"Low came to get your drunk ass from the bar last night.
When she got there you were all but screwing Jess on the dance floor. Hands all over her. Low went and snatched Jess off you and then when Jess proceeded to threaten her Low basically called her bullshit and sent her packing. From what I hear it was damn hot. Anyway, she then hauled your drunk ass home. You passed out in your truck. She had to get me to help her get you up the stairs and into bed. Then she proceeded to break down on me and cry. I cuddled her up in my arms like I always do when she's hurting and carried her to my bed where she told me all of this and then promptly fell asleep. Preston called and gave me the whole story as well."
I was going to be sick. What had I done? My chest ached, my stomach rolled and my head pounded. I'd sent her running into Cage's arms for comfort, again. I'd been the reason Jess threatened her. I'd put her in danger and she'd taken care of me.
DAMMIT
Dropping into the chair nearest to me I cradled my spinning head in my hands and fought the urge to cry like a damn baby.
"I thought I'd kill you when you hurt her, you know. But damned if I'm not just relieved that it's over. I don't even want to hurt you. I'm just so happy to have her back." That was all it took. I ran for the toilet and lost everything in my stomach. Several times. Then I slid down the wall and cried silently. It all came back to my father. He was the reason I got drunk. If I lost Will ow over this I'd kill him. I couldn't lose her. The idea hurt so bad it made breathing impossible.
The bathroom door opened slowly and I turned to look up at a very solemn Will ow. I soaked in the sight of her as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She handed me a cold wash cloth. "Here."
I took it unable to take my eyes off her as I washed the cold sweat from my face. Then she handed me the glass in her hands.
"Drink this. It'll help."
Taking it I took several small sips and watched her afraid she'd turn and leave. But she didn't. Instead she slid down the wall and sat down beside me.
"I'm sorry. I'm so so damn sorry, " I choked out.
She didn't respond. Instead she sat there staring down at her hands clasp tightly in her lap. I wanted to pull her in my arms and hold her. Keep her from leaving me. But I could smell the whiskey and smoke on my clothes. I stunk.
"You hurt me," she finally replied in a small voice. What little part of my heart was still in one piece shattered at her words. The lump in my throat constricted my airways.
"God, Low I'm so sorry." I wanted to profess my love but right now that sounded unbelievable. I didn't want those words to be tainted by this.
"I understand that you had a fight with your father. Preston explained that. But Marcus, what I don't understand is why you'd go drink so much that you were dancing and touching another woman. My sister and I fight all the time. I don't have a mom and sister like you do that love me. I have no family. The only family I have hates me. Larissa doesn't count because she's a baby. I know family problems suck Marcus. I have major problems. Things you don't know about. Issues that are eating me up inside. But none of that is an excuse for me to run off and get trashed and rub all over another guy."
I was a selfish, spoiled brat. She was right. If the roles had been reversed I'd have been a madman. I wouldn't be sitting beside her talking calmly the next morning. She was too good for me. I'd already figured this out, but now I knew how undeserving I was.
"You're right. I don't deserve you."
Will ow's hand reached out and covered mine and my body trembled from her touch. Shit I was going to cry right in front of her. Fighting the burn of tears in my eyes I couldn't look at her. Slowly I moved my thumb and hooked it through hers. I wasn't brave enough to completely take her hand. I couldn't handle it if she jerked it away.
"Don't ever do that to me again."
Her words sank in slowly and I turned my head to meet her gaze, no longer caring that my eyes were watery from unshed tears.
"Again? You mean you forgive me. It's not over?" I asked in disbelief.
She smiled and turned her hand over and threaded her fingers through mine holding it tightly.
"I forgive you," she said then reached out with her other hand and wiped the moisture in my eyelashes away. "How do I stay mad at this? Hmmm? You sitting here on the bathroom floor fighting back tears and looking completely defeated." She shifted closer and laid her head on my shoulder. "I love you, Marcus. Of course,I forgive you." Setting the glass in my hand down on the edge of the tub, I reached for her and pulled her into my arms. I needed to hold her. I'd almost lost her and I needed her close. She curled up against me and tears of relief rolled freely down my face.
"I love you too. So much Low. So very much. I promise you Low, I'll never hurt you again."
Willow
Over the next week Marcus went out of his way to do sweet romantic things for me. I came home from work one night to a candle lit bubble bath waiting on me. He left sweet little notes all over the place for me. A customer had even delivered one to me during work one night. I'd awakened twice to find a vintage Aerosmith concert t-shirt beside my pillow. One was a 1984 California and the other a 1986
Aero Force.
I was ready to take the next step but I was waiting on him.
He needed to reassure himself that I wasn't leaving him.
That he'd won my forgiveness. He had, of course. We'd led two very different lives. It wasn't fair of me to expect him to handle bad situations the same way I did. He'd grown up protected from bad situations. He didn't know how to roll with the punches. I'd been so eaten up with jealousy I'd wanted to punish him. I didn't want there to be a reason for him to behave the way he did. You can't expect a sheltered person to react to disappointment the way someone who'd only known disappointment reacted.