“She introduced you to the clubs?” Sophie looked at him in surprise.
“She has a lot of demons, Sophie.” He tapped his fingers against the wheel. “That’s how we bonded. We both wanted to escape the burdens of our lives.”
“What was wrong with her?”
“I don’t know.” Max looked at her in sorrow. “I never cared enough to find out.”
“But you were engaged.” Sophie looked at him shocked.
“Not because I loved her. We were so high on coc**ne the night I proposed. It was my way of getting her to stop.”
“Stop what?”
“From trying to fly off the top of the Empire State Building.”
“What?” Sophie’s voice cracked.
“She thought she was Superwoman. She wanted to go and save the world.”
“From who?”
“I don’t know.” He sighed. “I was selfish. I only worried about my own problems.”
“Oh.” Sophie felt sad.
“She was about to jump because she thought she could fly. And even though, I was high, I knew that something was wrong. That she shouldn’t jump.”
“Does coc**ne do that to people?”
“I think she was on ecstasy as well, maybe even mushrooms.” He sighed. “I think she may have been in love with someone else as well. She reminded me of myself. She acted heartbroken.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. So I proposed. I told her she couldn’t save the world just yet because I wanted her to save me. To marry me and to stay with me.”
“You wanted her to save you?” Sophie turned her face and looked out the window with tears welling in her eyes. “That’s a lot to ask of someone you don’t love.”
“I only said it to get her to come to me, Sophie. You have to understand that. I didn’t want her to jump.”
“It just sounds like more than you would tell someone you didn’t love, Max.”
Max pulled the car into a parking lot and turned to Sophie. “Let’s go home, Sophie. Please. Let’s just forget this. This is not a good path for us to go down. I don’t foresee this doing any good for our relationship.”
“I need to see this, Max.” Sophie turned to him with pained eyes. “I need to understand how the Max I love could have gotten someone pregnant and not known about it. How the Max I love could have been with someone like Alexis. How the Max I love could have all these secrets. I need to know, Max.”
“I can’t lose you, Sophie.” His voice was pained. “I’ve been waiting all my life for you. I’ve literally gone to hell and back hoping that I would have a chance with you. And now that I have you, I can’t lose you.”
“Max, you will never lose me. There is nothing you could have done that will make me leave you. There is nothing that you could do that would make me turn my back on you. I’ve lived with my heart consumed by you for so many years that you own it by now.”
“I own your heart?”
Sophie nodded. “And you’re the only one that can return it.”
“I’ll never return it. Your heart is the most precious possession I’ve ever been given.” He smiled at her and kissed her hard before placing his hand over her heart. “The beat of your heart signifies to me, my own life, you give me life, Sophie.”
“And we have a wonderful life to live, Max.” She placed his hand over her stomach. “We’re having a baby, Max. Someone who will represent the best of both of us. Someone that was created by all of our love.”
“It scares me, Sophie.”
“Why?” Sophie looked at him in concern ignoring the people who were walking past their car looking in with interest.
“I’m scared I’m going to love our baby more than I love Jacob.” He looked at her with worry in her eyes. “I’m scared it will be evident and Jacob will be scarred for life, knowing that he wasn’t the baby that we wanted, that he wasn’t truly ours. That I never loved his mother.”
“Oh Max.” Sophie stared at him in wonder. “I had no idea you felt this way.”
“Maybe I should do a paternity test?” Max looked at Sophie for an answer.
“Do you know who the other father could be?” She looked at him frowning.
“Yes.” His voice was firm and he looked away. “Yes I do.”
“And would he make a good father?” Sophie paused. “And would he want to be in the baby’s life?”
“No.” Max’s face was hard. “He wouldn’t acknowledge the baby. He’s married, Sophie.”
“Oh.”
“And he’s an important figure. It would lead to a lot of trouble. I can’t say much more now.” He frowned. “It’s complicated and I don’t want you involved.”
“Don’t do a paternity test.” Sophie grabbed his hand. “A baby doesn’t need all this strife. He’ll never grow up happy in those circumstances. We will make good parents, Max.”
“Can you love him, Sophie?”
“Yes.” Sophie thought about Jacobs’s innocent face. “Yes, I can love him.” She bit her lip and started playing with her hair and looked out of the window. “I never told anyone this before but my uncle, the one that raised me, he dated my mother before she married my dad. And he really, really loved her. But then she met his brother, my dad, and they fell head over heels in love. And my mom ditched my uncle and married my dad. It was years before my uncle finally married his best friend, my aunt, and they say that he never really got over my mom. When she died, they say he was devastated.”
“Oh your poor aunt.” Max looked at her in sympathy.
“Yes, it’s quite sad.” She looked at him sorrowfully. “But my aunt never loved me less. She never looked at me with distaste or hurt or even hate. She loved me with all of her heart and while I was lonely I never doubted her love for me. I want to be that person for Jacob. No child deserves to feel like he wasn’t wanted or good enough. It’s not his fault that his parents made poor decisions.”
“And that is why I love you, Sophie.” He brought her towards him and they hugged awkwardly through the seatbelts. “Your heart is so huge.”
“Remember that, Max.” She grinned. “Now let’s go to the sex club.”
“Ha.” Max peered at her. “You look like you’re excited?”