The moon was up and so bright that she could see every detail of the strange boy's face. And now he was looking at her steadily, with the quiet concentration of a hunting animal, a carnivore. At the same time there was something bleak and terribly human in his eyes.
Hana stopped her pantomime. All at once, the space around the cave seemed very large, and she felt very small. She heard night noises, the croaking of frogs and the rushing of the river, with a peculiar intensity.
I should never have brought him out here. I'm alone with him out here. What was I thinking?
There was a long pause while they stood looking at each other silently. The stranger's eyes were very dark, as bottomless and ageless as Old Mother's. Hana could see that his eyelashes were long and she realized again, dimly, that he was handsome.
He lifted the packet of traveling food, looked at it, then with a sudden gesture he threw it on the ground.
He did the same with the waterskin. Then he sighed.
Hana was bristling, going from fear to annoyance and back again. What was he doing? Did he think she was trying to poison him? She picked up the food packet, broke a piece of traveling food off and put it in her mouth. Chewing, she extended the packet toward him again. She made gestures from packet to mouth, saying out loud, "You need to eat, food. Eat! Eat!"
He was watching her steadily. He took the packet from her, touched his mouth, and shook his head. He dropped it at his feet again.
He means it isn't food to him.
Hana realized it with a shock. She stood and stared at the strange boy.
The food isn't food to him and the water isn't drink. But Ryl's blood ... he drank that.
Blood is his food and drink.
There was another long pause. Hana was very frightened. Her mouth was trembling and tears had come to her eyes. The stranger was still looking at her quietly, but she could see the fangs indenting his lower lip now and his eyes were reflecting moonlight.
He was looking at her throat.
We're out here alone ... he could have attacked me at any time, Hana thought. He could attack me right now. He looks very strong. But he hasn't touched me. Even though he's starving, I think. And he looks so grieved, so sad... and so hungry.
Her thoughts were tumbling like a piece of bark tossed on the river. She felt very dizzy.
It hurt Ryl... but it didn't kill Ryl. Ryl was sitting up and eating before we all went to sleep tonight. Old Mother said she's going to get well.
If it didn't kill her, it wouldn't kill me.
Hana swallowed. She looked at the strange boy with the glowing animal eyes. She saw that he wasn't going to move toward her even though a fine trembling had taken over his body and he couldn't seem to look away from her neck.
What good does it do to send him off starving? There's no other clan near here. He'll just have to come back. And I was right before; he doesn't want to do it, but he has to do it. Maybe somebody put a curse on him, made it so he starves unless he drinks blood.
There's nobody else to help him.
Very slowly, her eyes on the stranger, Hana lifted the hair from one side of her neck. She exposed her throat, leaning her head back slightly.
Hunger sparked in the strange boy's eyes-and then something blazed in them so quickly and so hot that it swallowed up the hunger. Shock and anger. He was staring at her face, now, not her neck. He shook his head vehemently, glaring.
Hana touched her neck and then her mouth, then made the far-flung gestures. Eat. Then go away.
And for the Goddess's sake, hurry up, she thought, shutting her eyes. Before I panic and change my mind. She was crying now. She couldn't help it. She clenched her fists and her teeth and waited grimly, trying to hang on to her resolve.
When he touched her for the first time, it was to take her hand.
Hana opened her eyes. He was looking at her with such infinite sadness. He smoothed out her fist gently, then kissed her hand. Among any people, it was a gesture of gratitude... and reverence.
And it sent startling tingles through Hana. A feeling that was almost like shivers, but warm. A lightness in her head and a weakness in her legs. A sense of awe and wonder that she'd only ever felt before when Old Mother was teaching her to communicate with the Goddess.
She could see startled reaction in the stranger's eyes, too. He was feeling the same things, and they were equally new to him. Hana knew that. But then he dropped her hand quickly and she knew that he was also afraid. The feelings were dangerous-because they drew the two of them together.
One long moment while they stood and she saw moonlight in his eyes.
Then he turned to go.
Hana watched him, her throat aching, knowing he was going to die.
And somehow that wrenched her insides in a way she'd never experienced before. Although she kept herself standing still, with her head high, she could feel the tears running down her cheeks. She didn't know why she felt this way-but it hurt her terribly. It was as if she were losing something... infinitely precious... before she'd had a chance to know it.
The future seemed gray, now. Empty. Lonely.
Cold and desolate, she stood by the rushing river and felt the wind blow through her. So alone...
"Hannah! Hannah! Wake up!"
Someone was shouting, but it wasn't a voice from her cave. It sounded-faraway-and seemed to come from all directions, or maybe from the sky itself.
And it was saying her name wrong.
"Hannah, wake up! Please! Open your eyes!" The faraway voice was frantic.
And then there was another voice, a quiet voice that seemed to strike a chord deep inside Hana. a voice that was even less like sound, and that spoke in Hana's mind.
Hannah, come back. You don't have to relive all this. Wake up. Come back, Hannah-now.
Hana of the Three Rivers dosed her eyes and went limp.