Seeing her faults with a clearer eye, she knew what she had to do. She would visit her parents closer to Christmas.
First, she needed to go to the loft to collect her paintings from Isaac. She had an appointment with a man who was interested in selling her paintings at auction, but he wanted to see what she had to offer before he did.
Grabbing her keys from the side by the phone, she called a taxi and waited outside. The journey to the loft which Isaac had bought was a long one. Every passing second she wanted to ask the driver to turn back. She didn’t know if he would be there or not. When the man pulled up she asked him to wait for her.
“It will cost for me to keep the motor running.”
“Of course.” She no longer expected anything else. Everyone wanted more money or quicker ways of getting out of paying. Staring up at the building she squared her shoulders before entering.
At first glance it looked like the loft was empty. The furniture hadn’t been moved, and her art-work remained in the same place. On closer inspection she saw that her paintings were placed around the room, each one in clear view of the sofa.
Isaac sat on the sofa staring at her art work.
“I didn’t expect you to be here,” she said.
“You sent me a text to say you would be taking your art work, and you think I wouldn’t be here to try and convince you to stay?” He turned his gaze on her.
“Why would you try to do that?”
“Because I love you, and no matter what you think that will never stop.”
His words struck deep in her heart.
“I’ve come for the paintings.”
“Then take them.” He gestured to each one. Opening and closing her hands, she stared at him not wanting to move. After several minutes passed Noelle pulled herself out of the trance and began to gather her work.
Isaac sat on the sofa, watching her but not making a move. When she pulled the last painting off the easel, she felt him behind her. Spinning around, she gasped as he pressed her against the wall.
She didn’t have time to protest as he slammed his lips down on hers. The kiss wasn’t gentle or soft but hard and demanding. At first she denied him, fighting against his hold. All too soon she was melting into his touch, her lips opening to accept the invasion of his tongue. Their moans mingled in the air around them. She sank her fingers in the hair at the base of his neck as he ran his hands down her body. She was drowning in the sea of his touch, and she couldn’t find a way out.
It would be all too easy to give herself to him, but what would happen afterwards? He would go back to his life, and she would return to hers.
Pushing him away, Noelle broke the contact.
“I don’t want this.”
“I can feel the fire of your passion, Elle. You want me.”
Staring at him she shook her head in denial. Pulling out of his hold, she grabbed her paintings from the doorway.
“I may still want you, but that all changed when you weren’t honest with me.”
She pressed the elevator button and began the journey to the taxi. The meeting with the man who wanted to sell her paintings was in the afternoon. She checked the time on her phone and decided to go straight to the man’s office.
The changes in her life were necessary. She took a quick glance up at the window and saw Isaac staring back at her. The intensity in his gaze could be seen from where she stood. She didn’t know why she felt that way, but she did.
She got back into the taxi and drove off. The desire to look back was strong.
****
Ben waited for Brad at the cemetery where he’d told the other man to meet him. After his meeting with Noelle, Ben knew it was only a matter of time until he told Brad the truth. He flicked the cigarette he was smoking out of his fingers when he saw Brad approaching.
“Thank you for calling me,” Brad said.
“I don’t want to talk. I just want to show you, so we can move on.” Ben needed to get past the hate and guilt inside him. The emotions were threatening to destroy him every day. He walked through the cemetery, past the main gravestones and along some bushes.
Ben came to a stop out one gravestone at the edge of the cemetery near the fence.
“What’s going on, Ben? Why have you bought me here?”
“I can’t go on with you not knowing about your past. Our past. The only way we can move on is for me to tell you what happened.” Ben moved some of the leaves that had blown onto the grave. He rubbed his hands along the lettering, and once again his heart began to ache. So many lies had been told over the years, and he hated himself for it. When he was younger coming out of the closet had never been acceptable. For years, he’d kept his sexuality a secret from his parents, his work colleagues and even his wife.
“You came into the bar one night, and we hit it off. I’d never met anyone like you. You were so confused but yet knew who you wanted to be. Compared to everyone I knew, you were a breath of fresh air. We started dating. I know you were young, and I shouldn’t have acted on my attraction to you. But I did.” Ben ran his fingers through his hair. He was shaking from the memories of his affair with Brad. Never in his whole life had he been as happy as when he was with Brad. “We said we’d keep our relationship a secret. You promised you’d never hurt my wife.” He heard Brad gasp, and he turned away to carry on with his tale. “I didn’t know about your drug and alcohol problem. One night you came to club when my wife was visiting. You were out of control, shouting and bitching. I’ve never seen anything like it. That night, you told the whole club and my wife about our affair.”
“I’m so sorry….” Ben stopped him from talking.
“She couldn’t cope. I dealt with you, and when I tried to talk to my wife, she ran out on me. That night, I lost you, my wife, and my unborn child.”
Brad was crying, and Ben knew he’d broken through that wall inside him.
“I don’t just blame you. I blame myself. If you hadn’t walked inside the club I would have remained faithful to my wife, and she would be alive and so would my child.”
“I don’t understand. Why do you have a wife if you like men? What did I do?” Brad asked. The tears were endless, and Ben hated himself for the added pain he was causing.
Ben closed his eyes, and he turned away from Brad. He needed to get himself together. This wasn’t entirely Brad’s fault.
“I’m bisexual, Brad. You’re the first man I’ve let myself get close to. I never cheated on my wife with another woman, but with you, I had to have you. My wife died because she heard the way you were bragging at the club, and she asked me if it was true. I told her it was, and she ran out, taking the car and drove into a f**king tree.”