I scowled at her, hating that she thought she could win him so easily. She couldn't. Kellan's heart was fixed on me.
Releasing my arm, she relaxed and her tone softened. I found myself relaxing as well. "This media circus that he hates so much is going to happen regardless of my interference." She smiled, and a trace of warmth finally appeared on her face. "In case you haven't noticed, Kellan is very attractive. And on top of his looks, he's also very talented. That combination has the uncanny ability of reducing the most sophisticated woman into a trembling teenager. I think even a happily married woman would consider shucking it all for one night with him."
A soft laugh escaped me. Yeah, I had to agree with that one. Kellan was just . . . desirable.
Sienna put her hand on my arm, almost in comfort. "Get used to it now, while he's safely in my hands, because he's going to be linked with every female that he comes in contact with from here on out. It's just how the business works."
My heart sank, but I knew she was right. "But it's different with your fans. More intense. They've turned you into a power couple . . . Kell-Sex."
Sienna rolled her eyes. "God, that nickname. It's awful, isn't it?"
I smiled, feeling relieved for the first time. Since I felt we were being honest, I told her, "I'm afraid to touch him when we're around other people. I'm afraid we'll be discovered, and the fans will turn on me." Sighing, I asked her, "What do you think they would do if they knew about me?"
She shrugged, not too worried. "Bitch, moan, and crucify you online. I seriously doubt they would come after you with pitchforks or anything." Her expression turned thoughtful and a knot formed in my stomach. With a wave of her hand, she told me, "I doubt it would affect your relationship as negatively as you think." Rubbing my arm, she gave me a best-friend smile. "The fans would get over it. They love Kellan too much to dwell for long."
She winked at me and then twisted to walk over to a vanity that had been set up for her. Picking up a tube of lipstick from the table, she leaned over and stared at her reflection. "I'll ease up on the cuddling, if it really bothers you that much." She looked at me in the mirror, her gaze questioning.
"We would appreciate it . . . thank you." She was consenting to our wishes, but it didn't feel like a victory. I hesitated, then decided to ask her what I really wanted to ask her. "Will you please say something to your fans? Tell them that Kellan is in a relationship? Don't mention my name or anything," I quickly added, "just help us try and stop the rumor mill?"
Sienna took an inordinately long time applying a layer of deep red around her plump lips. When she was finished, she rubbed her lips together. "Sure thing, love."
Thinking our meeting was over, I turned to leave as she gave herself one last look over. Her voice stopped me, though. "I've seen you writing backstage. How is your book coming?"
Not realizing she'd seen that, I told her, "I'm just about done with it."
Twisting to me, she sat on her vanity and stretched her arms out behind her. The mirror gave me a full shot of her outfit; the counter was pulling down the already low back of her jumpsuit, so I could see the top of her ass. "I know people in the industry. Perhaps they could look at it when you're finished?"
I sort of felt like accepting any help from Sienna would come with huge strings attached-cable-sized strings-and all of them would be tied to Kellan. So I only smiled and said, "Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."
Sienna dismissed me with a friendly wave, and I left her room not quite sure if that conversation had gone well or not.
Shoving her to the back of my mind, I set off to find my favorite rock star. When I did find him, what he was doing surprised me a little. The crew hadn't finished setting the instruments up on the stage yet. In the prep area behind the stage, there were various lonely instruments in and out of their cases-a guitar here, a microphone there. A full drum set was resting peacefully in the organized chaos. Kellan was behind them, attempting to play a D-Bags song while Evan laughed at him mercilessly.
I'd never seen Kellan behind the drums before. The sight was both odd and natural-a beautiful blue jay gliding across a lake instead of soaring through the clouds. It was clearly something that was not his specialty, and he was biting his lip as he concentrated on the complicated rhythms. Watching him focus so intently on something was intoxicating, and I wasn't the only one who felt that way. A small circle of people were gathered around us, listening to him play-rather, try to play.
Evan spotted me and came over to wrap his arm around me. He was still laughing, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he watched Kellan fumble over a beat and nearly drop one of his sticks. "It's nice to know I'm better at something than Kellan," he told me.
I laughed as I watched Kellan curse and shake his head. He was losing the rhythm fast; I could barely recognize the song I knew he was trying to play. "His talent lies elsewhere," I murmured. Evan chuckled at me, squeezing me tight, and I realized my statement could be taken as dirty talk. "You know, singing and such."
He laughed a little harder. "Yeah, I figured that's what you meant."
When his attention shifted to Kellan again, I asked him, "What's with the Jujubes box?" I hadn't been going to pry, but darn if I hadn't been curious for months.
Evan looked down, a touch of embarrassment darkening his cheeks. "Oh, that. Ah, Jenny and me, the first time we . . . you know, we'd been snacking on those and the box . . . got squished . . . in the process." He peeked up at me. "I didn't know she kept the box." He smiled, a wide, lovesick, satisfied smile. "Sentimental girl."
My heart warmed for my friends. "Most of us are."
"Fuck! I give up!" Kellan called out.
The crowd around us started laughing as the awkward drumming ended. I twisted my head back to Kellan. He'd tossed the drumsticks out onto the floor and was resting his head on the snare drum in defeat. Evan clapped my back. "I think I broke him. You may need to console him before the show."
