“I don’t think that I would hate Violet if she turned me,” Cora mused. “I think if I knew she did it for the right reasons, I would understand and forgive her. At least we’d be together.”
“It’s not that simple,” I said after a moment.
We were quiet for some time. Through the grime coating the shop windows, I could see the faintest streaks of sunlight appearing like brushstrokes against the inky black sky. The worst of the night was behind us.
“Nothing that’s worth it is ever simple,” Cora said in the darkness, picking up our earlier conversation and yanking me back to the present.
“Hmm?” I asked, startled.
“Nothing that’s worth anything is ever simple. That’s what makes it worth it. That’s what Violet always used to say when things got hard for us. She was the one who pushed for us to move to London. I’d have been happy to stay in Donegal, settle down…” Cora sighed. “Violet convinced our parents to let us move. And right before we boarded the boat, my da took me by the shoulders and told me to look after his little girl.”
“You did the best you could.”
Cora shook her head. “I didn’t! I was charmed by Samuel the second he came into the Ten Bells. He sat at the bar and told me I was beautiful. I didn’t give a second thought to what would happen to Violet when I went with him. And then… I was so stupid!” she exploded angrily. “Why couldn’t I resist him? I knew well enough that no nobleman like him would want a girl like me, so why couldn’t I ignore the compulsion?”
I pulled her toward me, rocking her back and forth in my arms. “There is no way you could have fought the compulsion without vervain. It wasn’t your fault,” I said soothingly. She relaxed against my chest. I noticed a crease between her eyes that hadn’t been there a few days earlier. She looked exhausted, and I wanted to do everything in my power to make her pain and hurt and confusion go away. But I couldn’t.
“So many men are out there looking for girls just like you. You’re amazing,” I said, brushing the hair back from her eyes. I didn’t love her, at least not in the way that causes a human heart to flutter with anticipation. But what I felt for her was deep and sincere: It was as if we were soul mates in the strictest sense of the word, bound by duty to our kin and willing to do anything in the face of evil. She was a true friend. And I hoped she could tell how much I valued her.
“Thanks,” she said wryly, tilting her chin up to me. Her angular face was bathed in a swath of early morning light coming through a crack in the window. “How can I go wrong when I have the approval of vampires?”
I chuckled. It wasn’t funny, not really, but as I continued to laugh, a giggle rose from Cora’s lips.
“Shh!” I exclaimed, pressing my hand to her mouth.
“I can’t!” she said, still laughing. Tears sprang from her eyes and leaked down her cheeks, and I knew it wasn’t the joke making her cry. I held her tighter and let her tears wash over me. The world was a harsh place to live in, but here and now, at least we had each other.
14
I fell asleep listening to the ba-dum, ba-dum of Cora’s heartbeat. It was rhythmic and steady, a metronomic reminder that not all was lost. And somehow, the sound got me through the night.
I awoke to thin rays of light seeping through the grime-caked windows. I blanched as I blinked at my surroundings. The wooden floor was covered with dust, and I could see the paw prints and tail marks of rats. Cockroaches scurried along the baseboards.
“Wake up,” I whispered, nudging Cora’s shoulder. Her hands were clasped together as though in prayer.
Cora blinked up at me. The shadows under her eyes were so dark and pronounced it was as if she’d drawn them with kohl. Her smock had shifted as she slept, exposing her frail collarbone. I hated to wake her, bring her back into this horrible reality.
“Good morning,” I whispered. “How did you sleep?”
“Better than I imagined, considering the circumstances,” Cora said in a small voice, sitting up.
“I know,” I said. “But the good news is we’re here, and we’re safe. And everything’s always better in the morning.” I smiled despite myself. It was a phrase my mother had used when I was a child, worried about monsters hiding under my bed. Only now, the monsters weren’t hiding.
“What are we going to do?” she asked.
“We’ll think of something. It will be fine,” I said. That had been my go-to phrase for the past few days, and I was sure Cora was just as tired of hearing it as I was of saying it. Every plan I thought of was more fantastical and useless than the last. My mind felt overworked and unwieldy. But what could we do? Vervain wouldn’t hurt Samuel, and he had the entire London police force wrapped around his little finger.
My mind drifted to Katherine. Samuel had been right; she’d delighted in pitting Damon and me against each other. I wanted to get into Katherine’s brain and try to imagine what she would do in my circumstances. Maybe that was the answer. What better way to fight a maniacal vampire than to think like one myself?
Katherine, though, was hardly alone. And not just with her abundance of male suitors. She had her maidservant, Emily, by her side. Emily, who was also a witch. She’d perform spells for Katherine, giving her an advantage over humans and vampires both.
I needed something beyond the Power I had as a vampire. I needed to talk to James.
“What’s that?” Cora asked nervously, pulling me out of my reverie. Something was scuttling around behind a moldering hatbox in the corner and Cora was looking around the shop as though expecting to find one of the mannequins had come to life. Remarkably, the abandoned store was more frightening in the weak light of day than it had been in darkness.