“I haven’t forgotten,” she replied quietly. “Although I’m trying.”
Ryder flinched and she refused to feel bad for the hurt that flickered in his gaze. “What the hell does that mean?” he growled, pushing his face more aggressively closer.
She shrugged, pretending indifference. “I don’t want it. I don’t want… you,” she lied, struggling to forget her amazing first time with him that night at the Center. She’d never felt closer to anyone in her entire life.
He exhaled slowly and took a step back. “You’re grieving. And you’re angry. Confused. You need time.”
“I do need time,” she agreed with her dead eyes. “But I don’t need you.”
And with that she brushed past him ignoring his shocked countenance, and continued on through the hotel in search for Lucien, determined her heart wasn’t breaking.
After all… she didn’t have a heart left to break.
“Lucien.” Rose sighed, gazing up at him imploringly from the sofa in the bedroom suite he had chosen for himself. “Talk to me.”
He didn’t want to talk to anybody. He was afraid of the damage he would do; afraid he would take the frustration over Caia’s departure out on one of the pack. He had managed to shake off Ryder – who was pelting him with questions – and retreat to his room. Then Rose had shown up. She didn’t deserve his attitude.
“I really appreciate your concern, Rose, but-”
“But why don’t you stick your damn nose in someone else’s business.”
They turned to see Jaeden striding into the room, the door slamming shut behind her. Lucien frowned as he glared at Rose.
“Jaeden,” he warned.
She sneered at him and he flinched at the disrespect. Jae had never dared to look or speak to him in any manner but that which she owed her Alpha. “Don’t,” she bit out and then turned back on Rose. “Get out.”
Rose’s mouth fell open momentarily before she remembered herself. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “You don’t tell me what to do.”
“Jaeden, don’t speak to Rose like that.”
“Don’t speak to Rose like that?” She guffawed and sliced him another disdainful look. “Pity you can’t show the kind of concern you reserve for your ex-girlfriend for your actual mate. Or has Caia already been forgotten and I’m interrupting the re-stirrings of a beautiful relationship here?”
For some reason her remark stung and Lucien felt a sense of shame. Not about Rose. There was nothing going on with Rose. He loved Caia. Which was exactly why he felt sick to his stomach for kicking her out of the pack. His plan had totally backfired.
“Rose, can you give us a minute?” He nodded to the door.
By the tensing of her shoulders he knew Rose was annoyed at being dismissed, but if he didn’t have this out with Jaeden now they would be at each other’s throats for days… weeks even.
When Rose was gone, Lucien turned his full attention to Jaeden, reminding himself she was going through an unimaginably difficult time and to be patient with her. “If you’ve come to shout at me about Caia you can stop. I already feel as bad as I’m going to feel.”
Jae curled her lip. “I somehow doubt that. I mean you have Rose hanging out with you already.”
He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “Jaeden, Rose is none of your business.”
She smirked derisively. “Is that why you kicked Caia out? To be with Rose?”
“For goddess sakes, Jaeden, no!” He yelled dropping down into a seat, glaring at her the whole time. “I love Caia.”
“Oh yeah sure, I really got that you know… when you humiliated her and kicked her out of the only family she’s ever known.”
Sharp streaks of guilt spiked him all over. “Don’t. Do you think I wanted to? But this pack has been through enough and Caia is going to do something unforgiveable. We need out of this and Reuben has promised us safety.”
A tense silence fell between them before she finally nodded and lowered herself into the seat across from him. Her eyes were suddenly limped pools and he saw a reflection of his own guilt in them. “And what about Caia’s safety?”
“You think I don’t care?” he hissed. “You think I just threw her out of here like it was nothing? She is my mate, Jaeden. It goes against everything that I am to throw her to the proverbial wolves like that… but she’s made this insane decision and her reasons are not good enough for me to back her up.”
He couldn’t understand. He needed to understand. He needed to run.
“I don’t think her decision is insane.”
Lucien shook his head. “Jaeden, we’re not going to kill innocent people to further our means. I don’t know why Caia feels she has to do it, there’s no good reason-”
“Oh for the love of the gods, Lucien!” Jaeden snapped out of her seat. “This is Caia! She always has a good reason!”
What did she want from him? What did she want him to say? That what Caia was doing was OK? Because it wasn’t. It would never sit right with him.
“Jaeden, I don’t want to argue. In fact, I want to go for a run. So you can stay here bitching at the wall or you can come with me.”
She screwed her face up at him like a child and took a moment. Finally, she exhaled with a huff, “Fine. I’ll come running with you. But I want you to know that I think she’s doing the right thing.”
He shrugged numbly refusing to look at her, feeling little more than a young boy lost.
