"Please."
Charles disappeared through the connecting doorway for a moment and reemerged carrying a slip of paper. Before Ellie realized what he was about, he hopped up onto the bed and stretched out beside her.
"Charles!"
He looked at her sideways and smiled. "I need one of your pillows to prop me up."
"Get out of my bed."
"I'm not in it, I'm on it." He yanked one of the pillows out from under her head. "There now, this is better."
Ellie, whose head was now perched at a bizarre angle, didn't think it was better in the least and she said so.
Charles ignored her and said, "Did you want to hear my list, or no?"
She waved her hand around in assent.
"Very well." He held the paper in front of him. " 'Number One'—Oh, by the way, this list is titled, 'Worse Things that Could Happen to Me.' "
"I hope I'm not on it," Ellie muttered.
"Nonsense. You're quite the best thing that has happened to me in recent memory."
She turned rather pink and was annoyed with herself for being so pleased at his statement.
"If it weren't for a few appallingly bad habits, you'd be perfect."
"I beg your pardon!"
He grinned wickedly. "I love when you beg my pardon."
"Charles!"
"Oh, very well, I suppose you did save my fortune, so I'm inclined to overlook some of the smaller bad habits."
"I have no small bad habits!" Ellie retorted.
"Yes, you're right," he murmured. "Only big ones."
"That is not what I meant and you well know it."
He crossed his arms. "Do you want me to read the list?"
"I'm beginning to think you don't have a list. I've never met anyone who changes the subject as often as you do."
"And I have never met anyone who talks as much as you do."
Ellie smirked. "I suppose you'll just have to accustom yourself to my mouthy ways, then, seeing as how you married me."
Charles turned his head sideways and looked at her assessingly. "Mouthy ways, eh? What sort of mouthy ways do you mean?"
She scooted away from him until she was almost falling off the bed. "Don't even think of kissing me, Billington."
"My name is Charles, and I wasn't thinking of kissing you. Although now that you mention it, it's not such a dreadful idea."
"Just... Read ... The ... List."
He shrugged. "If you insist."
Ellie thought she might scream.
"Now then." He held the list in front of his face and snapped the paper to attention. " 'Number One: Cecil could inherit the fortune.' "
"I thought Cecil would inherit."
"No, that's Phillip. Cecil would have to murder us both to inherit. If I hadn't married, he would only have had to kill Phillip."
Ellie gaped at him. "You sound as if you think he has considered it."
"I wouldn't put it past him," Charles said with a shrug. "Now then, 'Number Two: England could be annexed by France.'"
"Were you drunk when you made this list?"
"You must admit it would be a very bad thing. Worse than losing my fortune."
"How kind of you to put the welfare of Britain before your own," Ellie said acerbically.
He sighed and said, "I'm just that kind of man, I suppose. Noble and patriotic to a fault. 'Number Three—'"
"May I interject?"
He looked over at her with a beleaguered expression that clearly said, "You already have."
Ellie rolled her eyes. "I was merely wondering if these items are ranked."
"Why do you ask?"
"If they are ranked, that means you think it would be worse for Cecil to inherit your fortune than it would be for France to conquer England."
Charles let out a whoosh of air. "It's a close call. I'm not sure."
"Are you always this flippant?"
"Only about the important things. 'Number Three: the sky could fall to the earth. "
"Surely that is worse than Cecil inheriting your fortune!" Ellie exclaimed.
"Not really. If the sky were to fall to the earth, Cecil would be a bit too dead to enjoy my fortune."
"So would you," Ellie retorted.
"Hmmm. You're right. I might have to revise." He smiled at her again, and his eyes grew warm, although not, Ellie thought, with passion. His gaze seemed to hold something that was more akin to friendship—or at least that was what she hoped. Taking a deep breath, she decided to take advantage of the lovely moment and said, "I didn't set that fire, you know. It wasn't me."
He sighed. "Ellie, I know you would never do something like that purposefully."
"I didn't do it at all," she said sharply. "Someone tampered with the oven after I fixed it."
Charles let out another long breath. He wished he could believe her, but why would anyone tamper with the oven? The only people who knew how to work it were the servants, and they certainly had no reason to try to make Ellie look bad. "Ellie," he said placatingly, "perhaps you don't know quite as much about ovens as you think you do."
Her posture grew suddenly very tense.
"Or perhaps our oven is fashioned differently than yours."
Her jaw unclenched slightly, but she still looked extremely upset with him.
"Or perhaps," he said softly, reaching out and taking her hand in his, "perhaps you do know every bit as much about ovens as you say you do, but you made a small mistake. A new marriage can be very distracting."