All she needed to do was focus on the people whose lives would be saved as a result of her choices. Lives that would be far better than anything she had experienced. Braith would be good, he would be kind, and he would be fair. She was willing to do everything she could to see this terrible situation through, including going to Gideon now. Hopefully Braith would eventually find a way to forgive her and move on. The possibility that he never would nearly broke her.
If Jack was wrong about being able to dilute Braith’s blood with another vampire’s, than there was only one solution, and she was certain Jack would never be willing to carry it out. Jack would not allow her to be harmed, and he most certainly would not be the one to do it.
Gideon would understand though, and though he wasn’t a bad man, she felt he would have no qualms about being the one to end her life in order to ensure peace. Swallowing heavily, gathering her waning courage, Aria took a deep breath, twisted the knob and slid silently into Gideon’s temporary house. He was in the study, the shadows and planes of his face were highlighted by the candle before him. He looked up at her as she entered.
He didn’t seem surprised to see her as she slid the hood of her cloak back. “I spoke with Jack and Ashby.”
Gideon froze for a moment, his hand curled around the pen he was holding. “I see.”
She was silent as she gathered her courage to speak. Once she uttered these words she would never be able to take them back. “I understand what needs to be done.”
Gideon placed his pen down. “You do?”
For a brief moment tears shimmered in her eyes before she blinked them back, thrust out her chin and nodded firmly. “I do.”
“He cannot know about this.”
“He never will.”
Gideon appeared lost in thought for a moment. “Your relationship cannot progress.”
She flinched; did everyone know their business? For a moment she thought her composure would crumble. “It won’t” she whispered.
Aria remained silent, watchful as the flame flickered over Gideon’s features. What was she doing here? The right thing or at least that’s what she told herself. But was it really the right thing? She was betraying Braith; she was going behind his back and plotting something that would devastate him. This was right on so many levels, but it was wrong on so many others. Guilt tugged at her heart, perhaps if she went to Braith…
She broke the thought off. He would never agree to let her go. He would never listen to reason. Jack was right, if she went to Braith and told him everything, he would take her and leave here tonight. There were so many things she loved about him; his determination, his stubbornness, and his love for her were among the things she loved most. Unfortunately, those three things completely worked against all of them right now. This was wrong, she would hate herself forever because of it, but she could live with that as long as this all worked out and Braith was able to establish the world she knew he could.
She turned away from Gideon, but her step was not so sure or as silent as she made her way to the door. “You know what this may mean for you?”
She stopped in the doorway, her head turned back as she studied him over her shoulder. “If we are unable to dilute his blood in me my death may be the only solution to separating us for good.”
“And you accept this?”
“It’s what I came to you for,” she breathed half fearful he would tell her no; half fearful he would refuse to be the one to do it. She’d taken a risk coming to him for this; it could all backfire on her.
“No one else can know about this.” There it was then, the deal had been struck. If another vampire’s blood, and distance, did not break Braith’s ability to track her they both understood what would have to happen.
She would die, and Gideon would be the one to do it.
“They won’t,” she vowed.
CHAPTER 17
“Would you like to take a walk?”
Aria turned away from the window she had been staring out. She was doing everything she could to keep up a brave front, to keep smiling, and to act normal. But it was so hard, harder than anything she’d ever done in her life. They were leaving tomorrow; she was actually looking forward to plunging back into those hideous swamps. At least it would help keep her mind off of everything and it meant they would be getting closer to the war, a war she desperately wanted over.
Braith was standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. His dark hair was disheveled and there was actually an amused gleam in his eyes as he lazily perused her. Heat flooded her body, her toes curled as that look seemed to sear right through her clothes and straight into her flesh. It took everything she had to focus her attention on his words again.
She frowned in confusion at the book clasped carelessly in his elegant fingers. Then she recalled that she’d been the one to take it from Gideon’s home. She’d forgotten that she even had it, but he must have found it in her bag.
It was Ivanhoe; she knew that without having to see the title. It was the first book they had read together, the one that he had taught her how to read with. She had vowed that she wouldn’t cry anymore, she’d chosen her path, but even so she battled against the tears that threatened to break free at the sight of that book and the memories it elicited.
“Jack tells me there’s a lake close by.”
“There is,” she confirmed.
He smiled. “Then let’s go explore it.”
They had so little time left; she was not going to spend it moping. She was going to cherish every moment, not cry and ruin everything from here on out. “I’d love to.”