He’s right. If Daisy liked to burden people with her pain, she would have told her sisters about her insomnia, about her horrible f**king prep school friends. About what happened during the ten months that she was living with her parents—when I was at my apartment. She doesn’t think her problems measure up to Lily’s addiction, but they do. They’re just as important.
I stare at the ground, my eyes burning again. I just have this mental picture of Daisy waking up in a strange place, in a foreign country, with no familiar face in the room. It’s f**king horrifying, and I want to save her from that. “Has anyone called her mom yet?”
“No,” he whispers. “Samantha doesn’t know anything, and Rose wants to let Daisy decide whether they tell their mother now or later. Especially since Daisy is going to miss the rest of Fashion Week, and we all know Samantha won’t take that well.”
“Her mom loves her though,” I say. “She’d be concerned. We should at least f**king call her.”
“Ryke,” he breathes. “She’d kick you out of the hospital. I looked online, and someone already uploaded your fight with Ian from the pub. Somehow Samantha is going to blame you for Daisy’s injuries, then cause a scene and upset Daisy even more. It’s delicate. So we need to ask her first.”
I nod. I just hope Daisy is coherent enough that she can respond to anything. What if she can’t talk? What if she’s f**king blind? We know nothing.
Connor studies my reaction for a while and then adds, “And Celebrity Crush posted a photo of Daisy thrown over your shoulder.” He pauses, and his deep blue eyes narrow at me. “Your hand is on her ass, by the way. You should care more about what her father thinks if you want to have a real relationship with her, and if you don’t, then I’m telling you now, as her brother-in-law, back off.”
This is a new side of Connor. Protective of Daisy. I do appreciate it, more than I’m going to let on. “How do you know what I want?”
“I can read people really well. I’m almost a hundred-percent positive you’ve kissed her, based on seeing her in Paris. Her lips were red. She was a little flushed. You were too.”
I open my mouth, but he cuts me off.
“Lo didn’t pick up on it. He wouldn’t. I don’t think many people can see what I can.”
“Why do you have to f**king compliment yourself when you prove a point?”
“I’m stating truths.”
I cross my arms. “Well, here’s one for you, Cobalt. It doesn’t matter if I grab her around the waist, if I kiss her chastely or if I kiss her roughly. No matter what I f**king do, her father isn’t going to like me. Her mom is going to hate me. Fuck you for thinking I need their approval to have a real relationship. What I feel is f**king real, and I don’t need her mom to verify that for me.”
Connor shakes his head like I’m an idiot.
I want to f**king hit something right now, so him standing here, being a smug prick is not helping the situation. The sedative that has kept me at ease is quickly wearing off.
“How is it real?” he asks. “If you have to hide it from your friends and family, that makes your relationship pretend, Ryke.”
“Fuck you,” I say again.
“No, f**k you,” he retorts, pretty uncharacteristically. So much so that my muscles tense. “I stuck up for you. When Lo was against you and Daisy, I was the one who tried to convince him that you’re both mature adults. I supported any idea of a relationship you two might have in the future, I still do, but after this trip, I’m reconsidering how much faith I had in you.”
I can tell this is more than just my hand on her ass in a f**king picture. It’s the “talk” he wanted to have in her hotel room after she woke up screaming. Why does he have to pick this moment to tear through me?
I miscalculated how pissed Connor is tonight. He was right. He’s truly f**king angry, and he’s on the offensive. “You should have told someone about her sleeping issues,” he says. “I thought you, out of all people, would be more concerned about her health. I thought you would have run to her sisters with the news. I thought you’d do anything to ensure Daisy’s safety and protection.”
“I f**king did!” I shout. Some people sleeping in the waiting room begin to stir.
“Then why does no one know?”
“She didn’t want to tell a f**king soul,” I say. “Rose and Lily had their own shit to deal with. She didn’t want to worry her mother or you or anyone with these problems. She wanted to f**king deal with it in private.”
Connor processes this for a second before he asks, “And how long has she been dealing with this, Ryke?”
I shake my head at him. “It wasn’t one singular event. It’s been an accumulation of things.”
“How long?”
I can’t hide it from him. “Over a year.”
His eyes begin to glass, but he nods repeatedly. “It was all the media, wasn’t it? The paparazzi that broke into her room, the guy that destroyed her bike and assaulted her—it all got to her more than she let on.”
“That was the start of it.”
“Rose is going to be so upset that she didn’t pay enough attention to her.” Connor blows out a deep breath, as though he can feel his wife’s pain from this and she still has no idea. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner, to be honest.”
I roll my eyes. “This stays between us. Daisy has to be the one to tell her sisters.”
He nods in agreement. “Has she been to a doctor?”
“Before she left for Paris, she was seeing a therapist regularly, and she’s been through her fair share of sleep studies.” I list out all the information I know he’ll ask. No one has given her much of a solution to resolve her insomnia besides medication and therapy. She just has to cross her f**king fingers that one day she’ll grow out of this.
Connor takes out his phone and starts typing. “I need the names of all her doctors and her therapist.”
“You sound like Rose.”
“I’m serious. I want to make sure you took her to the best—”
“Connor,” I cut him off, “she’s my f**king girlfriend. I’ve triple f**king checked every person she’s been seeing. I don’t need you to do my job for me. I’m more than capable of taking care of her.”
He hesitates before pocketing his phone, and then he stares at me with more respect than when this conversation started. “So you put a label on your relationship?”
I nod. “Yeah, we did.” My nose flares as I hold back emotion. She’s in a f**king hospital room, maybe fighting for her life. What wrong decisions did I make to put her there? Where did I f**k up?
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I chose to never meet my brother. If I chose to keep my head buried in the sand.
My mom would have never known about Lily’s sex addiction.
She would have never shouted it to the f**king world.
No media.
Daisy would sleep peacefully.
Lily wouldn’t feel so f**king ashamed.
Connor and Rose wouldn’t have their sex life distributed online.
And my brother—I think he’d still be drinking.
I take a deep breath, the night saddling me with more regret than I’m used to bearing. “I haven’t always done the right thing, Connor,” I say. “I’m not perfect. But I’m trying so hard to look after my brother and her. But if I’m hurting them, then you need to tell me right now.” I meet his gaze—no pretenses. No jokes. The severity in our postures makes it hard to breathe. And I tell him something from my f**king soul. “I don’t want to ruin anyone’s life by being in it. That was never my intention.”