Chapter Fifteen
The tension between Cooper and me during my lesson was almost unbearable, and when Miller waved at me from the beach a couple hours into training, I was relieved.
“I’ve got to go,” I said to Cooper, laying down on my board and maneuvering it around to face the shoreline. “It’s almost five and I’ve got this meet and greet with the crew and cast tonight at seve—”
He came up beside me, so that our elbows knocked against each other. I gripped the sides of my board tighter and glanced down at the Channel Islands logo. “I know,” he said softly, his voice hoarse. “Dickson’s asked me to come.”
My gaze popped up. “Really?”
Cooper’s brows pulled in and he pinched his lips together. Then, he gave me a sarcastic smile. “Guess my mum made me important enough to invite,” he said.
I flinched and took a deep breath to keep my voice from cracking. “I didn’t mean it like that. And I’m so sorry about what happened to your mom. I just—” When the words wouldn’t come, I paddled my arms to nudge my board forward.
He came up right beside me, unwilling to let me go. “You just what?” he demanded, his nostrils flaring.
“I wish I’d known who she was before we started this.” I arched my body slightly, staring through blurry eyes at the shore. “I wish I’d asked or something. I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I needed to get away from him. I needed to get away before I shoved my foot further down my own throat.
He released an agitated sigh. “It wouldn’t have changed what happened to her.”
No, it wouldn’t have.
“You want to know what the sad part is?” he continued, as he moved his board past mine. He looked over his shoulder and waited for my response.
“What?”
“I still want to take you into my place and bury myself inside of you until I—”
I sat up on my board, straddling the middle of it. “Until you what?” I questioned. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and yanked the front of my surfboard next to his. I gripped the edges firmly between my thighs to steady myself.
“Until I forget myself,” he murmured. “Or f**k, get this taste for you out of my mouth.”
We were still several feet from reaching the shore, so nobody would be able to see the way his fingertips skimmed my breast through my tankini or how my nipple instantly responded to his touch, hardening. I flushed, held my breath for a drawn out moment, and then relaxed.
“Is that something you really want to do?” I whispered. His gaze washed over every visible inch of me, starting at the top of my head, and I tugged my bathing suit top down to cover the patch of stomach that was exposed.
“The question is, is that what you really want?” he asked.
“I just want to know if it’s bothering you to be around me after what happened,” I said all in one breath. When his eyebrows furrowed together, I squeezed my eyed shut. “Don’t make me say it out loud.”
“If you want me to answer the damn question, you will.”
My eyes flew open and narrowed into a glare. “I’ve got a history, Cooper, and it’s scary when my—” I struggled to find the right word to describe what he was to me at this point and finally heaved a sigh. “I’m scared that you’re drawn to me because you feel bad for me.”
His expression changed to something unreadable and he pointed down at my board. “Let’s go back in before another wave hits.”
Clenching my teeth, I stretched out on my board and began paddling back to the shore, my arms and legs tingling the entire time. The moment both our feet hit dry land, though, Cooper gave me a dark look. “Get rid of your bodyguard for a little while. We need to talk.” When I didn’t budge, he pulled in a deep breath through his nose, crossing his suntanned arms over his chest. “I’ll call you out at Dickson’s party, Wills, if you don’t hear me out.”
I was seething when I stalked over to Miller, who was patiently waiting for me on a beach towel, but I coaxed a smile onto my face. “I’m going inside with Cooper to talk for a few minutes.” He lifted an eyebrow and I forced a laugh. “About surfing and movie stuff. Can you—I don’t know—hang out in the shop with Eric and Paige?”
Even though he never dropped the concerned expression, Miller muttered, “Sure, Willow.”
When we stepped into Cooper’s house, Miller disappeared into the shop where Eric and Paige were signing up two new students—twins from the look of it. Cooper wrapped his fingers around mine and led me upstairs to his bedroom. As he slammed the door behind us, part of me expected him to put my back up against the wall like he did the other night, but when I saw the look in his eyes, I knew that wasn’t going to happen.
Disappointment. Complete and utter disappointment that made me crumple against the wall all on my own.
“Let me make this clear,” he said. He took a deep breath, squeezed the bridge of his nose and turned around for a moment, facing the king-sized bed. When he faced me again, his shoulders were squared. “Am I hell bent on protecting you? Yeah, I’d rip someone apart to keep you safe. Are you a pity f**k for me? Absolutely not because I’ve wanted you more than anything.”
“I’m f**ked up, Cooper,” I said, and when my voice hitched, he closed the space between us, lifting my eyes until our gazes were equal.
“We’ll fix you.”
He took both my hands into his and drew me across the room. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he pulled me onto him so that I straddled him. We were both still wet from being in the sea, and his bedspreads dampened beneath our bodies.