“But I—“
“Are you deaf?!” I shrieked, my cool, my sanity slipping right through my fingers. “Maybe you’re used to ignoring everyone’s feelings but your own. Kissing who you want. Fucking who you want. But I said that this conversation is done. Over. I don’t want you. I don’t need you. I’m not your wife!”
He reared back like the smack I’d attempted last night finally landed and blew him away. He’d gone too far when he pressed his mouth against mine, but I’d just bested him. Using her name as a dagger, sinking it deep in his chest, was lower than low.
I’d gone too far.
The cool he’d exuded melted as sweat exploded at his temple, shooting past bulging veins. His green eyes were flints of ivy as his nostrils flared. He edged closer and panic gripped me tight, pinning me in the corner. My back was pressed against the file cabinet and I realized that maybe there was something to those rumors about his temper. There was no alcohol in my system to screen any of this. This was pure, unfiltered Cade…and I didn’t know whether he was going to explode and knock me out flat.
I put up my fists. I didn’t stand a chance, but at least I’d go down swinging.
He ground to a halt, all the color draining from his face. “You don’t think—“ The anger in his eyes became something else…shame. “Oh God. Leila I would never…” His voice was pinched and painful. “I would never, ever hurt you. You have to know that.”
I relaxed my fists, but I still held them out, creating a barrier. “I’m not so sure, Cade. I don’t think I know you.” I dropped my hands to my side, but I wasn’t done. “You’re smiling, you’re charismatic, then you’re depressed and a hack. You’re a sage, telling me about the pitfalls of fame and then you court it by snapping up photographs. You lose your shit at the studio in true rock star fashion then tell me you miss simpler times. It’s confusing, Cade. And I don’t want any part of it.” I took a breath. “I’m not sure why you chose me, but un-choose me. I can’t bear anymore of this.”
He moved to the door, his face hooded and unreadable.
Before he could turn the doorknob I added, “And I’m off your case. We have no reason to communicate. Ever.”
He glanced back at me. “You’re right. You don’t know me. I can tell you that I can be an ass**le. I can be a guy that no one wants to know. But I’m certain of one thing--you make me want to be better.”
He left without another word, dropping the bomb. Leaving me to deal with the confusing fallout.
I knew Jacob was in a meeting, but a glance at my watch told me he should be back. I was glad that Natasha wasn't at her desk, because I knew my run in with Cade would have been all over my face.
His door was open and the office unoccupied but I stepped inside, hoping that just being in Jacob's space would help me calm down.
Standing up did me no favors so I sunk into the chair in the lounge area. I dropped my hands off the side, running my fingers along the fibers of the rug until something sharp cut into my finger.
I brought the finger to my mouth, the grating sting obviously a paper cut. I searched for the culprit, thinking maybe a document fell from a folder, but there was only a single, white envelope.
I brought it up to the light, my heart jumping in my chest when I saw it was addressed to Alicia Whitmore.
Jacob's mother.
You know that voice in your head whose whispers you hear during important points in your life, trying to steer you onto certain paths? Mine was telling me to just put the letter back. It wasn't for me. It was none of my business.
I ignored it, untucking the flap and pulling out the note. I told myself I'd stop after I read the first sentence.
I appreciate the offer to come to the Hamptons. Just a few more sentences. And I’m glad that you’ve come to a decision about giving me Nan’s wedding ring-
My mouth went dry. Wedding ring? My head spun and I couldn't help but squeal with delight. Jacob was talking to his mom about proposing to me?!
-but I think I may have been a little premature asking for it.
Dread crept in and locked its fingers around my throat.
You told me about your regrets, and how I should never take marriage lightly. If I'm being honest, I'm not sure if I'm ready to take that leap. I'm not sure about a lot of things.
I’m not sure where Leila and I stand.
I let go of the paper, watching it flutter to the ground. I tried to convince myself that my eyes deceived me. That he'd written those words out of anger, when the wounds from Cade were still fresh.
But there was a date at the left corner of the paper.
Yesterday's date.