The vampyre regained his footing. A bullet wasn’t going to do much. He saw Jae make a move towards the guy out of the corner of his eye and hissed in disbelief. He threw out his arm, pushing her behind him more roughly than he intended, and then turned on their attacker. The guy threw a punch that would have sent him through the wall had he made contact with him, but he missed, having thrown too much weight behind it. Ryder jerked to his side, grabbing a hold of his arm, and twisted it hard enough to break it. The vamp howled. This gave him the leverage to whip the supernatural around and grab a hold of his head. As quick as lightning, Ryder wrenched it clean off his neck.
“Yuck.” He sighed, dropping the dismembered head on the body. He turned back to glare at Jaeden, who stood watching him in awe. “Well don’t you have some explaining to do.”
Oh crap! Why did he have to go and ruin the moment? Here she was, trembling with shock at the violence, and yet overwhelming admiration with the quick way Ryder had dispatched the vampyre who had come after her. She could tell by the way he hadn’t lingered over the kill that he was a Hunter not because he enjoyed it, but because he was strong and good at it. Fast, efficient.
But noo... could he allow her to stand and ogle him in admiration for just a few minutes. Nope. He had to crack right to the fact that she had used her telekinesis. And whatever friendship they had formed in the last 36 hours was going to die a sudden death when he realized she was polluted.
Maybe she could feign ignorance.
“I think we should get rid of the body just before dawn. We’ll put it out back and it’ll be gone within seconds. Nice job by the way. I’ve not quite managed the art of decapitation by bare hands but I’ll work on that. Yes siree. Is there a technique-”
“Jaeden,” he warned quietly, and took a few intimidating steps towards her. Automatically she backed up against the wall. “Jae, is this what you’re hiding?” He pointed to the gun she didn’t realize was still in her hand. “How did you do that? And before you ask, yes, I mean how did you whip the gun from his hand to yours?”
Aw crap, her life was so over.
She heaved a heavy sigh and flopped down on to the nearest bed, placing the gun gently on the bedside table. She couldn’t look at him as she began, “I don’t know. I can move things with my mind, I guess.”
“Like Caia?”
No, not like Caia! she wanted to scream. Caia could do that because she was born to do it. Half-magik, half-lykan. She hadn’t been tortured to near death, and imbued with her torturers gift for ‘look no hands!’
Instead she shrugged. “I don’t know. I think...”
“You think?” he prodded gently.
She curled her hands into fists. She didn’t want to talk about this! How dare he force her to talk about it? It was none of his goddess damn business!
“Jae?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she clipped out.
“Well, you’re going to have to ‘cause I do.”
Arrgghhh!
Her eyes flashed up to meet his, blazing with shame and fury. “Go to Hades, Ryder!”
He flinched, obviously taken aback by the venom in her voice. “Jae-”
“What, are you deaf?! I don’t want to discuss it. Not with Caia, not with my dad, not with Lucien, and most definitely not with some two-bit Rogue Hunter!”
A growl that built into an almost roar ripped out of him, and he suddenly had her by her upper arms, shaking her like a rag doll.
“Let go!” she yelled, pulling and twisting ineffectually in his grasp.
“No!” he bellowed in her face, her hair blowing back with his anger. “You’re going to tell me what is going on! Now!”
She had never seen Ryder angry before. He was the most together male lykan she had ever met. She began to tremble. Oh goddess, don’t let me cry. No! The tears streamed down her face with a mind of their own, and she felt Ryder’s death grip ease. Abruptly she was pressed against him, her face snuggled into his chest while he sighed and stroked her hair.
“Dammit, don’t cry, Jae, please don’t cry. You know I can’t stand to see a woman cry.”
“I’m s-s-sorry,” she managed, hiccupping. But the tears wouldn’t stop. She continued to sob in his arms as he cradled her against him, whispering soothing nonsense in her ear. She cried all the tears she hadn’t allowed herself until now. She cried for the way her captivity had broken her innocence and faith; she cried for letting fear get the best of her; she cried for the sharp, breathless pain any remembrance of Sebastian brought; and she cried for the shame of having the telekinesis as a permanent scar from Ethan’s torture.
After a little while her tears subsided, her trembling eased, and she managed to catch her breath.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized hoarsely, trying to pull away, but Ryder wouldn’t let her. Instead he brushed her hair aside, stroking her face tenderly. His warm eyes seared into her own cool ones.
“Don’t be. I think it was a long time coming.”
She nodded, unable to tear her gaze away from his.
“Jaeden...” he seemed reluctant to continue.
She decided to put him out of his misery. “I have telekinesis because of Ethan.”
He shook his head. “How did that happen?”
Sucking in a deep breath, she prepared herself to say the words out loud. Admitting it all would just make it… real.