I was laughing as I walked up to my dejected husband. When he felt me beside him, he glanced up. "I suck," he muttered, his lips curving into a full-blown puppy dog pout.
Resisting the urge to suck on that lip, I extended my palm and helped him stand up. "You can't be a pro at everything, Kellan," I told him, fingering his wedding ring before letting go of his right hand.
Kellan's eyes turned heated as he stared at me. Voice as husky as his eyes, he responded with, "You're right. I'll just stick to what I'm really, really good at." His vision traveled down my body, the fire in his eyes tingling my skin like a Fourth of July sparkler.
I wanted to remind him to behave, but he instantly switched moods. Expression now curious, he asked, "What did Sienna say?"
Walking with him around the people busy working, I recounted my confusing conversation. "She said we were overreacting." I watched him as I continued. His gaze was speculative and disbelieving; he didn't agree. "She also said she'd ease up on the cuddling."
Kellan smirked. "She's said that before. But then a camera gets pointed in her direction and she . . . forgets." He rolled his eyes. "Gotta give the fans what they want. She's a performer to the core."
"It's how she was raised. It's how she survived the transition from child star to superstar." I blinked at my words. Did I really just defend her?
Kellan seemed surprised as well as he held open the door to his empty dressing room. "I get that. I think the only thing I really do get about her is that her childhood sucked just as much as mine did."
The door closed behind us, and I looped my arms around his neck. My face serious, I told him, "No, her childhood was nothing like yours, Kellan. Not even close."
Ancient sadness filled his eyes as he nodded, and I squeezed him tight in an attempt to prove to him that my love was stronger than their hate.
Later, when the D-Bags were on stage, Anna came up to me as I watched Kellan singing his heart out from my behind-the-scenes vantage point. I usually used this time every evening to work on my newly conceived book. Writing two books at the same time probably wasn't the best way to finish one, but whenever I watched Kellan play, my creative juices started flowing and I had no choice but to pour it out onto my laptop screen. He was my own personal muse.
I paused mid-sentence and glanced up at my sister. She looked a little uncomfortable as she rubbed a spot on the lower left side of her belly. Her green eyes shimmered a little in the stage lights. I didn't know if that was because she was feeling emotional or just really tired. Supporting a life had to be exhausting, not to mention dealing with Griffin. Remembering Anna's monumental admittance during the meet-and-greet today, I wondered if she was okay.
Closing my laptop and setting it on the floor, I stood and pointed at my straight-backed chair. "Do you want to sit down?" It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but at least she could rest her feet.
Her eyes glued on the stage, Anna muttered, "Thanks," and worked her way onto the hard metal. As she tilted her head to keep the boys in her sight, or maybe just one boy in her sight, I noticed the dark circles under her eyes. She covered them well with concealer, but I could see just a smidge of purplish-black. She would never admit it, but she was worn. She really should go home and rest up while she had the chance.
Putting a hand on her shoulder, I asked, "You okay, sis?"
She immediately lifted her chin, her liquid eyes drying. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"
There were so many things I could point out, but instead I focused on the one aspect that seemed the easiest for her to talk about-the physical discomfort of being pregnant. "You keep rubbing your side."
She grimaced and looked at the spot that she was now firmly holding. "Maximus keeps kicking me in the exact same spot." She sighed when she returned her eyes to mine. "I think he's bruised a rib or two."
The remark left my mouth before I could stop it. "Well, he wouldn't be part Griffin if he wasn't a pain in your side."
Anna smirked at me. "He's not as bad as you think he is."
Remembering the few surprising conversations I'd had with Griffin lately, I nodded. "I know."
Anna opened her eyes wide, like I'd just admitted to something so preposterous she could hardly believe it. I flicked my fingers across her shoulder, and she giggled. Seeing more humor in her demeanor, I asked the question I really wanted an answer to. "Are you okay with what happened earlier . . . with Griffin?"
The humor immediately vanished. "What do you mean?"
I contained a frustrated sigh. Those two were both so damn pigheaded, worse than Kellan and I ever were. "You told him you loved him, and he froze up like you just dipped him in carbonite."
Anna scowled and returned her eyes to the stage. "No, that doesn't bother me, Kiera. We don't have the hearts and flowers relationship that you and Kellan have." She shot me a quick glance out of the corner of her eye. "Which is fine. I don't need that romantic crap." She shrugged. "I was just joking around anyway. I didn't mean it."
She clamped her mouth shut and swallowed three times in a row. A new layer of moisture amplified the depth of her eyes, and I knew my sister was lying. She did mean it. She did love him. It did bother her. She did want more from him. But she wouldn't let herself admit it or feel it. When all else fails, deny, deny, deny.
Not knowing what else to do for her, I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Anna." Griffin may not be able to say it, but she should hear it from someone. Anna looked up at me, just as a tear dropped to her cheek. She immediately brushed it away and retuned her eyes to the D-Bags' stage. "He told me that he loved you," I added.
I thought my words would make her feel better, but all she looked was tired as she watched Griffin onstage. That could just be the pregnancy, though."I'm gonna go back to the bus and lie down. Let Griffin know? If he asks . . ."
Heart heavy, I told her that I would.