I think back to the conversation and start to laugh. Raven wrinkles her nose, which makes me laugh harder.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Baby, we weren’t talking about me breaking up with you. We were talking about my plan to meet Dominick. I knew I was going to have to lie to you about it. Owen wasn’t happy about that, thought you’d already been through enough. And he was worried about me coming face to face with him.”
The corners of her mouth lift slightly before she burrows back into my chest. “I swear you find the strangest things funny.”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you.”
“Blake is funny,” she says like a petulant child.
I hold Raven, her body relaxed and nestled into mine. I think of how she was neglected as a child. I smooth her hair and kiss her head, wishing I could be enough to fill that void in her soul.
I can’t change her past. But I’ll damn well keep her safe in the future. After she hung up on me tonight, not knowing where she was, I was driving all over town worried she’d been in an accident, or worse. That shit ain’t happening again.
“Baby?”
“Yeah?”
“That stunt you pulled on the phone with me tonight?”
Her body curls deeper into my lap. “Um, which part?”
“You should know tonight won’t be the last time I f**k up. I’m new to relationship stuff, so you can plan on getting pissed at me a lot. But from now on, when you’re pissed, you do it where I can see you.”
She pushes herself up, her hand on my chest. “See you?”
“You can put up walls and not talk to me, call me every name in the book, throw shit at me, I don’t care. But you’ll do it with me and end every night in my bed.”
“But, but—”
“No buts.” I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and give her a squeeze. “I’ve been in fights with guys twice my size, been locked in holds so tight I didn’t know if I’d survive, but I’ve never been as scared as I was tonight.”
“Jonah—”
“Driving around town, looking for your car, knowing that Dominick has his sights on you . . .” I slide my hand up and grab a handful of her silky hair. “I can’t lose you.”
She blinks once then again. “I promise. You’ll never lose me, Jonah.” She rests her forehead against mine. “Never.”
I pull her to my chest and she nestles in.
“No more hanging up on my ass either,” I say while I rub her back.
“Okay. As long as you never call me the b-word again.”
“Deal.”
She sighs and nuzzles her face against my neck. I feel the brush of her nose under my ear. As if touching isn’t enough, she breathes in deep, taking a little bit of me inside her. I stifle a groan.
Shifting on my lap, she tempts me with her sexy ass. The sweet fragrance of her shampoo combined with the feel of her soft body permeates my brain. I’m overwhelmed with the burning desire to be inside her. My blood races. The primal man in me wants to stand up and beat his chest, knowing that he’s found a woman to claim, to mark her as his own, going places with her that no man has gone before.
“I love you, Raven.”
She tilts her head up to look at me. “I love you.”
I brush my knuckles against her cheek. “Can I show you?”
Her eyebrows drop low.
“Make love to you, baby.” I answer her unspoken question.
Her body goes rigid in my arms and she studies my face. Whatever she sees seems to agree with her. A sexy smile pulls at her lips and damn if that doesn’t seal the deal.
Nodding her head slowly, I stand with her still in my arms. She cups my face, her thumbs at my dimples, and places feather light kisses against my mouth. I race to the bedroom, her giggles bouncing against my lips the entire way.
Seventeen
Raven
Locked in Jonah’s bathroom, I stare at myself in the mirror. My hands grip the counter and I lean in to study my face: red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes and a wild mane of dark hair framing my pale face.
“Lovely. I look like a zombie. Real sexy, Raven,” I whisper to myself.
Even though I took a shower a few hours ago, I decide another one might help to rinse the dead, decaying look from my face. I pull my hair into a messy bun to keep it dry, and stand under the warm water. A good scrub of my face has me feeling human again. I hop out and the reality of what’s about to happen has me patting my body dry faster than usual. Butterflies swirl in my belly along with eager anticipation.
A smile pulls at my cheeks, flooding my body with warmth. I push the obstacles from today to the back of my head and lock my worries away. They’ll still be there tomorrow. Tonight, it’s just us.
I brush my teeth and throw on a new pair of panties I bought on my last Victoria’s Secret shopping spree. After I slide the bright blue lace up my legs, I check out my reflection from all angles.
This particular style is called The Cheeky and while checking out my backside, I can see why. The low slung, hip huggers are made of delicate lace that cut up dramatically in the back accenting the full curves of my bottom. I bought these with Jonah in mind. He can’t seem to keep his hands off my booty, and I can’t wait to see what he thinks of these.
I forgo a bra or tank and decide topless is the way to go. I run a brush through my hair and allow the messy waves to fall in haphazard disarray.
A quick peek into the bedroom reveals lit candles, soft music, but no Jonah. I race to his bed, arms crossed at my chest, and crawl on top. Lying on my stomach, I take deep breaths to calm my nerves.
He has so much experience with sex. What if I disappoint him? He’s used to sexually confident women who probably hang from the rafters or stand on their heads. I can’t compete with that.
