She sucked in the curse that raced to the tip of her tongue. Barely. "Look, the benevolent overlord attitude might have gone a lot further for you back in the day, but don't even think you can use it on me."
The livid snarl that lashed out of him made the hairs on the back of her neck rise. "You won't survive a night out there without me, do you understand? If not for me, you wouldn't have survived your first goddamned year!"
Standing there in the dark, Gabrielle went utterly still. "What did you say?"
Only a long silence answered.
"What do you mean I wouldn't have survived..."
He swore through gritted teeth. "I was there, Gabrielle. Twenty-seven years ago, when a helpless young mother was attacked by a Rogue vampire at a Boston bus station, I was there."
"My mother," she murmured, her heart thudding hollowly in her chest. She felt for the wall behind her, and leaned against it for support.
"She'd already been bitten. He was draining her when I smelled blood and found them outside the terminal. He would have killed her. Would have killed you, too."
Gabrielle could hardly believe what she was hearing. "You saved us?"
"I gave your mother a chance to get away. She was too far gone from the bite. Nothing was going to save her. But she wanted to save you. She ran away with you in her arms."
"No. She didn't care about me. She left me. She put me in a trash bin," Gabrielle whispered, her throat burning as she spoke the words, felt the old hurt of abandonment all over again.
"The bite would have put her in a state of shock. It's likely she was disoriented, thinking that she was putting you someplace safe. Sheltering you from danger."
God, how long had she wondered about the young woman who'd given birth to her? How many scenarios had she concocted to explain, to herself at least, what might have happened the night she was recovered on the street, as an infant. Never had she imagined this.
"What was her name?"
"I don't know. I didn't care. She was just another victim of the Rogues. I hadn't thought about any of it until you mentioned your mother tonight at your apartment."
"And me?" she asked, trying to put everything together. "When you first came to see me after the killing I'd witnessed, did you know I was the baby you saved?"
He exhaled a dry laugh. "I had no idea. I came to you because I smelled your jasmine scent outside the nightclub and I wanted you. I needed to know if your blood would taste as sweet as the rest of you."
Hearing those words made her think of all the pleasure Lucan had given her with his body. Now she wondered how it would have felt to have him suckling from her neck as he thrust inside of her. To her shock, she realized she was a lot more than curious. "But you didn't. You haven't..."
"And I won't," he replied, his words clipped. Another curse came from his direction in the dark, this one a pained hiss. "I never would have touched you at all, if I'd known..."
"If you'd known what?"
"Nothing, forget it. Just... Christ, my head is pounding too much for me to talk. Just get out of here. Leave me alone now."
Gabrielle stayed right where she was. She heard him moving again, a stiff shuffling of feet. Another rumbling, animal growl.
"Lucan? Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," he snarled, sounding anything but. "I need... ah, f**k." He was breathing harder now, almost panting. "Get out of here, Gabrielle. I need to be... by myself."
Something heavy hit the carpeted floor with a dull thud. He sucked in a sharp breath.
"I don't think you need to be alone right now at all. I think you need help. And I can't keep talking to you in the dark like this." She smoothed her hand over the wall, blindly searching for a light. "I can't see any - "
Her fingers brushed a switchplate, flipped it on.
"Oh, my God."
Lucan was doubled over on the floor near a king-sized bed. His shirt and boots were off, and he was writhing as though in extreme pain, the markings on his bare back and torso livid with color. The intricate swirls and arcs changed from deep purples to reds to black as he spasmed, clutching his abdomen.
Gabrielle raced to his side and kneeled down beside him. His body contracted savagely, pulling him into a tight ball.
"Lucan! What's going on?"
"Get out." He snarled when she tried to touch him, lashing out like a wounded animal. "Go! Not your... concern."
"The hell it's not!"
"Get... aagh!" A convulsion gripped him again, worse than the last. "Just get away from me."
Panic flooded her to see him thrashing with such pain. "What is happening to you? Tell me what to do!"
He flipped onto his back like invisible hands had tossed him over. The tendons in his neck were stretched taut as cables. Veins and arteries bulged on his biceps and forearms. His lips were peeled back in a grimace, baring his sharp white fangs. "Gabrielle, get the f**k out of here!"
She backed off to give him space, but she wasn't about to leave him suffering like this by himself. "Should I get someone for you? I can go tell Gideon - "
"No! Don't... can't tell. Not... anyone." When he lifted his eyes to her, she saw that his pupils were thin slits of black, swamped by pools of glowing amber. That feral gaze went to her throat. Locked onto the place where she could feel her pulse hammering. Lucan shuddered, squeezed his eyes shut. "It will pass. It always does... eventually."
As if to prove his point, after a long moment, he started to drag himself to his feet. It was hard going and graceless, but the growl he sent Gabrielle's way when she tried to help him convinced her to let him do it on his own. By sheer force of will, he got up and flopped onto his stomach on the edge of the bed. He was still panting, his body still tense and heaving.