“Definitely made it worse…” Will corrected.
“Right, so he’s on my list of people to avoid. And I’ll do everything possible to evade every other vampire in this place as well.” Except you. The pause, the break in her sentence implied it, so she rushed to cover it up. “The humans didn’t realize they could do such a thing. Jess never even tried to get the flag before. They condemned themselves without a second thought. There was no way I could allow that, never mind lend to it. I stole the other teams stuff, Will. I might as well have killed Alice myself, because taking their stuff—that’s what it meant. I traded one life for another. I couldn’t let Cassie die. But I couldn’t have Alice’s blood on my hands, either.”
“That’s the problem,” he said, eyes narrow like he was assessing a threat, “you’re not like them. None of them would have even thought to do something like that.”
“I did what was right.”
“He offered you freedom…” Will’s voice caught, as he looked up at her from beneath dark lashes. “I thought you’d take it and be gone again.”
For some reason Kahli’s heart was pounding. They were standing in the stairwell, whispering. A first she didn’t feel any different, but the way Will looked at her, the way his eyes melted into liquid sapphires—it made her pulse race. She felt dazed, and couldn’t think straight. Her eyes were fixated on Will’s perfect lips. As he breathed, they parted. She wondered what it would feel like to brush her lips to his, to taste his kiss.
The two drew together slowly, as if magnetized until the last word he said sank into her mind, “Again? What do you mean ag…” but she didn’t finish speaking. Their lips had met, cutting off her question and it died in her mouth.
Will’s lips touched hers, warm and soft. His hands slid along her cheeks, his fingers gently threading in her hair and he pulled her closer. The kiss sent a shiver down Kahli’s spine that erupted in butterflies in her stomach. Will was so gentle, so careful. Without warning, it felt like the runes on her side burst into flames. She gasped, pulling away from Will, her hand slapping away flames that weren’t there. There was no fire, no spark. Her hands stilled and she looked at Will, her green gaze soft.
His eyes widened, horrified at what he’d done. Relationships between vampires and humans were forbidden. “Kahli, I’m sorry.” Before she had a chance to respond, Will’s voice was cold, calloused. “It won’t happen again.”
She gasped, staring at him. He kissed her, a flash of pain shot up her side, and then he said he’d never do it again. When he opened the door, she pretended it didn’t matter. She nodded at him, trying to act the same as she had before, but it was a lie. That kiss meant something, and she didn’t like what it meant.
CHAPTER TWNEY-FOUR
Sitting in Will’s room was different than she thought it would be. Instead of having walls lined with books and maps like some of the Trackers she hunted, he had nothing. His room consisted of a bed with sparse linens, a table and chair, a reading light and a single window. There was nothing marking the space to make her think it was his. If the room didn’t have his scent, she would have thought they were in an extra bedroom kept empty for new servants.
There was a box on his desk. It had the Queen’s emblem on the lid. Will opened it and took out a small golden knife. Kahli knew what he was going to do, but the thought still made her sick. Blood was precious, spilling it like this seemed wrong.
“Turn your hand over,” he said and slid the knife over the center of his palm. Will didn’t wince as the blade opened his hand. He immediately reached for Kahli, spreading the warm blood over every inch of her hands. Soon, her hands were completely red like she was wearing gloves made from blood. It looked like she’d killed someone. “There. Give it a minute. When we wash it off,” Will wrapped a towel around his hand to stop the blood, “we’ll see if it healed you. If it did, we should do your feet, too.”
She started to protest, “My feet are…” Will tilted his head, his expression said that he wasn’t an idiot—that he knew her toes were in worse shape than her hands. Kahli shut her mouth. She tried to keep her gaze on her hands. When her eyes drifted to Will’s face, her mind was consumed with thoughts she shouldn’t have. It made her feel weak and she didn’t like that. His blood was warm and sticky. She stretched her hands, waiting.
Will watched her wiggling her fingers. The last time he saw Kahli covered with that much blood was when he was nearly too late. The wolves attacked, nearly shredding her to bits. He still couldn’t believe how she fought. She wasn’t afraid. Or if she was, he couldn’t tell.
That was something he admired about her. She fought back, even when it seemed hopeless. Kahli’s lack of submission no doubt caught all the wrong attention tonight. He was worried about her, worried that he couldn’t protect her from the wolves inside the palace walls.
“Will,” she said shattering his thoughts.
“Hmmm?” he was looking at her hands, refusing to meet her eye.
“Can I ask you something?” she stared at the side of his face, wondering who he was and how he came to be trapped between the most powerful vampires in the world.
He glanced up at her, “Sure.” He had no idea what she wanted to know, but the silence was killing him. He didn’t want to ignore what had happened. He wanted to kiss her again, but he couldn’t—allowing that small infraction was foolish enough.
