“You lied to me.” He snarled.
“Huh, what?” I was confused yet again.
“You said it was okay.”
“Yes, and it was.” I mean obviously I had enjoyed myself, what was his problem?
“Are you on birth control?”
“Huh?” Oh shit! He hadn’t used a condom.
“I’m pretty sure I can answer that question. I mean why would a virgin be on birth control?”
I wanted to answer that I knew many people who were on birth control for reasons other than sex but I didn’t think he would be too happy.
“I’m sorry. I misunderstood your question.”
He looked at me suspiciously. “Really, you lied about your experience, your age…hmm, did you lie about not knowing who I am?”
“What?! No!” I looked at him in shock.
“Are you trying to trap me with a baby.”
“A baby? What, no, no, no.” Shit, what if I was pregnant now? I couldn’t even afford rent. I didn’t want to think about moving back to Florida with a baby in tow.
Hamilton sighed and helped me up with him. He handed me my panties and I put them on as dignified as I can.
“I don’t want a kid Jenny and I don’t want a relationship. Do you understand that?”
“Uhm, yes.” I couldn’t believe this was the man who had brought me so much pleasure just minutes before. I know I had wanted a cool experience for my first time but this wasn’t what I had planned or dreamed of.
“You should leave now Jenny. You need to think. I need to think.”
“Ok.” Shit, I did feel like an escort now.
“Come back tomorrow and we can decide what to do next.” And with that he sat down in his chair on got on the phone. I had been dismissed. I couldn’t believe it. I picked up my briefcase and headed to the elevator my mind in a daze. I had no idea what I was going to do the next day.
Chapter 4
I walked out of the Verona building feeling like a tramp. I wasn’t sure what to do. I looked at my watch and saw it was only noon. How could I show up back home within a few hours? Lucy would be so disappointed in me- especially when she found out what I had done. All of a sudden it didn’t seem so exciting and titillating. It felt cheap and degraded and I felt cheap and degraded and ashamed of myself.
I took the subway to Times Square for a bit but the bright lights and people were too depressing for me, so I took the train back uptown. I had already decided that I was going to tell Lucy; it was too juicy to keep to myself.
“Oh Jenny.” Lucy rushed up to me as I walked to the door to hug me. “I’m so sorry.” Huh, how did she know?
I leaned into Lucy’s shoulder and cried. “Hey Jenny, it’s okay. It was a long shot that they would believe your story.” I cried some more. I wished that was the reason I was crying.
“Oh Lucy, I made such a mistake.” I sobbed.
“It’s okay Jen, I promise it will be okay.’
“No,” I wailed. “I’m a tramp.” I reached into my purse and pulled out the $3000 that Hamilton had given me. “I’m a tramp.”
Lucy looked at me in shock, then at the money and then at me again. “Okay Jen, I think there is more to this story than I thought. Go ahead and tell me what happened.”
We sat down on the coach and told her about Hamilton Verona’s proposition and how I let him have sex with me. And the money and how he treated me at the end.
“He sounds like a jerk Jen but I don’t think he thinks you are a tramp.” Lucy said softly.
“You should have seen have he treated me at the end, when he thought I may be pregnant.” I sobbed. “He thought I did it on purpose. That I was some sort of gold-digger.”
“Jen, you have to think that that’s not so far-fetched. Here he is a millionaire, here you are an admitted broke college graduate, who lied to get a job she wasn’t qualified for. Maybe he thinks you wanted a free ride.”
I look at her angrily but don’t retort the words in my mind. It was true; he had no reason to believe otherwise. I sighed. “I guess it didn’t help that I left with the money.”
Lucy laughed. “Oh Jenny.”
“He was just so rude.” I pouted.
“Jenny, I don’t want to sound insensitive or anything but what if you are pregnant? What are you going to do?”
I looked at Lucy hesitantly. “I’ll keep it I think.”
“I’ll help you, I promise.” Lucy squeezed my hand. Oh how I loved her, a girl couldn’t ask for a better friend.
“So what should I do Luce?” I couldn’t believe I was even considering going back to Verona the next day.
“Could you do it Jen?”
“What?”
“Sleep with a man that you didn’t have a relationship with? Always feel used?” She questioned me, not meaning to be malicious.
“No, I don’t think I can. Even if the sex was always that good.” I smiled to myself. At least I would always have that one crazy lovely moment. “I never knew it was that good Lucy, it was amazing.”
Lucy leaned into me, “I want you to tell me all about it Jen, if it doesn’t make you feel bad.” Lucy was a virgin like me, but no one could believe it because she was beautiful. She looked like a modern day Snow White.
“I’ll tell you more about it later. I think I should return the money, don’t you?” I didn’t really want to as we really needed to pay rent, but I couldn’t accept the money. It wouldn’t be right, no matter how rich he was.
“Yeah, we’ll figure something out. Mail it with delivery confirmation, that way you never have to go back to the office.”
“That’s a good idea,” I smiled. “I don’t know that I could face him again. A wave of sadness washed over me. I didn’t really know Hamilton Verona and I thought he was a pompous ass but I was really going to miss him. I had felt a real connection when I had been with him but I wasn’t willing to risk my emotional stability to try and find out what could be between the two of us.
***
It had been 2 days since Jenny had been in my office and I was feeling anxious. I could not believe how annoyed I felt that she hadn’t come back to the office. I had been planning on telling her that I didn’t think the special position was going to work out. I had the $10,000 in an envelope on my desk still ready to give her. But she hadn’t shown up and I was granted another sleepless night. I couldn’t get her out of my mind and I didn’t like it.