"We'll get them away, Emma," he said softly, soothingly. I looked over at him, suddenly worried that I could somehow hurt them no matter how far away they were from me. That would be my worst nightmare, my absolute worst. Teren smiled and cupped my cheek. As I heard other voices telling me that it would be alright, his sky blue eyes drew me in. "I won't let you hurt them, Emma. I'll keep them safe."
I nodded in his fingertips and he gave me a soft kiss. The kids giggled, not understanding the seriousness of the situation, only knowing that Mommy and Daddy were kissing. With a faked not-a-care-in-the-world smile, he twisted to them. "How would you two like to spend the night with Grandma Linda?"
My kids erupted in loud cheers, clapping their hands. Spike, sitting behind them in case they dropped anything to his level, barked and thumped his tail, almost like he'd understood the question and wanted to go see my mom too. I laughed at the trio and slapped on my fake smile. "Okay, but you need to go easy on Grandma. She's not as quick as your other Grandmas."
They both nodded, their little faces alive with yet another upcoming adventure. "We know, Mommy," Julian informed me. "Grandma's not a vampire." He stumbled a bit on the word, pronouncing it more with a W sound than a V, and I smiled genuinely at the innocence there. Soulless, bloodthirsty monsters? I don't think so.
I slightly frowned as I rethought that. For a moment, just a moment tonight, that was exactly what I'd be. Driven by pure eat-or-die instinct, I'd be the epitome of every late night horror show I'd ever seen. It was not a good weight to carry around, and I was relieved that my children wouldn't be there to witness it. Even though they'd go through it themselves one day, they shouldn't have to see a parent that way. It would be unsettling for them. And I wouldn't exactly be setting a good example.
Teren looked back at me while they laughed around their mouths stuffed with spiced bread. "I'll call and make arrangements for them and Spike."
I sighed and leaned into his side. "Don't tell her about me, okay?"
He kissed my hair, his arm slinking around me. "Are you sure? She would want to know what you're...going through."
Leaning my head on his shoulder, I looked over at Imogen and Alanna talking together in a bright patch of sunlight. Even though they were in a conversation themselves, about which cows should be given up...for me, I knew that they were partially listening to our conversation. "No, my mom would insist on being here, and it's not safe."
Into my hair, Teren whispered, "We could make her leave once you...fall asleep." I smiled and looked up at him. He meant when I died, but he didn't want to scare the children with that word. They still weren't entirely informed on what went down during a conversion. We weren't about to tell them either, not at three years old.
Frowning as I thought over the scenario he was referring to, I shook my head before laying it back on his shoulder. "No, I haven't told her yet about that part of this and..." Sighing, I watched Alanna twist to look at me. "No parent should have to watch their child...fall asleep."
Alanna smiled softly at me, her eyes shifting over to Teren. Imogen grabbed her hand and she looked back at her mom. I wondered if Imogen had watched her daughter die. As the youthful but grandmotherly vampire smiled remorsefully and cupped her daughter's cheek, I figured that she had.
Pulling back from Teren's shoulder, I looked up at him. "I wish you didn't have to see it." He twisted his lips and shook his head, but before he could speak, I quickly added, "But don't leave me."
His eyes watered a little and he shook his head before resting his forehead to mine. "I'm not going anywhere, Em. Nothing could tear me away from you right now." He leaned down to kiss me again, but a piece of toast sailing across the table distracted him. Straightening, he looked over at Nika and Julian pretend sword fighting with sticks of toast. "Don't play with your food."
Knowing the seriousness of our conversation, knowing the seriousness of my upcoming demise, I couldn't help my reaction at the look on his face as he instantly shifted from that seriousness to stern parent, scolding our children for improper table manners. I started laughing. In my anxiousness, I started belly laughing. Tears were streaming down my face as my children joined in on the gaiety.
Knowing I was disrupting the discipline that we usually tried to instill in them, but needing a release, I grabbed a slice of my toast and chucked it over the table at them. Their little eyes widened, but giggling at me, they started throwing food right back. I dodged half eaten chunks of bread as I tore up tiny chunks of food to glob over at them. Teren sighed, but didn't deny me my moment of fun. Softly chuckling, he eventually joined in, grabbing some fresh sticks from a platter of them in the center of the table. Only Teren started chucking them at his mom. It was about three seconds after that when a full-on food fight was in progress.
I laughed until my sides hurt. Spike happily cleaned up the mess.
Picking stray pieces of food out of my hair, I spent the bulk of the afternoon with my children. We did everything that they loved to do. We colored, we read books, we put together puzzles, and Teren and I each grabbed a child and did the vampiric version of piggyback rides, meaning we were mere streaks rushing through the house. We wore them out so much that they crashed in my arms at naptime. I stayed cuddled with them on the couch, listening to our hearts beat in unison. I tried to imagine never hearing that again, but I'd become too accustomed to it, I couldn't.
