waved to me and pointed to an empty seat next him. I sighed inside, but climbed the steps and sat next to him.
“You still mad at me?” His hair was in his face again, and not in a good way.
“What does your twindar tell you?”
“Results are inconclusive at this point.” That made me bite back a smile. My twindar told me he felt like and a**hole and didn’t want to fight with me any more than I wanted to fight with him.
“Can I please cut your hair tonight?” I said, pushing it out of his eyes.
“If you’ll stop being mad at me.”
“Fine.”
“Okay then.” He grabbed his bag and pulled out his textbook. The room buzzed like a hive full of nervous bees. Some already had their textbooks open and their notebooks ready. Some looked like they’d just rolled out of bed and had randomly wandered into the room.
Like an arrow, I felt his eyes on me.
“Brother of Doom Number Two is here,” I said, nudging Will, who was digging in his bag for a pen.
“What?”
“Look,” I pointed as Zan walked up the steps, his eyes sweeping the room, and taking a seat a few rows in front of us.
“I seriously want to punch that f**ker,” Will whispered, cracking his knuckles. The girls in the row in front of me totally heard him and started giggling.
“Keep it down, you idiot.”
“I’m just saying.” He glared at the back of Zan’s head. “At least he isn’t staring at you.”
“Can we please not talk about it now?”
A professorial-looking fellow entered the room while syllabi were handed around and class began, effectively ending Will’s line of conversation. I had no doubt he’d pick it back up again when class ended.
When it came to Will, the only way to get him to let go of something was to distract him with something shiny. Or something with boobs. You had the best shot if you had both.
“So, I think I made a new friend,” I said as we exited after another run-through of class procedures and policies. “She’s of the female variety.”
I watched Zan’s back as he vanished out of a side door. Will didn’t notice.
Point for me.
“Yeah?” Will was instantly all ears.
Another point for me.
“We bonded while sharing Harry Potter references.”
“And?”
“And, she’s really nice.”
“That’s great.” He was less-than enthusiastic. I was totally stringing him along.
“She’s got long legs.”
“You don’t say,” he said, and I could almost feel him getting more interested. Will was a leg man. It was only mildly disturbing that I knew that.
“And long dark hair.” Will was also a hair guy, especially if it was straight.
“Keep going.”
“And she seems smart. She warned me against dementors.”
Will snorted and shook his head.
“A hot dorky girl? Those are hard to find.”
“Thanks, Will.”
“You knew what I meant.”
“Sure.” He gave me a leading look. “Yes, I will casually mention you the next time I talk to her, if it’s not creepy.”
“I just have one favor to ask you. Please, I beg you, don’t do that thing where you ramble and tell all sorts of personal information. Please.”
“So you don’t want me to tell her about the time in kindergarten when you got lost going to the bathroom and peed your pants?”
“Christ, Lottie, keep your voice down.” He glanced right and left, but everyone was too busy with their own crap to notice.
“Or how about the time you tried to burn you report card and ended up setting the kitchen on fire? Oh, how about the time –“ My word flow was dammed by Will’s hand. I reached my hand out and got him in his ticklish spot. The hand vanished from my mouth as he fought to get away from me.
“Duckling! Duckling!” He yelled as he thrashed and got a hold of my thumb. That made me laugh, which gave him an opening to get the upper hand.
“I surrender, I surrender,” I said, letting go of him.
“So,” he said, pretending to dust himself off, “how long are these legs?”
Chapter Ten
Zan
I almost skipped bio, but at the last minute, I decided to go. I knew it was going to be hard finding a seat, but I had no idea I’d be looking for an empty seat and find her. Not just her, but Will too. I immediately went for a seat that was as far from them as possible, and forced my neck not to turn to glance back at them. That didn’t stop me from feeling their eyes on me, especially Will’s. If he could have punched me via eye contact, I’m sure he would have.
It was harder being in class with Charlotte than I thought it would be, and I bolted through the first door I could find.
I also kicked the first trashcan I could find before punching the first thing I could find, which turned out to be a wooden sign.
Not the brightest thing I’d ever done, but I didn’t know how much longer I could deal.
“Shit!” I screamed after I realized I’d probably broken my hand. The sign remained intact. Miss Carole wasn’t going to be very pleased. Ignoring the horrified faces of my fellow college students, I went back to my room to bandage my hand.
It was swelling pretty badly by the time I got back, but I wrapped it with some tape and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer. As long as it didn’t turn black, I was probably okay.
My hand was hurting like hell, but I was going to make myself feel it.
