I suck in another breath and dare to move it a teench.
Dear God, if only it was Shade’s tongue!
I’m a dirty, dirty woman.
I’m fantasizing about a boy whose tongue is surely only in college. And the rest of him, too, of course. But I can’t help it. As Geronimo pushes me closer and closer to a precipice that I haven’t even approached in years (make that EVER), the fantasy hits me head-on and I don’t let shame stop me from having it.
I imagine that Shade has a youthfully ripped body—all tan and fit and flexible. It’s more beautiful than Rick the Dick ever was. Ugh. I cringe. Note to self: I can’t think about Rick the Dick if I don’t want my vag to implode on itself.
I focus on Shade again. I imagine what he would look like poised above me as he guides his enormous, perfect young penis into me. I imagine him sucking my ni**les and pulling my hair in ecstasy as he pounds me like a bass drum at a Kiss concert.
I move Geronimo just a bit more.
Then a bit more.
And just like that, I come.
Merry Christmas to me.
As I lay in stunned, breathless satisfaction, I seriously think of texting Sara with my eternal gratitude.
Holy shit, girl! I think I love you.
Actually, I’m in love with Geronimo.
It’s the perfect penis: Huge, hard and unattached to the rest of a man who would only bring problems like a beer gut, hellacious gas and infidelity. I gaze at it fondly as I wash it again, then tuck it into my bedside stand.
Yep, I’m definitely in love.
With a happy sigh, I realize that for the first time, I’m looking forward to my date on Saturday night.
********
“You look marvelous!” Sara says when I round the corner into the bedroom.
“I feel ridiculous.”
“Why? We are simply two wealthy women with trophy boy toys out for a night on the town at one of Vegas’s most luxurious night spots. Nothing to feel ridiculous about.”
“I’m dressed like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, only without the body for it,” I say, indicating my short, tight dress. “How did I let you talk me into buying this?”
“Well, I thought it might help things with Rick the Dick many moons ago, but this is an even better use. Besides, you look mouthwatering. You do too have the body for it.”
Standing up, she walks to me. She trails the fingertips of one hand down my cheek before she rakes her long fingernails through my hair.
“Such great hair,” she murmurs. “It’s a perfect dark color and it’s so shiny and full. You could be on a shampoo commercial. Seriously.” I roll my eyes and smile, but she interrupts me before I can even speak. “And your teeth!” she observes. “You’ve got perfect teeth. Blindingly white. Your smile almost makes me hate you. What man can resist that?”
I stare at her incredulously. “My teeth? What the hell? No man is going to date me on the merits of my oral health. I’m not a horse, Sara.”
“And such a beautiful face,” she continues, ignoring me. Right before she drags her hands down to palm my boobs next. She gives them a squeeze.
“Delicious rack,” she declares, then grabs my waist and spins me around. “And a perfect ass,” she exclaims, slapping my butt. “You are gorgeous in every way and any man in his right mind would give his left nut to lick you from head to toe and everywhere in between.”
“I think you secretly have the hots for me,” I laugh. “Maybe I should be going out with you instead.”
“Oh, you flatter! If either of us swung that way, we’d be perfect together. But, alas, I’m a sausage lover, as are you. No tacos for us.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Have you always been this way and I’m just now noticing?”
“Yes. You’ve been preoccupied for a few years.”
“I’m beginning to really love this new you. Even if she shocks me regularly and gets me into trouble more often than not.”
“You love it and you know it. I add much-needed excitement to your life,” Sara claims, walking to the mirror to touch up her lipstick.
“Did I tell you I love that hair style on you, too?” I ask, referring to her new dark red pixie cut. She totally has the face to pull it off.
“Keep going like that and I’m yours.”
We both laugh.
“Well, I guess I’m ready.” I add under my breath, “At least as ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Then it’s time to go.”
My stomach flutters in dread and anxiety and, yes, a little bit of excitement. I take a deep breath and smile at Sara. She loops her arms through mine and grins.
“Welcome to the first night of the rest of your life.”
We make our way outside and down the walk to the curb, to the shiny black limousine waiting there. The ride is only twenty minutes or so, during which I drink champagne in the back of the limo at a rate of speed that would make a sailor proud.
When we glide to a stop at the club, I follow Sara out of the car.
And the man waiting for me nearly takes my breath away.
He’s taller than I imagined and much broader than I expected. His shoulders look a mile wide in his perfectly-tailored tuxedo, making his waist look smaller than mine. His hair is dark brown and his eyes are the same dark, sparkling blue as they are in his picture.
He’s young, all right. But there is nothing boyish about this guy. Not at all.
As I step from the car, he extends his hand toward me. I slip my fingers into his and he smiles. I’m pretty sure my knees go numb and my uterus has a spasm. But it’s when he speaks that I know it’s all over but the shouting. And the Hallelujah choir.
“You’re more beautiful than I could’ve imagined,” he purrs in a deep, velvety voice.
Yep, I’m gonna ride him like a runaway bull tonight. No two ways about it.
The thought makes me smile.
Chapter Two
(Because sometimes you just gotta have the guy’s perspective)
Shade
“You’re a rock star,” I mutter to the guy in the mirror as I tug his black tie into a crisp bow. “A f**king rock star.”
“Dude, who the hell are you talking to?”
Chaz strides into the dressing room.