“Why do you have runes on your chest?” Her voice was soft. She asked him like it was a question that she had no right to ask. She lowered her lashes, and didn’t look him in the eye. The answer was bad. She could sense it, but she didn’t know why. She’d tried to piece it together since they’d met, but every answer only led to more questions.
It felt like he was sucker-punched. Will momentarily lost his breath, but recovered quickly. Instead of answering, he glanced at her. Her fiery red hair was hanging over her shoulders, hiding her gaze like she was shy. Kahli was anything but shy. He reached for her chin with his clean hand and tilted her face up. Grinning he asked, “And how would you know I have runes on my chest?”
But she didn’t grin back. Instead Kahli lifted her chin out of his grip and looked away. “The night I stabbed you, I saw them.” She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, “Did the Bane have the same betrothal ceremonies?”
He shook his head, his blue eyes haunted like he was remembering something he wanted to forget, “No. They’re not what you think.”
“Maybe they’re not wedding runes, but they bound you to someone, didn’t they? I mean, isn’t that what runes are for?” She stared at him, asking more than she should, but she couldn’t help it. Kahli didn’t understand him. She didn’t know how he could serve two adversaries without either noticing. It made her wary of him and she didn’t want to be. The runes might explain it. The runes could be used to bind his loyalty, assuming they were like wedding runes.
Will didn’t answer for a long while. Instead he grabbed a bowl of water that he had set on the table and lifted Kahli’s hand. Taking a cloth, he dipped it in the water and then let the water drip over her bloodied fingers, filling her palm, and then slipping over the sides of her hand and back into the bowl. Swirls of orange and red quickly filled the basin. He repeated dipping, and gently wiping away his blood. He didn’t want her to have to do it, and for some reason she let him.
Finally he said, “Some things are best not answered.”
Kahli’s face pinched. She knew he was struggling, deciding whether or not to tell her. “But I could help you. I could—”
He cut her off, “You can’t even help yourself, Kahli. You don’t know what life is like here. You don’t know what it means to be Bane and survive in this place. You don’t know what it’s like to be Bane and survive anywhere. I would have never told you what I was if I thought I’d see you again.” He swallowed hard and took her other hand. Kahli pressed her lips together so she wouldn’t speak. His words stung, as he meant them to, but he was too harsh. This was the world she wasn’t supposed to see. He softened his voice, “Besides, there’s nothing you could do. There’s nothing I can do. It’s the way it is. Just accept it and be glad for little moments like this—where I’m just Will and you’re just Kahli—where there’s no vampire or human, no forced survival where one threatens to destroy the other.” Her hands were soft and smooth again, her fingertips warm. “There. Looks like it worked.”
Kahli wanted to press him, she wanted to know what he was hiding. She wanted to read his runes and see what his true name was. That was the only thing powerful enough to control a person anymore. Compulsion was too weak to use without a birth name to go with it. Biting her lip, she looked over the table at him and nodded, not asking the questions that burned in her mind. “Feels like it, too.”
Will met her eyes. He couldn’t move. His hands were on Kahli’s, his thumb stroking her soft skin. Her gaze absorbed him so that he was nothing, no one without her. The ache inside his chest eased when she was near. Her voice, her touch, her kiss—all those things made him want to be everything she could ever want, everything she needed—but he couldn’t. That wasn’t the life fate had carved out for him. No matter how much he wanted her, Kahli was not his destiny—she was just a bright spot on a road of eternal night.
When Will broke their gaze, it felt like he was cutting off his arm. He didn’t want to release her hand, but he did. This is getting too hard, he thought to himself. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Gaze vacant, he cleared his throat and looked up at her. “Better start on the rest. It’s late.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Several days passed in silence. Kahli hadn’t seen Will. Somehow he managed to stay away unless the Queen had her bidden for a tasting. It irritated her that Will seemed to withdraw after their kiss. He said nothing as he pricked her skin with the golden needle, forcing blood to drip onto the ornate serving tray.
Kahli watched a splash of crimson fall from her finger, and then another. Her blood beaded up into little drops. Will’s lips passed over her finger, sealing the cut. He moved methodically, not pausing to speak. His lips slid over her skin like she meant nothing to him. Trying not to shiver, Kahli pushed away the thoughts that swam to the front of her mind. Thoughts about his lips on hers, the scent of his skin, the way his hair felt in her hands. The events of other night remained a mystery. Neither of them wanted to admit what happened. For Kahli, it was beyond deplorable. If someone suggested she would ever want to kiss a vampire, she would have laughed. But now, now she could think of nothing else.
Clearing her throat, Kahli pulled her hand away and asked, “Why hasn’t she done a feeding, yet?” Cole mentioned it, saying that he was suspicious that they hadn’t feed from her. She began to wonder why. Instead they called her for tastings, only taking a little bit of blood from her. Kahli understood more why Cole was suspicious of her. The whole situation was strange. She needed to know even though she didn’t think it was something that she’d want to hear. Keeping her expression neutral, she looked up at Will who finally turned to glance at her.