My brother had left me a message saying that he was busy with Katie, but he wanted to hang out at some point. Zack’s idea of hanging out was getting as shitfaced as possible and passing out wherever he fell. It usually meant me dragging him into bed and turning his head so he didn’t choke on his own vomit. The only person that was fun for was Zack.
I zapped some chips and cheese in the microwave and dragged out Gramps’ records and thumbed through them, looking for something to soothe my mood.
My fingers found Leonard Cohen’s Various Positions. Perfect. I put the record on and set the needle. I waited while the pops and static disappeared into ‘Dance Me to the End of Love’.
I munched my snack as I started my calculus homework. The numbers floated in front of my face, and I couldn’t make them settle. I kept thinking about Charlotte.. And her voice. Her deep, throaty sexy voice that made me think of sex and skin and tangled sheets.
I closed my eyes and let Leonard’s voice wrap around me.
“Hey,” Devin said opening the door, blinking rapidly like he was trying to clear his eyes. Or he was trying to figure out if I was really there. I could spot a stoner a mile away.
“Hey,” I said. “You staying tonight?” Devin had only spent one night in our room so far. I was curious about where he went, but I never asked.
“Nope.” I’d also never seen him with books, or a backpack or give any indication that he’d gone to class. That was also a mystery.
He put is bag down and went for his computer without another word. I let the music play, figuring if he had a problem with it, he could say so. I had headphones. He hadn’t said anything about my music yet, except for asking about the record player.
“What the hell is this?”
“Leonard Cohen.”
“Never heard of him,” he said, giving me a look like I’d said Adolf Hitler.
I didn’t have much hope for the future of the human race if people didn’t know who Leonard Cohen was.
“What happened to your hand?”
“Nothing,” I said.
Before I could ask if he wanted me to put on my headphones, he stuffed some earbuds in his ears and turned up something that sounded like crushing trash cans from where I was sitting.
I tuned him out and focused back on Leonard.
He left a few minutes later with barely a good-bye. My phone buzzed with a message from Miss Carole.
How are you doing?
Fine. Surviving.
She messaged me back right away. Have you talked to her?
Sort of. She yelled at me.
I could almost hear her laugh, even though she wasn’t here.
Oh, Alex. Maybe actions would speak louder than words. You should do something for her.
Like what? Showing her my busted-up hand didn’t seem like quite the gesture Miss Carole was thinking.
You’re a smart boy. You’ll figure it out. Talk soon?
Definitely.
The record ended, and I got up to flip it over.
I glanced around the room, looking for an idea. My eyes settled on the top of the microwave, on my tin of tea. She’d been trying to get it the other day when I’d bumped into her accidentally on purpose.
I had an idea. I just needed a coffee cup, a packet of tea and a black marker.
It was probably f**king stupid, but seriously, did it matter? Did anything matter when you came down to it?
Lottie
I didn’t encounter Zan or Zack Parker for the rest of the day. By the afternoon, I was beat and my head was full of homework. I also needed to find a job, and bug Will to find a job so Mom would get off our backs about supporting ourselves.
My head was pounding by the time I made it back to my room and saw another note from Katie.
Out with Zack. Be back later. Someone had drawn a crude penis next to it. Three guess who.
She was going out again? Didn’t she have class? Whatever. She could do what she wanted. I wasn’t her mother.
I had a quiet dinner with the boys and then settled in for some reading. I was nearly done with Mockingbird, but I needed something lighter. I scanned my shelves, grinning fondly at the titles.
I needed some cute romance to lose myself in. I was just about to settle in with a cute book with lots of kissing when I got up to pee. I opened the door and there was someone standing in my doorway holding a coffee cup and wearing a shocked face.
Zan Parker. Again.
“Do you have a stalking problem? Seriously, you didn’t get enough of me this morning? My brother and Simon have offered to beat the shit out of you for me, but I’m kind of considering doing it myself. If you don’t move within five seconds, I’m gonna go ahead and take care of that. Got it?” It didn’t matter that he was over a foot taller than I was. I had rage on my side. Hell hath no fury and all that.
He listened to my tongue-lashing in silence. His lips didn’t move, but I swore he was smiling.
“One,” I said, starting my countdown. “Two.”
When I got to four, he handed me the coffee cup and walked away.
“What the f**k is wrong with you?” I yelled out behind him. A girl who was going to the bathroom turned and gave me a nasty look.
“I wasn’t talking to you, sorry,” I called. She looked at me like I was crazy and went into the bathroom.
He stood with his back to me ten feet down the hall. I noticed that there was a bunch of white tape on his left hand, as if he’d hurt it.
“What do you want from me? Haven’t you taken enough already?” He turned around slowly, and his face fractured for a second. I was so used to him being so expressionless, it startled me.