“What happened to Simon wasn’t your fault, Sam,” Maddie answered quietly, her voice soothing.
“Bullshit! I was his big brother. I should have gotten him out sooner. I should have known they’d take revenge on whoever was available.” Releasing Maddie, he slumped back on the couch.
“You were barely an adult yourself. How could you have known?”
“I should have known. I’d seen these people in action since I could walk,” he answered softly, dangerously.
“Why didn’t you find me later? After the whole thing ended?” Maddie queried, her voice tremulous.
“It took over a year until every branch of the organization was closed down. My mother, Simon and I were under FBI protection here in Tampa until every boss was behind bars or dead,” he answered, his voice low and thoughtful.
“But after that, why didn’t you find me?”
“I did.” Sam clenched his fists, hating to think about the day he had gone to find her. He’d already known he had lost her, but that particular day was the time that it really sunk in, that he had to admit to himself that his Maddie was gone forever.
“I never saw you again,” she answered, confused.
“I saw you. This time it was me who had to see you with another man with his tongue down your throat.” He frowned, his face fierce. “I tracked you down on campus, but some dark-haired guy who looked like a jock was all over you. I thought you looked happy. He looked like he came from money and could make you happy. You’d moved on with your life and I couldn’t blame you for finding someone better.” Fuck. That hurt.
“Lance,” she whispered. “We started dating a little over a year after what happened. You should have talked to me.”
“Why? All it would have done is screwed up your life. I didn’t have a f**king thing to offer, Maddie. I was barely out of danger from a lengthy FBI involvement. Broker than shit from trying to support my family. Simon was going to school. I stopped so he could study. Once he was old enough to work part-time I went back to finish my own degree. You had a guy who looked like a much better option than me back then.” Maddie would never know how hard it had been to walk away, to leave her in the arms of another man. But Kate had been right when she said if you really care about someone you do what’s best for them. “Had I known that he was a bastard who wasn’t going to marry you and who treated you poorly, I would have taken you away from him in a f**king heartbeat. I assume that he was the one sexual relationship you mentioned? That guy was the son of a bitch who told you that you weren’t sexy?” God, what he wouldn’t do to have his hands around the ass**le’s neck right now. He hated himself for leaving his precious Maddie in the care of someone who didn’t deserve her.
“Yeah. We didn’t really date that long. Six months.” She shuddered as she looked up at Sam, the pain in her eyes almost tangible. “I was so lonely and I wanted to forget you.”
“And you haven’t tried again since then?” he asked, his voice gentler, curious.
Maddie shook her head. “No. I’ve dated casually, but there was…nothing.”
Sam reached out his hand and captured one of the tears on her cheek with his finger and brought it to his lips. “Jesus, Maddie. I can’t imagine any man letting you get away.”
“Except you.” She smiled sadly.
“You haven’t gotten away from me yet, and this time you won’t,” he answered harshly. “I want you to marry me. You never gave me an answer.
Sam looked at the agonized expression on her face and it nearly brought him to his knees. He needed her to say yes. Desperately. His sanity was beginning to depend on it.
“We don’t even know each other anymore. I don’t know what to say right now,” she told him honestly.
“Say yes.”
Oh, f**k yeah. Saying no was not an option. Sam moved her onto his lap. He needed to hold her right now, had to have her softness in his arms.
She squealed and tried to squirm away, but he didn’t let her. “Either sit quietly or I’ll have you on your back and moaning within a few seconds,” he warned her ominously. “I can’t handle much of that delicious ass squirming on my c**k before I tear those sexy clothes from your body and taste every inch of you.”
She stilled immediately and wrapped her arms around his neck. “What happened to Kate?” she asked curiously, resting her head on his shoulder.
Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. I never saw her again after the investigation. She was married. Happily married with two kids. She had no desire to mess with me. I was a dumb kid to her. It was all a ruse that she executed to force me to cut things off with you.” He thrust a hand into her hair, massaging her scalp. “So, what’s your answer, Maddie?”
“Sam, I haven’t even digested the information you just told me. You can’t expect me to agree to marry you.” She pulled back and shot him a disgruntled look.
“If you don’t believe me, you can ask Simon. He doesn’t know about us, but he can verify everything else,” he told her, disappointed that she might not believe him after he had bared his soul to her.
“It isn’t that. I just need time.” She sighed. “It’s been years, Sam. We’ve changed. We don’t know each other now.”
“We’ve always known each other, Sunshine. My soul recognized yours the moment I saw you.” And it was the truth. It hadn’t taken him more than a moment to see her value, to know that she was special. “Fine, tell me yes tomorrow then.” He was feeling magnanimous now that he had her exactly where he wanted her.
Maddie snorted. “That’s very kind of you, but I think I may need a little longer than that.”
Tilting her face, he speared her with a possessive glance. “How much longer?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, her eyes sad.
Dammit! He didn’t want her dejected. He wanted her to want him. No…he needed her to want him. “I’ll seduce you. Then I’ll f**k you until you don’t have the strength to say anything except yes. No one is planting their seed inside you except me.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “Nobody has ever planted their seed inside me. Lance used a condom and I haven’t had anything but my vibrator since.”
Something raw and carnal nailed Sam in the gut, the thought of Maddie pleasuring herself making his already-rigid c**k jump, feral instinct making him want to be the first to release himself into her womb. He had never had sex without a condom. In that way, Maddie would be his first, his only since he never planned on being with any other woman again. “And how’s the vibrator?” he choked out, barely able to form the words.