“Dear Gaia,” she breathed. “You think she’s going to change her mind. You only kicked her out ‘cause you don’t believe she’ll go through with it.”
Ten points for wolf girl. Of course he didn’t believe Caia capable of killing innocent people. The only thing holding him together right now was that hope. And he wasn’t letting go.
He nodded in reply. “I kicked her out hoping that would stop her. It hasn’t but… I have Reuben’s phone number. I’ll check in with him to make sure she’s OK… and then-”
“And then what? Be there when she changes her mind?” She shook her head sadly. “Jeez, Lucien… even if she does miraculously decide not to take out the Septum do you honestly think she will ever forgive you for letting go of her so easily?”
Her question caused his throat to close up and he felt the unbearable need to swipe at something with his claws outstretched. Finally he pinned her with his own penetrating look.
Fight fire with fire.
“You really think if you keep pushing Ryder away he’ll still be there when you realize what an idiot you’re being?” He shouldn’t have enjoyed the way she paled but the animosity between them egged him on. “Yeah, I didn’t think so,” he whispered with a smirk.
“You’re a jerk.”
“Misery loves company, sweetheart.” He shrugged, only speaking the truth.
She gave a pathetic half-growl before jumping towards him with an animation she hadn’t shown in a while. “OK so… you didn’t actually mean to kick Caia out right?”
“Right…”
“So let’s just go get her. All of us. Let’s do this together.”
He shook his head. “I told you I’m not dragging the pack back into this. Plus… for the hundredth time I don’t agree with what she’s doing.”
“But you love her?”
“Yes.”
“And you want to protect her?”
“Of course.”
“Then let’s just you and me go. We’ll go get her. Keep her safe.”
He sighed, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Why was Jae doing this? She was just making him feel bad… it was like kicking a puppy for Gaia’s sake. “I can’t. I can’t leave the pack alone again.” He cursed, feeling his anger at his mate building. “And Caia knows that! No. She made her choice. I have to make mine.”
He watched her shoulders slump, the dim light in her eyes dying. There was more to this for Jae than she was letting on, but getting it out of her would mean nothing short of torturing her. He could only hope she came around on her own.
After a few minutes of silence he shrugged. “So… you still up for that run?”
“Do I get to bite and hit you?” she snapped up from her chair and started crossing the room to the exit.
He sighed and followed her out of the door. “Will you ease up on the verbal assaults if I say yes?”
“But they hurt more.”
“True. But I’m sure you’ll find more satisfaction taking your frustration out on my hide rather than coming up with new caustic witticism’s to scar my soul with.”
“Well, there see… that’s where you’re wrong…”
17 – A Lair, a Girl, and a ‘Hell no!’
Incense flooded her nostrils and clogged the back of her throat. She fought hard not to cough, not wanting to offend Reuben. But the place really did smell bad.
Reuben grinned back at her. “The incense covers the odor.”
Caia frowned as they walked down the dark, narrow hallway and approached the doorway with a beaded curtain as a door. “What odor?” she whispered to Saffron who glided beside her.
Saffron glowered at Reuben’s back. “You’ll see.”
Curious as to the dark look Saffron had thrown Reuben, who as far as Caia could gather was technically her boss, she followed the vamp through the red-beaded curtain and came to an abrupt halt at what she found on the other side.
Saffron nudged around her. “Caia,” she prompted.
But Caia was in shock. They stood in a cramped living room where old, worn out sofas and beanbags took up most of the space. A TV flickered in the corner, where a couple of people sat watching it hypnotically. Soda and beer cans littered the floor and odd furniture, and chips and cookies kept them company out of their packets, molding as they stood there.
The mess wasn’t what shocked Caia. It was the humans. Three to be exact. And the three vampyres that were sucking blood out of the humans’ necks and wrists. More shocking were the moans of pleasure escaping into the air like little invisible ‘O’s and ‘Ah’s out of the mouths of the humans. And the odor was the coppery headiness of blood mixed with sex.
Caia made a face. Lovely.
Caia realized two people in front of the TV were also human. One of them turned and noticed them, his eyes flaring wildly at the sight of the intruders. He scrambled to his feet, his eyes wide with panic as he rushed to the female vampyre on the couch sucking on some guy’s wrist.
“H-heey D-Dee… w-w-we got compaannnyy,” he stuttered, moving cautiously closer to the vampyres.
She was totally confused. When Reuben told her they were going someplace safe to hang out while she looked into the Septum’s trace, Caia didn’t think he meant a vampyre lair… where there were actual bad vampyres. And she was guessing the vampyres hadn’t been expecting old Reuben to drop by. Boy was he going to crack some heads!