He looks at me, perplexed.
"Rat, like big mousie, Memsahib? Many of those..." he says, crouching down and looking under a building to see if he can spot one of the little buggers and then point him out to me. Ah, yes, rats—Universal Citizens of the World—I've never been in a place where they were not found in great abundance and, unlike the rest of us, all speaking the same language.
"Never mind," I say. "It was only a line in a song."
"Missy sing pretty, I am sure, but perhaps you thinking of the Bombay ghat, Memsahib. Sounds alike to Ravi's stupid ears. We are going there now. Parade start there."
"The ghat?" I ask.
"Yes, Missy Memsahib. Steps that go down to the river Ulhas. The peoples wash clothes and themselves there. Ravi bathe daily in holy waters of Mother Ulhas. Him not dirty like that man say."
Hmmm ... Do I sense some pride ... and some resentment in our little lad?
"Here is ghat," he announces. "Parade will start over there."
We have come out of the teeming city onto a wide open space of steps—terraces, really—leading down to a wide, very brown, river. There are many women kneeling at the edge, washing, pounding, and wringing clothes. I see a line of elephants being readied for the procession, and I also see... Oh, Lord ...That smell I had noticed before was not from some kitchen fires, as I had supposed ... Oh no, it was not. There are racks of wood, some stacked up and ready, some burned out and smoldering...
Ravi notices my shocked look as I gaze out over the smoking funeral pyres.
"Yes, Missy Memsahib. Is also place to burn the dead. Good Mister Elphy give me money to burn my mommy right over there. Very sad, but she have much good karma, so she is all right I know."
And I thought the smell was of roasting pigs...
I look to Mairead, and she is a bit green about the gills, but she has seen worse, and she shrugs, then says, "Let us see to these elly-phants, Sister."
We draw near the line of the huge beasts and Ravi says, "Missies stay here. Ravi must fix with mahout. Missy give purse?" I flip him my purse and he catches it and bounds off.
"That's probably the last you'll see of him ...and your purse," says Mairead. "Hope we'll be able to find our way back without him."
"Oh, ye of little faith," says I, basking in the sunshine and the wonder of the day and of the place. "Somehow I trust the little fellow."
Ravi goes over to a small, turbaned man standing next to one of the elephants and holding a long hook. We see Ravi talking to the man and then see the man shaking his head. Again Ravi speaks, gesturing toward us. The man looks over and holds up two fingers. Ravi nods and then opens my purse and carefully deals out coins into the man's open palm. The man closes his hand over the money and places a ladder against the side of his beast. Ravi puts his knuckles to his forehead, bows to the mahout, and runs back to us.
"Ladies, ladies, is all set! Come with Ravi!" and we dutifully follow, with me saying, "I told you so," to Mairead, who I can sense is still withholding judgment on the lad as well as the plan for this afternoon's entertainment.
She looks even more dubious when we get up next to the elephant. The sheer hugeness of the creature is a bit intimidating, I must admit, but...
"Come on, Mairead," I say, putting a foot on the ladder. "Never let it be said that either Jacky Faber or Mairead Delaney McConnaughey ever quailed before a fine adventure!"
She laughs as she follows me up to climb into a boxlike thing, gaily decorated, of course, like everything else in this glorious land.
"Missies be good now," warns Ravi, who climbs up to sit on the animal's rump, behind our box. "Sit in palanquin and wave nice to the peoples."
He doesn't know me very well, does he?
There is a great fanfare of trumpets and cymbals and who knows what else and we are off!
The great beast ambles down the street, followed by at least twenty others, all covered in bright tapestries and carrying men and women dressed in their best—and their best is very, very fine. I wave at the crowd and the people wave back. There are people on the street, there are people hanging over balconies, people everywhere. I love it! Hooray!
As we progress, I take it into my mind that I would like to ride up with the mahout, who sits forward with his knees between the elephant's big floppy ears, and so I climb over the edge of the palanquin and step onto the animal's back.
"Missy! Be so careful! Is long way down! And if you fall, the next earthly manifestation of Ganesh might step on you, squashing poor Missy's body to something unsightly!"
"Don't worry, Ravi, I shall be all right!" Geez, compared to walking along the fore t' gallant spar in a living gale, this is nothing. And I do love being the center of attention, and this sure gets me there.
I drop down to sit and I can feel the elephant's shoulders working beneath my legs and hands. Such a wonderful thing...
We round a corner and up ahead I see that a stage has been set up off to the right, and I suspect some nobs will be on it and—Oh, my God, I am absolutely right!
There, in all his naval glory, sits Captain Augustus Laughton, resplendent in navy blue and gold, and standing behind him—oh, glory!—is none other than my good Higgins, looking splendid in white jacket with gold buttons and braid. He seems to be scanning the crowd, probably for me. Never fear, Higgins, you shall see me very shortly.
Next to the Captain sits an Englishman, also finely dressed, who has to be the Governor of Bombay, and next to him an Indian man, with turban, jewels, a big mustache, and a forbidding glare ... the Maharajah, perhaps?
Well, stand by, gents, you're about to have a show.