“He tortured me for weeks. He was a fire magik. A good one. Very inventive… creative.” She laughed bitterly. “He used fire as a whip. He lashed me dozens of times, and then allowed me a day to heal before he began again. Sometimes he didn’t use fire… he would just use his energy to slice me open.”
“Oh god-” Ryder’s hold tightened on her, his lips pressed thin with white fury.
“He used to play ‘bloody’ knots and crosses on my stomach, or quiz me about literature, movies… whatever. And if I got the question wrong he’d score my skin... everywhere... my back, my legs, my br**sts, my face, my arms... sometimes he would use this illusion on me, make me think my entire body was burning from the inside out. I’d scream and scream until I passed out with the pain, and then when I woke up... I-I was OK again. Then he would just start it all over again, laughing the more I screamed, the more-”
“Sshhh.” He crushed her so tightly against him she could hardly breathe. “I don’t know if I can hear anymore.”
“I’m just trying to explain,” her voice was muffled against his throat, “he used his energy on me so much that I think it seeped into my blood.”
“Can you do anything else?”
“No.” She managed to pull away. “Just telekinesis. I ran away because I couldn’t control it.”
“And now?”
“I’m getting better. When I have nightmares I can’t.”
His jaw clenched, his eyes blazing. “Do you have nightmares a lot?”
“Sometimes.”
“Jae...” His eyes seemed to glisten, and he abruptly looked away, fighting his emotions. “We should have gotten to you sooner.”
“No!” She grabbed his arm, tugging him back to face her. “Don’t. You all saved me. Don’t do that.”
“I can’t help it... I had no idea it- I knew it was bad, but that-”
Panic shot through her. “Ryder, you can’t tell. Please,” she pleaded.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want anyone to know how bad it was. I don’t want them to know about the telekinesis.”
“Why, it’s not your fault?”
“I just don’t.”
Please, please, please, please.
He took a hold of her shoulders and shook her gently, his expression darkening. “You better not be ashamed, Jaeden Rodriguez, because you have nothing to feel ashamed of. You are the strongest person I know. I’m proud to know you.”
Oh goddess. She felt tears choke her throat again. Why did he have to be so perfect?
“Please don’t tell,” she persisted.
Ryder sighed, shaking his head. “I won’t. But it’s not something you can hide easily, Jaeden. And no one will care. The pack is just happy to be getting you back.”
“Still...”
He held a hand up in surrender, smiling gently. “I promise, I won’t tell.” Relief flooded her, and then immediately dissipated when his expression sobered, and he said, “But Caia already knows everything. She could see your... torture... through Ethan’s eyes.”
The blood drained from her face.
9 - Darker Side
She felt awful.
Sleeping had been an issue after Marita and her ‘operatives’ had worked out a plan of defense against Du Bois and his gang of rebels. And it wasn’t because her body had still been pumping with the adrenaline of doing so well in classes at the Center; it wasn’t because she was juiced with excitement over how efficient and determined the team had been when discussing the MacLachlan attack; it wasn’t because she was nervous about her next day of classes ahead.
It was because of the beautiful redhead who had disappeared into Lucien’s room with him last night so ‘they could talk’.
All night she had tossed and turned, straining to hear any sounds from next door, and fearing what she would do if she did. Finally, she had used the telecom system by her bed to contact Noble and ask him if it was possible for her to have private use of the woodland simulator so she could go for a run.
Of course it wasn’t a problem.
As she stood there alone, breathing in what she knew to be fake, fresh, woody air and yet exhilarating in it anyway, Caia willed her body just this once to change like it used to. She remembered how afraid she had been of telling Lucien and the others that her body slipped into wolf like magik. Remembering the day they were scheduled for their first pack run together since it had happened, Caia felt her anger build irrationally. Lucien had been so kind as she explained the situation, and she had been so scared he would look on her as less of a lykan because of it. No one in the pack had sneered at her, or condemned her, and she knew it was all because of him. So, why did he have to be big jerk now - taking some, six foot-nothing bombshell back to his room? A bombshell he most obviously had a sexual past with, she rippled with fury, her eyes glaring at a large tree in front of her.
Rose had clung to his arm like a burr the entire evening.
A growl ripped out of Caia’s chest, and she felt white heat building from her toes upwards.
No, no, no, no, no! she cried. But too late, she was stumbling back blinded. Afraid of what she would see her eyes peeled open slowly, and she grimaced at the large pile of ash in front of her. She had destroyed the tree. She was really going to have to work on that.
Although most of her pent up frustration had expelled from her, she still shook with the agony that Lucien had been in love with someone; and that he loved another woman and couldn’t be with her because of her. Did he resent her? Please, Artemis, she pleaded silently, let the change be slow. Let my bones crack and my muscles ache, and my eyes tear.