For a brief moment, he gave her a glimpse of the boy she used to know. His eyes were full of sincerity instead of arrogance, and his touch on her hand had softened. Beneath his layers of power, he was still the boy who had once been her lover and friend. She had tried to forget that, but she’d found, over the years, that it was an impossible task.
“Maybe I just feel trapped, Camden.”
Finally, he released her hand. “I don’t think so. I just think you’re afraid and that’s why you constantly run from me.”
“I wasn’t the one who ran first, Cam,” she said, hating the sorrow this caused her. “But you seem to have quickly forgotten that.” So much pain accompanied these words.
“Grace . . .” He trailed off, obviously at a loss for what to say.
There wasn’t anything to say. There was nothing he could do to make up for what he’d done to her. They both knew it. She couldn’t keep fighting with this man.
“Do whatever you want, Cam, but I’m done with this conversation. Thanks for lunch.”
With that, she stood up and did exactly as her mother had done—walked out and left him with the bill. And she couldn’t help but feel a small measure of satisfaction at besting him.
It seemed that Cam was spending as much time as his brother was at the hospital where Spence was a top-rated heart surgeon. Although at one time the smells and sounds had set off unpleasant thoughts for Cam, now they were a comfort for him. He waited for Spence to focus back on him before speaking.
“Have you ever done anything that you regret?”
Spence gave him a look as if trying to figure out if Cam was serious or not before he considered his words.
“Only about a thousand times,” Spence said. But he held up his hand before Cam could speak. “But then I realize that those mistakes I’ve made along the road of life have shaped me into who I am today. So, even though I might have regrets, I also appreciate those mistakes.”
“That makes absolutely no sense,” Cam said. “If you regret doing it, then how can you also appreciate it?”
“Because everything we do leads us to where we currently are,” Spence said as if it were the most logical thing in the universe.
“But wouldn’t we still get to the end of the road with or without the mistakes?” Cam asked.
“I don’t know. Each decision we make impacts us in one way or another. Maybe if you choose one option over another, it will take you on a different journey,” Spence told him.
“Argh. I don’t know why I bother coming to you for advice,” Cam said, throwing up his hands.
“Because you need me.”
Spence’s pager went off and he looked down before moving over to the phone and calling someone. After a few moments and a few medical terms Cam was beginning to learn, Spence hung up.
“Do you need to go?”
“No. They have it under control. Let’s go outside for a minute. I need sun,” Spence said. He began moving without waiting for a reply. That’s what it was like to be a doctor—constantly moving and jumping to someone else’s tune. Cam wondered where the actual glamor was that so many people spoke of when speaking of being a doctor.
To him it looked like a lot of hours and a lot of unappreciative people. But then, once in a while there was a case—that case that changes people’s lives for the better. That’s what Spence always spoke of.
When Cam still didn’t speak when they made it outside, Spence led him along a path that wound down by the river. It was his favorite place at the hospital—quiet, secluded, where only the sounds of the forest animals scurrying along and crying out to each other could be heard.
“You going to tell me why you’re here?” Spence finally said as he leaned down and picked up a few rocks, then began tossing them in the water.
“I don’t know. I’ve just been so frustrated. I had lunch with Grace today. It didn’t go well.”
“Was it a planned lunch?” Spence asked.
“Well . . . not really,” Cam admitted.
“So you once again blindsided her and then expected her to be thrilled you were invading her space,” Spence said.
“I didn’t do that . . . not exactly,” Cam replied, defending himself.
“Come on, Cam. You’ve been in love with this woman for more than ten years, but stubborn pride keeps you repeatedly making mistakes. You thought she’d just be sitting around, waiting on you while you traipsed around college doing whatever the hell you wanted to do, and then you were pissed to find that she wasn’t doing exactly that,” Spence told him.
“I wasn’t traipsing all around,” Cam thundered. Spence’s brows went up. “Well, I wasn’t exactly doing that. And since when have you begun taking her side?”
“Since I married her best friend, and I’ve heard more of the story. We were all asses when we were young, but we’ve now grown up. It’s time to start acting like it,” Spence told him.
“Dammit, Spence! I didn’t come here to get lectured,” Cam told him.
“Yes, you did. You know what you need to do, but you’re stubborn and need someone to set you straight. There’s no one like your big brother to do just that,” Spence said with a laugh.
“Well, you nearly blew it with Sage,” Cam pointed out.
“Yes, I did. But luckily I listened to not only those around me but also my heart, and I managed to catch the girl. It’s the smartest thing I’ve ever done,” Spence said. He looked at Cam and smiled. “I mean that, little brother, the absolute smartest. I could give up everything in my life, live in some cabin in the middle of the woods with no power, and still I’d be happy just as long as Sage was there by my side.”