I jump back into the palanquin, squealing, "Come on, Mairead, stand up! It's the Captain and Higgins up there! Let's give 'em a treat!"
Mairead leaps up, ready to go.
"Here's what we'll do. When we get up in front of them, I'll face them and you'll stand behind me. I'll begin to dance that Indian dance with the arms and all, and you'll put your arms out in the same way and we'll look like that many-armed Kali! It'll be great, and everybody will laugh and be gay!"
Our elephant pulls in front of the reviewing platform, and I stand with the end of my sari across my face as a veil. I can feel Mairead up against me, behind, laughing in anticipation of the coming stunt.
I start to move my hands in that sinuous way, snapping my finger cymbals as I do it. Mairead's hands at my sides weave about in the same way.
We must look just like that statue of Kali back there in that temple, I just know it!
When all the eyes on the reviewing stand are well fixed upon us as the incarnation of an Indian goddess, I whip off the veil and give 'em all my best open-mouthed grin.
"Ahoy, Captain Laughton!" I shout, throwing my arm around Mairead. "How do you like your little minstrels now?"
The Captain's jaw drops open, and when he recognizes us, he roars with laughter. "Capital! Oh, just capital!"
Higgins looks a bit relieved to see me, and then his look turns to one of concern. The Governor looks baffled, and the Maharajah looks positively steamed.
Uh-oh...
"Missies, oh, missies, you should not have done that thing! Kali's thuggees mad now!" pleads Ravi, jumping to the ground. "You must run, Missies! Quickly now, follow Ravi!"
I look out and see that we are once again in front of that dark temple, the one that holds the black statue of Kali, Goddess of Death, and the scimitar-wielding guardians of the gate to the place are now waving their weapons about their heads and screaming, "Kali! Kali!" and are rushing towardus.
Oh, Lord, what have I done now?
I slide down off the elephant's back and reach up for Mairead, but she is already on the ground and running after Ravi.
We pound off down the street in the general direction of the ship. The parade has stopped for the moment, the elephants standing quiet.
"Missies! Under here! Careful!" shouts Ravi, ducking under an elephant's belly. We follow—Lord, look at the size of those feet!—and emerge mercifully unsquashed on the other side of the parade and find ourselves at the mouth of a narrow alley.
"Here! Quickly!"
We run down the length of that, turn right on another street, through some laundry hanging on a line, the sounds of the pursuing thuggees giving wings to our feet.
Oh, why cannot I ever think before I act?
We dart through a doorway to a house, past some very surprised people, and out their back door.
"In here, Missies! Quiet now!"
We crouch in a low shed and wait.
Silence, except for our heavy breathing.
"Ravi think we have lost them."
He peeks cautiously out the door. After a few minutes he says, "Come. We are not far from your big boat."
Again we start running, and then suddenly we burst back into the light. It is the wharf and there is the blessed Lorelei Lee!
Sure is handy having a street-smart urchin around when you need one.
"Let's get back aboard, Mairead, and we'll—"
"Kali! Kali! Kali!"
I twist around and, sure enough, those crazy berserkers are coming at us screaming, "Ferengi! Maarma! Ferengi! Maarma!"
I know what ferengi means, and I strongly suspect that maarma means KILL!
"Faster, Mairead! We can make it!"
Mairead, however, is plainly winded, and slows, gasping.
"Ravi! Help me!"
The boy and I grab her arms and drag her forward toward the foot of the gangway. Gaining it, we push her up and onto the ship, and I shout up, "Sailors! Pull up the brow as soon as we are aboard!"
Mairead goes safely over the rail and I go to follow, but behind me I hear Ravi say, "Goodbye, Missy Memsahib."
I look back to see him standing at the foot of the gangway.
"Thuggees now kill poor Ravi for helping Missies. He go to Brahma to be with Mommy. Thank you, Missies, for fine day. Be not sad. This good karma for me. Ravi hope to come back as happy monkey to sit at Missy's feet to amuse you with high-jinkings. Or maybe sweet puppy dog..."
He kneels to accept his fate and looks up at me with those enormous brown eyes.
"Sweet puppy, my ass. Get up here, you little fraud!"
I go back down and grab him by his thick mop of hair. "Get yer skinny butt up here, you crazy little wog!" I shout, pulling him up the gangway and flinging him across the deck.
"Pull it up, mates," I cry, and they do it, leaving the thuggees howling below, waving their scimitars in impotent rage.
Uncomprehending but stern and suspicious looks from the quarterdeck follow us as we go below.
Oh Lord, in trouble again...
Chapter 40
"Thanks for not being too angry with me, Higgins," I whisper in the darkness of our room. I have my head on his shoulder and I'm running my forefinger through the whorls of fine hair on his chest. It is much too hot for me to wear my nightshirt, but Higgins insists upon wearing his. I swear, the man refuses to sweat. The cool bath I had enjoyed earlier had helped somewhat with the heat, but that benefit had soon worn off. Oh, well, better than being cold, I suppose.
"I don't know what comes over me sometimes."
"While I realize that it is youthful high spirits that rule your conduct, would it be totally out of the question for you to stop to think for a moment before plunging into action?"