She poured something in a pan and turned to me. “No. That said, when he says something like he’s going to change locks to keep me safe, I don’t argue with him. That’s his job. I give him the freedom to do that.”
“So you think it’s okay that Raiden did what he did?” I pushed.
“I think he didn’t hurt you and I think he could, easily. I think what that said was, you were standing in the way of him doing something he thought was important, that something was looking out for you, so it actually was important and he did what he said he was doing. He got you to shut up and pay attention. It isn’t me, babe, who can say if that’s right or wrong. I wasn’t there. You gave me what you gave me, so I only have that to go on, and this is my opinion. It doesn’t have to be yours. But if he doesn’t hurt you, hit you, smack you, shake you but simply moves to make a point that you need to shut up and listen to him because he’s relaying something important, honestly, Hanna, I cannot think that’s wrong.”
“He backs me into walls,” I blurted.
She blinked before she whispered, “What?”
“Well, we’ve had some kind of… intense conversations,” I thought it safe to share. “One, well, I mistook his intentions about me and accused him of using me…” Her eyes got big and I held onto Sam with one arm but waved my other hand in front of my face. “Long story, and not for now, but he kind of lost it when I wouldn’t listen to him. He backed me into a wall, caging me in, got in my face and explained he is most definitely into me.”
When I was done speaking, her lips were parted and her eyes were glazed.
“KC?” I called when she didn’t say anything.
“Shh,” she shushed me. “I’m having an orgasm.”
It was my turn to blink.
“What?” I asked.
KC came back into the room and focused on me.
“Honey, in the bedroom department, Mark rocks my world, every time. Every time. He does not mess around and has made it clear from the very beginning he has two priorities when we hit the sheets, and the first one is me. No joke. And my man is hot. Yum… mee. Four years of marriage, a kid and one on the way and I still get a shiver just hearing his car pull up the drive. And still, the thought of Raiden Ulysses Miller backing me into the wall and telling me he’s into me. Instant orgasm.”
“But… it scares me,” I told her.
“Then start paying more attention to him and less to whatever it is mucking up your head,” she returned. “Honestly, Hanna, with how cute, pretty, funny and sweet you are, plus those legs, which I would murder for, I do not get and never have, and I’ve told you that a million times, why you’re so damned shy and don’t know down to your bones you deserve a guy like Raiden Miller. But that’s you and I love you, so…” she shrugged, “whatever. I’m assuming that he again didn’t hurt you. He just wanted your attention, and babe, he’s got a fine way of doing that, which a lot of women would pay him to do with them.”
“Maybe I should explain more around how that came about and you’d understand,” I suggested.
“No,” she shook her head. “Maybe you should stop trying so damned hard to find fault in him or yourself or how you both are together and just accept him for who he is and how he is as he’s obviously doing with you. I get you wouldn’t quite believe, after years of crushing on that guy, that this can be real and it’s all going to go up in a puff of smoke, but girl, the time is nigh to believe.”
My breath caught at what she said, all it meant and just how true it was.
KC wasn’t done.
“Hanna, babe, I haven’t seen it, but word on the street is that you’ve got that man caught so tight in your snare he’s never going to get loose. But the thing is, he has no intention of trying. The whole town knows this. The only one who doesn’t is you.”
Oh my God.
She was right about that, too!
KC kept on talking.
“Now, what you have to get is that he is who he is and he does what he does, and none of it, girl, with the way he is, is a surprise. This would be a different conversation if he took his hands to you, caused you pain, said shit that made you feel like dirt, but what you’ve said, he does the opposite. I’m not saying you need to be a timid little mouse and let him walk all over you. Get in his face. Make him back you in a corner. But then see it for what it is. Babe, if he cares about you and what you two are talking about so much he cages you in and gets in your face, that says volumes. Intense discussions, hell, even fights mean there’s feeling. It means that what you two are building is worth it to him. If he didn’t give a shit, if he thought you were a pain in the ass, he knows he can get it good elsewhere, so he wouldn’t put any effort into it and he’d just walk away.”
This totally made sense.
“I so should have talked to you weeks ago,” I told her.
KC smiled huge and twirled her hand in her hair.
“This is me. I got an alpha who pisses me off at the same time he rocks my world. Four years, five and a half with all that dating and engagement malarkey, I’m an expert.” She again wagged her finger at me as she invited, “Now, seeing as I have years on you, you now should feel free to come and share with Auntie KC all there is to Raiden Ulysses Miller. Everything. I’ll give you insights, girl, set you up to go forth and keep your badass hot guy happy.”
I smiled back. “I’ll do that, honey.”
And I would. Well, I mostly would.
She kept smiling at me as she came toward me, stopped, bent and kissed the top of Sam’s head loudly. That pretty baby head shot back. Sam let me go and smacked KC’s face, giggling.
KC giggled back and moved to the stove.
I thanked the Lord I had a good friend right before Sam turned her attention and I got a baby fist to the face.
This was when I started giggling.
Sam and KC giggled with me.
* * * * *
Thus, KC making me feel better about just about everything, when Raiden told me he was off on a job, and, “Babe, this one is gonna last awhile,” I’d felt safe to do what I wanted to do.
I wasted no time in doing it.
Therefore, Raiden had been gone for over a week and now he was back. I was pedaling to his den, excited to unveil what I had to unveil, hoping like all heck he liked it so much that maybe he’d back me against a wall to share that with me.
And I was looking forward to him doing it.