“Wait!” she gasped.
He froze against her, his hand pressed flat to her lower belly as he lifted his head to look at her. “Arianna?” The word was a low, anguished groan.
“I… I…” she couldn’t get words out.
“Do you want me to stop?”
No, she didn’t want him to stop. Her body was screaming for this! She needed this almost as badly as she needed air. She ached with every fiber of her being, she wanted this more than she had ever wanted anything and she couldn’t have it. For a moment she almost broke and told him everything. She was ready to pour her heart and soul out to him, but she somehow managed to bite the words back.
She knew Braith would do everything he could for the people he would lead, but he wouldn’t put them ahead of her. He believed in duty and honor but he’d made it abundantly clear to her, and those closest to them, that she was his priority. She loved him for it but it didn’t help the people whose hope was placed in his ability to lead.
“I just… I don’t know…” His hand slid away from her and she immediately felt a profound sense of loss. Her hands clenched around his neck unwilling to completely break their connection.
“You’re not ready.” She was ready, she was unbelievably ready. She was in love with a man that would die for her. There was nothing that she wanted more than to experience this moment with him. “It’s ok.” He kissed her nose, her cheek then her lips ever so lightly. “I’ll be here waiting when you are.”
Tears burned her eyes. She had never hated herself more than she did at that moment. “I love you. I’ll always love you.”
His fingers caressed her face. “I hope so, because you’re stuck with me.” Nope, now she hated herself more, especially as she forced a smile to her lips. She didn’t ask him why he took this so well, why he didn’t become impatient with her. She already knew the answer to that: he loved her. “How about a swim? I could use a dip in something cold.”
His halfhearted smile melted her heart. She wanted to finish what they had started. She wanted to say to hell with Jack, and Gideon, and everyone else. She wanted to be selfish, she wanted this for them, and she wanted to finally ease the needs of her body and his, to possess him in every way possible. Finally know only the things that he could teach her. But then she thought of Max and knew that she would never do, or know, any of those things. There were others out there in need of help, others that had no one to rescue them as she and Max had been rescued.
She threaded her fingers through his and pressed them close against her chest, over the heart that would always belong to him. “That sounds good,” she murmured.
He climbed to his feet; she hesitated for a moment, ashamed of herself, but determined to see this course through. “Aria?”
She rose swiftly and bent to roll the legs of her pants above her knees. Her eyes widened and her mouth watered as Braith’s shirt fell on top of hers. She lifted her head slowly, marveling at the broad expanse of his shoulders, and the rigid muscles etched into his chest and abdomen. Her breath wheezed out, heat flared up her cheeks, not from embarrassment but rather from her intense need for this man standing so close but at the same time so far away.
She had always desired him, there was never any doubt of that, but it had never been this relentless. She almost said “screw it all” to the world and launched herself at him but she managed to hold herself back. She’d never been quite as completely rattled and utterly undone as she was right at this moment.
Confusion flickered over his features, she was well aware her thoughts were written all over her face. She turned away from him, running hard, pumping her arms and legs as fast as she could in order to escape him. She had to put some distance between them before she completely caved. She didn’t hesitate as she grabbed the bottom branch of a large oak, swung her leg onto it and pulled herself up. She leapt up to the next branch, then the one above it as she raced out to the end and launched herself heedlessly outward, not caring how deep the water was as she dove into it.
She kicked hard beneath the surface, pushing herself deeper and deeper into the lake. She swam into the cooler depths as the world under the water became darker and further removed from sunlight. Her lungs began to burn, her eyes were raw from straining to see, but she continued onward, heedless of the pain starting to seize hold of her body.
Strong hands grabbed hold of her, dragging her from the depths of the cool water, pulling her back toward a world that she didn’t want to face. Bursting free of the surface, she wheezed in a deep breath as her lungs eagerly inhaled the precious air.
“What are you doing?” Braith demanded, shaking her a little.She shoved the mass of tangled wet hair from her eyes, forcing a smile as she met his annoyed gaze. “Just seeing if I could touch the bottom.”
His scowl deepened. “You didn’t even know if it was deep enough when you dove off that branch!”
“I’ve jumped into more than a few lakes in my lifetime.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “Always so reckless,” he muttered.
His hands on her were enough to make her toes curl and heat spread through her body despite the chill of the water. She squeezed his bare arms, savoring in the firm flesh and fine hairs that bristled over it before she reluctantly released him. She moved onto her back, floating lazily through the water as Braith’s fingers slid into hers.
***
Frustration boiled through him, his fingers twitched as his irritation mounted. He couldn’t stand to watch as Aria labored through the swamp with her brother and the rest of the humans. It wasn’t like it was easy for him and the other vampires, but their greater power and strength made it less difficult to move through the water and mud that clasped at them like quicksand with each step. She looked exhausted but continued onward, her head bowed, her face scrunched in aggravation as she worked at pulling one foot out at a time.