“Do not make this dirty,” he warned.
“Right then, last night, you totally missed how much this means to me because I’m willing to play it dirty in hopes of getting something, anything, from you.”
“You have everything from me,” he returned quietly.
“That’s another lie.”
He held my eyes. Then he kept talking quietly. “Right, Kia, honey, then I’ll say you’ve got everything I’ve got to give.”
“That’s not enough, Sam. I love you and when you love someone, you want all of them. I’ve given you all of me. I’m here. I’m laid bare. Hell, I laid myself bare within days of knowing you. My family is arriving tomorrow, bringing my stuff. I’m living with you, restarting my life, here, with you. Now I want all of you.”
“Baby, I’m sayin’ you gotta take what I can give.”
“And honey, I’m saying I want all of you.”
And at that he was done. I knew this when he pushed away from the counter, twisted, put his mug down then walked toward the stairs to the garage but stopped and turned to me.
“I’m goin’ to workout. While I’m gone, Kia, baby, you gotta decide if it’s all or nothing. You know where I stand. Your decision.”
Then he was gone.
That’s right. Without another word or allowing me one, he was gone.
After I heard the growl of his truck fade, the hum of his gate closing stop, I started crying again.
I managed to shower, dress and leave a note and I took Memphis for a walk on beach. I didn’t know if he got back in an hour and a half or three that was how long I was gone.
Because that was how long it took to make my heartbreaking decision.
When I got back, Sam was dealing with the furniture people who were delivering the sofa. They were pretty psyched and not hiding it that they got to deliver a sofa to Sampson Cooper.
When Memphis and I showed up, Sam turned his back on them, took one look at me, closed his eyes and turned his head slightly to the side.
But I didn’t miss the pain that slashed through his features.
Seeing he’d figured me out, seeing his reaction to it, my decision took a direct hit.
Then his eyes opened, locked on me and they were burning intense, so much, it felt like they burned the air out of my lungs. He walked right up to me, nabbed me by the back of the head, pulled me in and up and laid a hot, wet, heavy one on me.
My decision already on shaky ground, I instantly changed my mind.
Sam lifted his head, his eyes scanned my face and he figured that out too.
Then his eyes closed, his fingers convulsed at the back of my head and he dropped his forehead to mine.
Damn, that was sweet.
Yep, I changed my mind.
He opened his eyes, touched his mouth to mine again then claimed me with an arm around my shoulders, turning back to the furniture guys who had the couch on the curve toward the stairs and were grinning at us.
“Hope you take no offense, Coop,” the mischievous one said, “but your woman is seriously hot.”
I sighed.
Sam muttered, “This is not something I’ve missed.”
The men burst out laughing.
I drew in a long breath, held it then released it, relaxing into Sam’s side.
Memphis bounced around the living room, yapping and trailing her leash.
I got Sam back that day. Gone were the long runs, workouts and mysterious buddies and errands. This could have had to do with our drama. Or it could have been my family arriving the next day.
But for me and for them, that week, Sam was Sam. Dad got to toss a ball with Sam on the beach and I was right, he loved it. He was beaming through it and he beamed for days after. Hap came down and I got my wish of Hap, Luci, Kyle, Gitte, Sam and I playing three on three football and I was right, it was wicked fun. Sam cooked for them and what he made was delicious. We drank a lot. We ate a lot. We laughed a lot. They got to know Luci, they hilariously met the hard as nails Skip and they got to spend a little time with Hap who could only come down for the day and then had to go back.
They brought my stuff which was piled up in the garage, the U-Haul returned. Kyle and Gitte drove straight to Kingston, so did Dad and Mom. Kyle and Gitte only had one week off but Dad and Mom were taking two, driving back to Tennessee with Kyle and Gitte and spending another week there before Kyle and Gitte were going to drive them home.
It was a good time. It felt nice. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t catch Mom and Dad both giving me careful looks a couple of times but I powered through it.
Not to keep them in the dark.
No, I was biding my time, waiting for the right one.
And that time had come.
* * * * *
I finished brushing my teeth, sorted out my hair, tugged on some clothes and went downstairs. I could hear Kyle and Gitte packing in Sam’s office. Mom was at the stove pushing around some sausage patties in a skillet, Memphis at her heels, the smell in the air pure, doggie torture.
Dad was at the bar, drinking coffee.
“Hey, honey, Sam’s out running,” Mom told me.
“I know, Mom,” I replied and went to the cupboard where Sam kept his travel mugs. Then I asked the cupboard, “Dad, will you walk with Memphis and me on the beach?”
I took a mug down, glancing his way to see his eyes were on Mom. Then they came to me.
Then he said, “Sure, honey.”
“Do you want a travel mug of coffee?” I asked.
“I’m nuked up, darlin’. Drink more, we’ll be stoppin’ every fifteen minutes.”
I nodded and sent a small smile to Mom. She sent me one in return.
She knew what this was about. She was curious but she wasn’t upset at being left out. She knew Dad would explain things later.
No hard feelings. This was the way it was.
I was Daddy’s little girl.
I got my coffee, leashed up Memphis and we walked out to the deck then entered the boarded walk that led down to the beach. Then we hit the beach. Then Dad took my hand and did the hard part.
“Talk to me, Kiakee.”
They had to get on the road and I needed quality Dad Time which might turn into quantity Dad Time so I didn’t delay.
“When we were talking on the phone and I was first telling you about me and Sam you said something. I mean, what you said was true but the way you said it, I haven’t forgotten.”
“What’d I say, honey?” Dad asked.
“You said the word, ‘inseparable’.” I looked to the side to see him grinning at the beach. “Why are you smiling?”
His hand gave mine a squeeze and he answered, “’Cause, Kiakee, all your life, you reminded me of your mother. You look like her, you act like her. Hell, in a way, you dress like she did when she was young. But then you were with Cooter and you became someone else. I lost you and I lost those bits of you that remind me of your mother.”