It still gripped him, the black, cold terror that he might have harmed her - could have killed her - if he'd let things go any further than they had.
Because, for all his pushing her away, all his denial, he belonged to her. Gabrielle owned him, down to his soul, and not simply for the fact that her blood was nourishing him now, healing his wounds and strengthening his body. He had bonded to her, long before now. But the irrefutable proof of it had come in that bleak instant a moment ago when he feared he might have lost her.
He loved her.
Down to the darkest, loneliest part of him, he loved Gabrielle.
And he wanted her in his life. Selfishly, dangerously, he wanted nothing more than to keep her with him for all the rest of his days.
The realization made him weave in the corridor outside the tech lab. In truth, it nearly sent him to his knees.
"Whoa, easy there." Dante came up to Lucan almost without warning and grabbed him under the arm. "Damn. You look like holy hell."
Lucan couldn't speak. Words were beyond him.
But Dante didn't need an explanation. He took one look at Lucan's face and fangs and Dante's nostrils flared as they picked up the obvious scents of blood and sex. He blew out a low whistle, a gleam of wry amusement flashing in the warrior's eyes.
"You gotta be kidding me - a Breedmate, Lucan?" He chuckled, shaking his head as he clapped Lucan on the shoulder. "Shit. Better you than me, brother. Better you than me."
Chapter Thirty
Three hours later, with night full upon them, Lucan and the other warriors were geared up and sitting in a black SUV parked about a half mile down the road from the old asylum.
Gabrielle's photographs had proven extremely useful in planning the hit on the Rogue lair. In addition to several exterior and ground-level, entry-point photos, she'd taken interior shots of the boiler room, various corridors, stairwells, and even a few containing inadvertent images of mounted security cameras that would need to be disabled once the warriors gained access to the place.
"Getting in's going to be the easy part," Gideon said, as the group of them began the final review of the operation. "I'll interrupt the security signal on the ground-level cameras, but once we're inside, planting those two dozen bars of C4 in critical areas without alerting the entire colony of suckheads will prove a little trickier."
"Not to mention the added problem of unwanted publicity with the humans," Dante said. "What the hell's taking Niko so long to locate that gas main?"
"Here he comes," Lucan said, spotting the vampire's dark shape nearing the SUV from the ridge of trees outside.
Nikolai opened the back door and climbed in next to Tegan. He pulled off his black head covering, wintry blue eyes alive with excitement. "Piece of cake. The main line is in a lockbox on the west end of the complex. The suckheads may not need heat, but public service has plenty of gas running to the buildings."
Lucan met the warrior's eager look. "So, we get in, set up our party favors, clear the location - "
Niko nodded. "Signal me when the shit's in place. I'll flip the main line, then detonate the C4 once we all rendezvous back here. On the surface, it'll look like a gas leak caused the explosion. And if Homeland Security wants to get involved, I'm sure some of Gabrielle's photos of gangbanger graffiti will send the humans sniffing around in circles for a while."
Meanwhile, the warriors would be sending a big message to their enemies, particularly the Gen One vampire who Lucan suspected was at the helm of this new Rogue insurgency. Blowing their headquarters into the next century ought to be a sufficient invitation for the bastard to come out into the open and dance.
Lucan was anxious to get started. Even more anxious to finish the night's mission because he had his own unfinished business back at the compound. He hated leaving Gabrielle like he had, knowing she had to be confused and probably more than a little upset.
There were things to be said, certainly, things he hadn't even been prepared to think about much less discuss with her in that moment when the stunning reality of his feelings for her had hit him.
Now, his head was full of plans.
Reckless, stupid, hopeful plans, all of them centered on her.
Around him in the vehicle, the other warriors were checking their gear, loading up the bars of C4 into zippered duffel bags and making final adjustments to the earpieces and mics that would keep them in contact with one another once they breached the asylum perimeter and split up to place the explosives.
"Tonight, we do this for Con and Rio," Dante said, flipping one of his curved blades with nimble, black-gloved fingers and stabbing it into the sheath on his hip. "Vengeance time."
"Hell, yeah," Niko replied, a sentiment echoed swiftly by the others.
When they started to go for the doors, Lucan lifted his hand.
"Hold up." His grim voice stilled them all. "There's something you need to know. Since we're about to go in there and possibly get our asses handed to us, I suppose now's as good a time as any to be straight with you about a couple of things... and I need a promise from each of you."
He met the faces of his brethren, warriors who'd been fighting beside him, as tight as kin, for what seemed like forever. They had always looked to him to lead, trusting him to make the hard calls, certain he would never be at a loss for strategy or decision.
Now he wavered, hesitant, unsure of where to begin. He raked a hand over his jaw, blew out a sharp sigh.
Gideon frowned at him, concerned. "Everything good, Lucan? You took a pretty massive hit in the ambush last night. If you want to sit this out - "
"No. No, that's not it. I'm fine. My injuries are healed... thanks to Gabrielle," he said. "Earlier today, she and I..."