“Stop it. It’s going to be fine. You can hang from rafters,” I whisper. Muffling my giggles into the pillow, I picture myself in some ridiculous position which only antagonizes my nerves.
Think sexy. No giggling.
I breathe deep, and visions of Jonah quiet my thoughts. I welcome the sultry voice of Ella Fitzgerald and the smell of lightly scented candle wax to soothe my frazzled nerves.
I hear the click of the bedroom door as it opens then softly closes. Still on my stomach, my arms folded under my head, I turn to see him and almost choke.
Jonah’s in nothing but a pair of black pajama pants. They hang low on his h*ps exposing the v of his lower abdominal muscles, dusted with dark hair. Holy crud. His inky black hair is spiked with moisture. He must have taken a shower in the guest bathroom. Kaleidoscopic arms, bulging with muscle, tense at his sides, I gawk at his masculine body then settle on his smiling face. His hazel eyes move over me in a visual caress, causing a tremor of need to vibrate beneath my skin.
“Fuck. You look so sexy right now.” His deep voice and dirty talk have me trembling.
My eyes lock on his as he crosses the room to the bed.
“You take my breath away.” His penetrating gaze roams over every inch of my form. “Don’t move. Stay just like that.”
I obey, and he disappears to the foot of the bed. What’s he doing?
The mattress dips at my feet just before I feel the warmth of his hands cover my calves. Using them to guide him, he slowly climbs up my body until he straddles my hips. The fabric of his cotton pants brushes my exposed skin. I take a deep breath and relax as the tips of his fingers run along the edge of my panties at my back.
“These are my favorite.” His fingers trace from one hip to the other.
“I bought them just for you. I thought you’d like them.”
“I fuckin’ love ’em.” He flexes his h*ps into the space between my legs, his blatant arousal making me gasp. “Can’t you tell?”
“Um, yeah, I can.” Nervous giggles creep up from my chest and tickle my throat. Don’t giggle!
He traces the line of my tattoo from my hip to my shoulder. My skin tingles and goose bumps break out across my flesh. The bed dips by my head, and he nips at the shell of my ear. I inhale citrus and spice, swirling my senses and igniting a fire in my belly.
“Have I ever told you how much I love your tattoo?” His mouth travels along the side of my throat where he kisses at his spot.
My head tilts to the side to welcome his attention. His soft lips follow the line of birds, gently kissing and licking until he’s back at my hip. A pleasured moan rises from my chest.
“You like that, baby?” he asks against my skin.
I arch my back, lifting my bottom up and into his chest. He slides his hand beneath the lace and cups one cheek, squeezing and molding it in his hand while his mouth continues its torture.
“Jonah, I want to see you.” My words finish on a whimper.
“Not yet. I’m not finished playing with you.”
I’m so turned on already I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when he’s finished playing with me.
His large hands move back up to massage my shoulders with gentle pressure. Having never been touched this way before, my body responds in new and unfamiliar ways. I melt into the bed. A glorious tingling starts at my chest working its way through my veins and heating my blood.
His slow powerful strokes work down my back. I feel small and delicate under his expert touch. Hands, lips, tongue, and teeth, all stimulate my hunger. I’m panting and greedy. My moans combine with the soft music filling the room, creating an erotic symphony.
“Jonah, I can’t take much more.” I move to roll over, but Jonah presses his chest into my back, caging me to the bed with his weight. His arms rest close to my face and I barely hold back the desire to lean over and trace the tattoos on his biceps with my tongue.
“My girl’s eager.” He rocks his h*ps into me.
An embarrassing whine flies from my lips, and I grind back into him. Intimate parts of my body request, no, beg for his attention.
“You keep that up. This will be over before it begins.” He nips at my neck, soothing his tender bites with slow sweeps of his tongue. “Don’t worry, baby. We’ll get to that. First, we need to talk.”
My body freezes and I twist my neck to look at him.
“Talk? I don’t want to talk.” I sound like a child forced to eat her vegetables.
How sexy is that?
He bites his lip, fighting a smile. “We have to. I know you’re on the pill, so birth control is taken care of, right?”
My face falls into my folded arms to hide my pink cheeks.
“Yes. How did you . . .” Stupid question. He’s seen me take them. “Never mind.”
The only parental thing my mom ever did was take me to get put on the pill at sixteen. She probably thought I’d end up just like her. Gah! I don’t want to think about this now.
“Here’s the thing. I’ve never had sex without a condom. I’ve also never made love to a woman before. How would you feel about me not wearing one?”
“Ugh! Jonah, you’re seriously killing the moment here.” I speak my muffled complaint into the pillow.
“What? I’m being thorough. It’s your first time and I want it to be good for you. I think going bareback would be better. But I won’t do it without your permission.”