Marlie fiercely controlled the impulse to let her own gaze drift downward. After what she had felt yesterday morning on the porch, she was fairly certain what she would see. Despite herself, she was charmed by his air of slight bemusement at his body’s response, and it took all of her willpower not to let it show. It just wouldn’t do. He was going to be difficult enough to discourage as it was, without letting him see how very much she wished things could be different. She had always longed for a normal relationship, but she had always been set apart, first by her own talents, then by Gleen.
“It won’t work,” she said aloud.
He looked downward again. “You think so? I dunno,” he said doubtfully, “it looks like it will work pretty well to me.”
Startled, she laughed aloud, and quickly clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. He grinned at her again, making her heart do acrobatics even as she tried to control herself. He was far more dangerous than she had feared; he could make her laugh.
“I can’t,” she said, sobering quickly. Her voice was soft, with an undertone of regret that she couldn’t hide. “Gleen—”
With two long steps he reached her, closing his hands on her waist. The humor fled his face as if it had never existed. “Gleen is dead. The only way he can hurt you anymore is if you let him.”
“Do you think it’s that easy?”
“Hell, no, I don’t think it’s easy. I’m a cop, remember. I’ve seen what rape victims go through.”
“I wasn’t—”
“Technically raped? I know. But he tried, and beat the hell out of you because he couldn’t. Your reaction probably isn’t any different than if he had been able to penetrate.”
She laughed again, but this time the sound was harsh, tearing. “It’s a little different. I wish he had raped me. I lie awake at night and know that if he’d been able to get an erection, maybe if I hadn’t fought him so hard, that little boy would still be alive! But he got more and more frenzied, and I kept struggling, and all of a sudden he left me and attacked the little boy.” She was silent for a minute. “His name was Dustin,” she said. “His parents called him Dusty.”
Dane’s hands tightened convulsively on her waist, then relaxed. “It wasn’t your fault; no one can predict what a madman will do. But that’s a bad thing to have to deal with,” he said quietly. His chest was tight with suppressed emotion. Gently he smoothed her hair, then slid his fingers under the warm, silky weight to cup her head in his big hand. “Have you ever told anyone everything that happened that night?”
She shook her head. “Not everything. Not the details. It was too… ugly.”
“Have you ever told anyone else what you just told me?”
“No.” She looked up, confusion in her eyes. “I don’t know why I did.”
“Because there’s something between us, and you can’t deny it any more than I can. We aren’t comfortable with each other yet, but one day it will be okay. I can wait. And I can wait until you’re ready to make love, too.”
Frustrated at his stubbornness, at her inability to convince him, she shook her head. She didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. “You’re so damn sure of yourself.”
“Trust me,” he murmured. His hard fingers massaged her skull, relieving tension she hadn’t even been aware of. “You’ll think about it now, and the more you think about it, the more used to the idea you’ll get. Then you’ll start getting curious, wondering about how we would be together. You’ve done a good job putting your life back together, but you’re too smart not to know that until you can trust a man in bed again, you’re still letting Gleen have a hold over you. The next step is obvious. And I can promise you one thing: If anyone gets in bed with you, it’s going to be me.”
Before she could think of a response to that supremely self-confident statement, he took her by the hand and led her back into the living room. His palm was callused, his fingers hard and warm. His touch was consciously gentle, that of a man who was very aware of his own strength and was careful not to squeeze. There was something beguiling about his hand linked with hers, a subtle asking for, and reassurance of, trust. She felt oddly safe with him, though not safe from him.
“Let’s sit down,” he said, urging her toward the couch. Belatedly she tried to detour to a chair, but he tugged her to the couch and pulled her down beside him. He kept her hand folded in his as he settled back with a sigh of relief, stretching his long, muscular legs out before him. “Airplane seats aren’t made for anyone over five and a half feet tall. I still feel cramped.”
“Why don’t you go home,” she said tiredly. “It’s late.”
“Because we still need to talk.”
She shook her head and tried to tug her hand free. It was a useless effort. “We don’t have anything to talk about.”
“I’ve got some more questions about what you saw Friday night.”
She stiffened. She couldn’t help it; every time she was reminded of that evil, something inside her froze. “I’ve already told you everything. Tomorrow’s a workday, and I’d like to get some sleep.”
“Just a few minutes,” he coaxed, smiling at her. That little crook of his mouth caused another disruption in her cardiac rhythm, and she quickly looked away. Whoever would have thought that such a roughhewn face could produce such a charming smile? He shouldn’t be allowed to do anything except frown, for her own protection.