Teren stuck close to my side throughout the day, holding me when he could, kissing me repeatedly. I knew he was offering what support and encouragement he could, and I loved him all the more for it. We didn't speak of what was going to happen to me anymore. It was too hard to talk about around the children. I didn't want to worry or scare them. I would come out of this fine. I was pretty sure anyway.
After naptime, Alanna started preparing the most elaborate meal I'd ever seen; it rivaled Christmas dinner. When I asked her what she was doing, she would only tell me that she was making something special for me. It twisted my stomach at the same time that it warmed it. She was literally making me my last meal. After today, I'd be on the same all liquid diet that Teren was on. While he told me all the time that food didn't even sound appealing anymore, I really had a hard time wrapping my head around it. How could hamburgers, fries, pizzas, mochas, pasta and ice cream, suddenly not sound mouthwateringly good?
As the children played with some floured dough balls, getting the white powder all over themselves in the process, I helped Alanna cut up some vegetables. From across the house in the library, I could hear Teren call my mother, asking her if she'd like the kids for a couple of days while he whisked me away on an impromptu birthday getaway. She exclaimed her joy at the idea of having them overnight and I sighed, watching Julian help Nika squash her ball flat. It wasn't exactly the situation I'd imagined for their first night away from me. I wasn't sure how I'd handle them not being around, but I knew I needed to, for their safety.
When Teren told her that Jack would be bringing the kids by, since we were leaving shortly, I sighed again. I hated that he had to lie to my mother, but it was for the best. You just couldn't tell a parent that your heart would soon stop beating and not expect them to rush out to you. I'd always meant to tell her that it would happen to me someday, but I'd never found the time...or the courage. Like most things that happened with me, I'd have to tell her after the fact. I did feel a little guilty about that.
Alanna patted me briefly in sympathy before returning to the feast she was preparing. Teren hung up with my mother and immediately called Hot Ben, both to fill him in on the situation and to talk over his own stress with a friend. He didn't outright mention his fear, but I heard it in the tenor of his voice. I tried to stop listening, to give him some privacy, and shifted my attention to a lightly humming Alanna; she also seemed to be giving her son privacy.
"Mom?" I asked softly. She twisted to me, smiling warmly at being addressed as family. Lifting her eyebrows, she waited for my question. Curious if Alanna would have done what I'd been doing for the last few years, up until last night actually, I asked, "Would you have taken Gabriel's shot? Would you have wanted to keep aging?"
Alanna smiled and leaned back into the counter as Imogen walked into the room. Running a hand over the button up shirt tucked into her jeans, she paused to rub her empty stomach. "I would have loved to give Teren a sibling." She sighed as Imogen walked over to slink an arm around her. Looking between the two was like watching twin sisters, not a mother and daughter. Shaking her loose, black hair, Alanna shrugged. "It was hard for me to get pregnant. I would have loved to have had more time to try again."
I twisted my lips and nodded, trying to picture Teren with a brother or a sister. Imogen sighed as well, her free hand skimming over the long skirt she typically wore. "It was difficult for me as well." She squeezed Alanna tight. "You were my only miracle." Alanna smiled up at her while Imogen looked over at me. "Gabriel says that it is harder for a female vampire to conceive, than it is for a male vampire to..." She cut off, glancing down at my children watching us curiously.
Filling in the part she didn't want to say in front of my impressionable youngsters, I let her know that I understood. "Oh, I didn't know that." It was easier for vampire men to knock up humans, than vice versa.
Imogen shrugged, a strand of dark hair falling from her loose bun. "If we'd known that with Teren, we probably wouldn't have pushed him so hard." She smiled as she listened to her grandson laughing with Ben as his friend eased his mind. "He just seemed so disinterested in settling down, we were worried that he wouldn't want children...until it was too late."
All of us looked at the twins. They each smiled at the sudden attention, swinging their legs back and forth on the stools as they poked holes in the dough with their fingers. Alanna handed them some pretzel sticks, showing them how to make animals with the sticks as legs. I walked over to Imogen and she looped her cool arm around me. "We shouldn't have pushed him, I know, but look at those two..." her eyes drifted back to Nika and Julian. "How could we not pressure him for them?"
Alanna peeked her head up from in-between them, her lineless brow furrowed. "But I raised my son properly, and he knew that he had to find the right woman first, before he brought children into this world with her." Her face relaxed as she looked over at me. "Actually, I think Carrie taught him that," she whispered.
I nodded. Yes, his ex had taught him a lot about responsibility. But then, all exes teach us something about who we are, about who we want to be. Alanna smiled as she went back to making dough animals with the kids. "He just took his time finding you, is all."
"Says who?" Teren asked, finally walking back into the room. Smiling confidently, he slipped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck; the roughness made me laugh. "I think I found you just when I was meant to."
I leaned back into his arms and closed my eyes, nodding. "Yes, yes you did."
The kids started getting anxious to leave shortly before dark. They waited until Halina was awake, so she could see them off, but really, they'd been bouncing off the walls for most of the afternoon. Spending the night at my mom's house had never happened for them and it was an excitement that was nearly palpable. Especially when Teren told them that my mom had fresh blood in her fridge.